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Making new friends in a new city is not always easy, yet it is necessary. If you want to lead a life of adventure, you will need to learn how to make new friends.

So, you are reading this because you are a PUA in a new city. Or, you’re just a guy in a new city and need some tips on (re)building your social circle. While this post is more specific to PUAs, normal guys and gals can still benefit from it. The process may be a bit different for guys and girls, nonetheless the advice in this post should overlap. Keep in mind I am learning as I go since I moved to San Diego.

Your first 10 days in a new city

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A friend of mine, Mark D. is a older guy who has a lot more life experience than I do. He shared something recently with me that is close to my heart and the thought continued to evolve.

Life is long, life is short. It is all a matter of perspective, right? Well, life is about time, and time is limited. We’re told can be can anything we want to, but in truth there is a finite amount of time and resources in this lifetime that we eventually give back before we turn to dust or return to the lord or whatever it is you believe.

Being single in America is weird, because we are so entitled to getting everything we want. Money, food, “friends”, all the quick fixes. However I think this actually create isolation and a reality that is further away from the truth.

Village life, in fact, is closer to truth. Ever watch avatar? Tribe members die, others are born, there are different people in different age groups, growing up and growing old in the cycle of life. This fact and truth is remained hidden in celebrity society, because the dream that’s being created is, live young forever and be famous and rich!

I’ve been avoiding the truth for the last few years, sitting pretty at my job when in fact I should have been searching for it. I also realized that not having my family here, I am “removed” from part of a natural cycle of list. Things I need to do going forward to be closer to reality:

• Have genuinely good friends who are more important to you than superficial stuff
• Get a dog – dog’s life is short, yet spends his moments with you in the present. I still remember our old black lab from Africa years later
• Attend a funeral, wedding, or plan some sort of rite of passage event
• Help out at a local shelter – see those who are less fortunate than you
• Be doing a job that is your gift to the world, and if not, make plans to be doing this 12 months from now.

In terms of pick up, I would say:

• Go out regularly to see the night club environment for what it is – a socially artificial place where girls are
• Have a regular group of friends that hangout and have a good time, doesn’t matter what you do
• Have friends who respect you for who you really are, instead of your image
• Have genuine female friends who care about you beyond just sex
• Recognize people’s reactions as different between cold vs. warm approaches

Tyler does a good job about describing having an “abundant” mentality while recognizing scarcity in life:

I wanted to get this down before I went to sleep as I have been in field for the last 48 hours and have learned a lot and hopefully sharing these here with you will help you with your game. Last 48 hours I:

1. Slept with 1 girl
2. Opened 50+ girls
3. Got rejected 20+ times
4. Got about 8-10 solid contacts
5. Made out with 1 girl in less than 30 seconds
6. Made some really cool friends at a genuine level

Lesson 1: People can be very nice or very mean, they live in their own head space of reality. Read more