The Cocky Young Kid

September 30, 2007 by  
Filed under My Personal Life

Being too Cocky without backing it up – we have all experienced this kid, whether it is inside ourselves or represented in another person.

Today I had a prospective future roommate visit me. At first glance, he looked like a complete nerd. Glasses, dressed down khakis and a plain T-shirt. He actually brought his girlfriend too, who was also visiting from TX. Wow! I thought, he actually has a GF (even though she was overweight, she was at least of mixed Asian / Spanish heritage, not a bad gene mix). As the conversation went on, I realized that this kid was actually very cocky! He’s very proud of his degree in CS and wasn’t that impressed by my profession at all. Not that he should be, but he didn’t even express any interest in myself. After he left, Wayne and I both thought, “who the fuck did this kid think he was!?!”

In the SF Bay PU community, occasionally I will run into a young college kid, who is actually quite confident. It reminds me of myself. I graduated from college at 20, and I thought I was the shit. At times, that confidence is a protection shield we use in case of rejection. It was also a way for us to push ahead, to break out of our comfort zone and remain in the protection of this “pride”. I understand them, but honestly now I find them annoying! I realized that I was probably like that to other people when I first got out of school 3 years ago!

It took a big hit for me to realize that I was indeed, just a kid. It was a huge reality check, when at 21 and 22 I was laid off twice, once because of company culture clash after acquisition, the other was a clash with an old manager Tom who I totally did not get along with. I know understand how they felt when I was around them. It wasn’t that I was wrong, but it was that feeling of, “OK, maybe this kid has potential, but he is acting like he has 10 years of experience on me and in reality, I have gray hair and this guy is just out of college.”

In truth, looking back, I always believed that I was a smart kid. I just didn’t realize how that might make other people feel when I would outwardly express my opinions without taking into account the years of experience these people already have. A truly smart young man must understand how to downplay his potential, because his best benefit is to continue to learn from these older folks and eventually, travel a much more successful path than they have. Sergey and Larry saw this with Google, and I plan urge other young graduates to take true confidence vs. overly cocky attitudes to heart.

Patient to House: “You are an asshole”
House: “Then why are you still here?”
Patient: “Because you must be damn good at what you do to keep this job with your personality”

Too Much Money…

September 29, 2007 by  
Filed under My Personal Life

Becoming financially secure with $50M is a feeling I have yet to experience. Today, one of my co-workers and friends who founded the original software around Google Earth is retiring. As I wished him good luck, I couldn’t help but wonder, “What are you going to do now?”

N replied, “I don’t know! I think I am going to start a VC firm”
Me, “Sounds fun, so I can come to you if I need funding for a startup right?”
N, “Haha, sure that would be an honor”

Strangely, I felt no jealously. I wished the best for him, and I wondered myself how I would feel and what I would do if I had $50M dollars. I suspect, if money was not a life issue right now, I would take a 6 month sabbatical and take residence with a Master PUA to perfect my game.

What Women Want

September 16, 2007 by  
Filed under Learn about Pickup

They like you in sneakers, they hate paisley, and you’d probably get more action if you dressed like a fireman. Here, the women staffers of Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, O, and Harper’s Bazaar dole out advice in our exclusive survey.

