Update on Going Out
Nelson Mendela died today. He lived a long, good life. When we were in Cape town in 1996, dad took a detour and visited Johnannesburg too. I remember everyone talking about Mr. Mendela and the revolution that was happening under him. There was an excitement in the air that connected the social narrative, that real change was now possible. To think that one man made such a HUGE difference in a nation of over 51 million is astonishing.
Reading about his story I also realized that he, like Martin Luther King, like Mother Teresa, had flaws, but also did things for other people. There is a certain joy to helping others. He believed the true freedom cannot be reached if there are people in poverty, because in poverty no one can ever really escape life’s harsh realities. I see now that I have spent my last 10 years seeking “freedom with income and women”, while Mendela was a higher purpose, seeking freedom for all.
It also got me thinking about the reason for selfishness vs. selflessness. In a world that is sometimes hard to see clearly the morality of a situation, how does one like Mendela continue to hold onto hope and the best in people? In his words:
“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.” —Long Walk to Freedom: The Autobiography of Nelson Mandela“
I enjoy the flow of the game at night game, but I do get despair when I see the superficial aspects of women in clubs. They turn easily (from one guy to another, based purely on social value), they go home with strangers, people value alcohol and smokes and loud dance music over genuine conversation and a level of sophistication and class that seems to be sorely missed from Jay Gatsby’s days.
I have strayed from my original ways, learning game mechanically. Larry Page found Lucy based on his perception of her intelligence and gentle nature. I’m not going to find my counterpart going out to clubs, its just not likely that will happen. Instead, I should look towards avenues via social circles to expand my horizons. I am going to conclude my training with Psych at 6 sessions, and see if I can get a refund for the remaining 4 sessions. I hope Fuji is cool about this, we’ll see. I am improving my club game immensely. My speech is getting better, and so is my eye contact and body language. Mary said something important to me though – if I just show my vulnerable self, who I really am, women will fall for me. And if I can find a girl as good as her, who shares my values, then I will feel like I have accomplished what I had initially set out to do.
The mechanics of club game is an important skill, but ultimately I want to be a man of integrity and substance, that extend beyond the cold approach pick up of the club. I have made this decision tonight and will follow through on it.
FR 12/3/2013 in Typhoon PB
Incahoots for a birthday party. Met an Egyptian girl gaming me, I flash gamed her since she was right next to the stage, so I got some nice social proof. There are some hotties here with old country guys. I didn’t get a chance to game too many girls, but we eventually left and she got my number. I got a chance to see what it was like to be gamed. I should have qualified and A3′d her more (male to female interest) so we’ll see how that number pans out.
First set group of German girls went ok, didn’t go anywhere but it was a good warm up set. I am getting better at my interactions at being the prize and being entertaining.
Friends of roommate one really hot Brazilian girl, but I got no traction. She wasn’t feeling me and I could tell, so I let it go. She was a certified Brazilian hottie though.
10 sets go
I open a group of european girls 4-5 set it goes ok until girls pull them away. This always happens in big groups when you don’t properly hook at least one of them.
2 set went very well, got 2 numbers from 2 German girls, pretty hot.
Another 2 set went ok, got pulled away by a friend.
3 set, with Shannon, the brown haired German girl > She’s a real downer, negative Nancy. Some people just have that energy to stay away, it drags you down. Read more
Day 2 Logistics
I had 3-4 dates and no lays for the last 2 weeks, which is a bit frustrating. I would think that its not a big deal, but then circumstances change the it is hard to get the girls out again! Yes, the dates themselves were ok not “love of my life” situation, but I should have closed anyway. It is a HUGE waste of time, money, if a date ends up being nothing.
I used to have salsa class with the girls and it goes extremely well, however I have been avoiding the salsa scene due to my ex, and have been taking girls out for dinner/drinks. This is getting expensive and boring. Time to change it up.
Todd hit on all the things I was thinking about on my last 3 dates
Going out Sat night I was on a date annoying bay area girl
She’s super annoying. I should have ditched her, however I learned to have a icy face and IOD a lot. She’s super sarcastic and negative. Next time, I will just leave to pick up a new girl.
I learned to stay icy and be unreactive to her comments because if I laughed or showed my real self, she’ll play this sarcastic game like she’s always in control. Bay area girls do that yes it is a stereotype. What I got out of it was to learn to stay calm under pressure, and that even on dates or drinks girls can give you a hard time, its all part of the game until you mentally “defeat” her and she genuinely feels attraction and falls for you. If the girl was worth it… that is what I would do and endure to get her.
Before I meet the date girl HB8 I get a HOT blonde’s number but the interaction was short and I should have qualified a bit more, and texted with her on the spot. Also I ran up to her to hide her tag too much commitment, should have said, “you’re welcome cutie” instead of “hey I love you” eyes.
After she drops me off I walk back for another 3 sets on the street that turns into 5.
I really enjoyed it!
- 1st set hot blonde with part Asian girl, went every well. They wanted me to stay and talk, however they both had boyfriends so I just FB close.
- 2nd set girlfriend took her away but super hot blonde was nice. Would not give number said she can’t and she has to leave.
- 3rd set didn’t go anywhere but it was funny trying to run down sets going home at 1:45am
Set 1 – banter on the street
I opened a young girl as a warm up set, she’s 19 and we chatted for a big .She has a boyfriend of 3 years. Cute. I gave her a hug. I hugged another blonde and we stopped them at the light for a bit, then I lost them when I said something, her friend pulled her away. I lost the friend I should listen to the audio again to see what I said (*AUDIO NOTE)
Set 2 – group set, asshole nice guy, annoying girls, hot but stupid drunk blondes
I opened a girl who gave me a rose. I held the rose and for the rest of the night got opened by girls about it. Great prop. We talk to some dumb blondes who were exactly my type, super skinny and hot faces. The guy they were with was annoying, he would jump in and interrupt and pretend to be nice, but actually was passively aggressive. I asked him who his girlfriend was and he pointed. The 2 hot blondes were obviously drunk, they had these dead eyes and couldn’t even speak properly. I end up gaming the less attractive brunette, but the guy was just being really annoying and interrupting. Y winged me for a bit, which kept him busy, but they soon got confrontational, and I decided it wasn’t worth it. I was getting annoyed the group wasn’t that interesting and both the blondes had serious boyfriends. I did learn though that sometimes overzealous guys will try to cockblock you, if you want the girl, you have to go for it. Read more