1. I prefer a man’s legs in:

A. Chinos 6.5%

B. Levi’s 80.6%

C. Suit pants 9.7%

D. Board shorts 3.2%

2. The most flattering color a man can wear is:

A. Blue 41.9%

B. Green 3.2%

C. Pink 12.9%

D. Whatever matches his eyes 35.5%

3. The sexiest thing a man can wear is:

A. A tuxedo 22.6%

B. Rugged jeans and a plain white T-shirt 67.7%

C. Those Marky Mark boxer-briefs 6.5%

D. A pair of tiny Italian swim trunks 3.2%

4. I like it when he smells like:

A. Nothing 58.1%

B. A sweaty fireman 6.5%

C. Citrusy cologne 16%

D. Scotch 19.4%

5. If I could change one thing about my man’s style, it would be:

A. I’d make him spend more than fifteen bucks on a haircut 25.8%

B. I’d teach him the subtleties of wearing or not wearing cologne 3.2%

C. I’d give away his double-pleated pants and buy him flat fronts 35.5%

D. His shoes. Oh, my God, his shoes. 25.8%

6. When I see a guy in sandals, I think:

A. A simple flip-flop will do 61.3%

B. He’s coming nowhere near my uterus 6.5%

C. He has sexy toes. I want to see ’em. 6.5%

D. Sandals haven’t looked sexy on a man since they were worn by the
Son of God 25.7%

7. My favorite thing to borrow from my man is:

A. His worn-out button-down shirt 45.2%

B. His underwear 6.5%

C. His robe 12.9%

D. His State U. sweatshirt 32.3%

8. The most common male fashion crime I witness on a regular basis is:

A. Athletic socks worn with dress shoes 25.8%

B. Pants that are too short 32.3%

C. Grossly miscalculated uses of pattern 12.9%

D. A suit that’s way too big 25.8%

9. A man who dresses better than me:

A. Would probably use all my expensive hair products 12.9%

B. Is my hero 16.1%

C. Yeah, right. Do you know who you’re talking to? 19.4%

D. Is generally not interested in dating my gender 51.6%

10. My man looks best in:

A. Sneakers 35.5%

B. Boots 32.3%

C. Suede bucks 6.5%

D. A shiny pair of dress shoes 19.4%

11. I like it best when he comes to bed wearing:

A. Those flannel pajamas with the big buttons 3.2%

B. Just boxers 67.7%

C. Just socks 0%

D. Nothing at all 29%

12. I like his jeans to fit:

A. Like John Travolta’s in Urban Cowboy 3.2%

B. Like Brad Pitt’s in Thelma and Louise 83.9%

C. Like Jay-Z’s onstage 3.2%

D. Like Huck Finn’s in The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn 3.2%

13. The acceptable dollar amount for a man to spend on a haircut is:

A. $15 29%

B. $50 41.9%

C. $100 22.6%

D. $0; I’m good with a pair of shears 6.5%

14. My favorite kind of suit on a man is a:

A. Two-button 32.3%

B. Three-button 51.6%

C. Double-breasted 9.7%

D. Sailor’s suit 3.2%

15. My favorite type of men’s shirt is:

A. A dress shirt with French cuffs 41.9%

B. A knit, short-sleeved polo shirt 12.9%

C. A plain white tee 42%

D. A taut, ribbed tank top that shows off his guns 3.2%

16. My favorite pattern for a man’s tie is:

A. Paisley 6.5%

B. Collegiate stripe 16.1%

C. Plain, with texture 71%

D. The ones with all those cute little sailboats on ’em 3.2%

17. My favorite man in uniform is:

A. Naval officer 35.5%

B. Policeman 9.7%

C. Fireman 51.6%

D. My UPS guy 3.2%

18. If my man asked me to pick one style icon for him to emulate, I would pick:

A. Johnny Depp 25.8%

B. George Clooney 61.3%

C. Tom Wolfe 0%

D. Kanye West 9.7%

19. An average man becomes instantly bed-worthy when:

A. He displays finely manicured hands 6.5%

B. He wears an impeccably detailed dress shirt 22.6%

C. He dons a tuxedo 29%

D. He just doesn’t give a damn 32.3%

20. A man should dress for:

A. His mom 0%

B. His boss 3.2%

C. Me 35.5%

D. Himself 61.3%

Most Disturbing Advice on Jeans:

“Above all, you’ve got to buy your jeans tight, guys, knowing they’ll stretch. Jeans that are too big are, in my opinion, men’s number-one fashion mistake.” -Lauren Gard, Marie Claire

Most Welcome Advice on Scent:

“All men have their own scent-whether it be cigarettes and river water or the Old Spice aftershave that his mom buys him-and if they’re sexy, then their smell is sexy.” -Polly Brewster, O

80-20 rule on Routines and Frame

September 9, 2007 by  
Filed under Learn about Pickup

I recently completed a Presentation Training seminar sponsored by our company. The trainer’s name was Cara, and she was an excellent presenter. At first glance, she looked like a regular “soccer mom”, but the way she carried herself was very professional. She moved her hands when she talked, but also maintained her balanced stance and eye contact with the group of 5-6 trainees. She was articulate and to the point.

On day 2 of our training, a sweet woman co-worker got on stage. Her normal conversation style was very friendly and non-alpha, and Cara asked her to change it up to become more professional and authoritative. After our speech, I mentioned, “Cara, she looks great now and more authoritative, but I miss some of her natural character”. The woman immediately smiled and said thank you. Cara’s answer I remember now was a “ah-ha” parallel to my PUA training. Here is her response:

“That’s a very good point. In the beginning, learning a new skills can be difficult because it pushes you out of your comfort zone. And this is exactly what it is, a skill. The way you present yourself will have an impact not only on your friends and family, but also your co-workers, other people of authority as well as influence your own career path. The idea is to develop these skills so that you are making a conscious decision to use them.

The 80-20% rule applies here. 80% of the time, you recognize the conversation frame and respond or lead accordingly. There is a balance between authoritative and approachable. Ideally, you want to appear very alpha but also seem like you are open to other people’s ideas. As you gain these skills, you can throw in the additional 20% that reflects your natural character. This shows that you have mastery over your own projection to the world, and if you choose to show your character, you can. The idea is that you have the power to make the conscious choice.”

This idea struck me pretty powerfully as I thought about pickup. In MM, you follow the A1 to S3 flow. There are times where I was myself all night and had no luck with any girls. These days, I follow the Method and it leads me to consistent n-close and k-closes. There are bits and pieced where I throw in my own natural character, such as during the comfort phase – where I grew up, grounding stories, as well as life details that are all true and close to heart.

If a PUA can have mastery with 80% of his own version of proven techniques, he can prove to the girl, himself and the people around him that he understand the rules of the game. Then, if he choses to, he can consciously control and reflect 20% of his natural personality as he gets to know the girl.