Dale Carnegie wrote a book by this exact name many years ago in the 1940′s. And it is in this book and in its philosophies that I have learned from recently. When you worry, people tend to worry about their confusion and fears. And as we know, imagination is powerful, both in good and bad ways. In process for dealing with worrying is as follows:
1. What are you worried about? Analyze the situation fearlessly and honestly and figure out what was the worst that could happen as a result of this failure/situation
2. After figuring out what was the worst that could possibly happen, I reconciled myself to accepting it.
3. From that time on, I calmly devoted my time and energy to trying to improve upon the worst which I had already accepted mentally.
In this succession, I reduced my headaches and heart rate as it relates to work. Hopefully, I can have a good night of sleep tonight.
We stay connected these days via the phone, but in all honestly, physical intimacy with friends is the closest thing there is to our tribal roots. I realized this as I was getting support from my friends, but via phone. I wish people would meet face to face more often. Eventually, I want to be in my own company that allows me to meet with people daily and interact with them in a positive way. I believe that is one of the keys to me fulfilling the potential in my life.
I debated whether or not to post this on my blog, as not everything is always rosy and shiny. The reason I decided to post this is so that, one day, when I reach my own desired level of success, people can look back and say, “Wow, AW felt the same way back then, and here are the tools he employed to move and and ascend his current predicament”.
Smile. Smile like you mean it. This person standing in front of you just betrayed you. Threw you under the bus execution style. But you must be nice to her. After all, she is a person of high value in your life. She has power over your survival value.
So Smile. Don’t fake it, because authenticity is important for those of us with less gifted acting talents. While you are genuine in seriously seeing the positive qualities of this person, the little noise inside your head gets a little louder. “What is that, you say?”
Id: “If you had the power to stand on your own, would you be being nice to his person?”
Me: “Of course not. I would hate them”
Id: “But you are being nice to them, because it is helpful to your survival value”
Id: “Is that what it means to be a ‘Professional’?”
Me: “I suppose. If you want to climb this particular ladder, which most people in this world are climbing along with you”
Id: “Is that what you want to do? Be nice to people at work so you can ascend up this ladder?”
Me: “No. I want to go beyond and rise above the poverty of the mind to serve those not worth serving”
Id: “But you need them for now”
Id: “So you put in just enough effort to get by”
Me: “I don’t know”
Id: “You’re lying to yourself”
Me: “On my current trajectory and the way I am, (My inner core), I am unable to ascend to this level. Somethings has to change.
Id: “Something bad?”
Me: “Perhaps. Hopefully not. Hopefully there can be something motivating that triggers ambition”.
Id: “There is one thing…”
Me: “Yes. The emotion. Since I was a kid. Watching dad in the political side of the realm of this world”
Id: “Exactly. Channel that. Channel that anger and break free from these chains that bind you.”
Your Entourage is a key part of your long term social game. Who you hang with not only reflects social value, it is also the key to maintaining healthy and stimulating relationships. Your friends or group of very good friends reflect a large part of who you are.
Savoy has a very interesting thread on Attraction Forums (AF) about social circle game. He talks about “social trees” and “connectors”. A Connector is someone who is socially well connected and can introduce you to people. A Niche Value person is someone who may not necessarily have a lot of friends, but can get you access into something rare. For example, the bouncer at a club, the cashier at the bank, or the cheerleader in the math class who will introduce you to all her friends. A “social dead end” is the guy who you grew up with, who is a really cool friend, but has only 1-2 friends and cannot introduce you to any new social groups. A social “tree” is a micro-tribe, each with their implicit leader and followers and “culture”. In the Bay, for example, a lot of these groups say “hella” a lot, which I have never heard of on the east coast.
While these “value assessments” really defy what I believe to be true friendship, they are important to note as you build your social circle empire.
At the end of the day, it feels good to align with guys who share similar goals with you in life. You motivate each other, you make mistakes, and you learn. Take a look at the hit HBO show “Entourage”. Why is it so popular among guys? Sure, it is the dream about being an A-list movie star – but go beyond the surface and you will find that it subtlety conveys many men’s fantasies:
1. The adventure of moving to the wild west and making it big
2. Having your boys as “family”, no matter what happens, we stick together
3. Each member has his quirks and yet we still love them for it
4. Girls are simply things to enjoy, not obsess over. Family comes first
5. Being a leader in a group of nerds is worse than being the bottom feeder of a celebrity’s Entourage. I still remember Turtle’s quote from the pilot:
E: “Turtle, are you ever going to get laid without Vince? That’s the question”
Turtle: “Do I give a fuck? That’s the answer!”
6. Maybe you can have it all (?)
The original Secret Society post by TD. Read it. Write it. Internalize it.
by Tyler Durden
Tyler Durden talks about the secret world of the player.
Many guys will dislike this, because it implies that women are sluts and untrustworthy. Well, I can only speak from my experience and report back what I’ve seen. I’m also posting in a semi-satirical tone – I haven’t gone off the deepend….. yet…
A secret society exists. Around 52% of people on this earth are a part of it.
Of that 52%, 50% are women, 2% are men.
Of that 2%, 1% of those men are gay, the other 1% are players.
What I’m talking about is the sex secret society – and you are either *IN* or *OUT*.
SOME RULES OF THE SECRET SOCIETY:
1) Don’t talk about the secret society.
2) The priority of the secret society is to have perpetually good emotions in all members.
3) Create shrowds around the secret society, like “all men are dogs”. Hide the truth that women are far more likely to cheat than men.
4) If you are part of the secret society, you will never be denied anything at any point.
5) If you are not part of the secret society, you will scrap and beg for everything you get.
6) Communication in the secret society is less often verbal, and more often spoken through bodylanguage subcommunications, and verbal subcommunications that would only make sense to members. Any other way, and the 48% of men would pick up on it, and it would no longer be a secret.
7) At the first sign that someone who is not part of the secret society is possibly trying to pretend that he is, barate him with both love-rhetoric, and accusations of chauvanism and nit-witted-ness.
It’s OK to cheat on someone who is not a part of the secret society, so long as it is for the purpose of fulfilling the needs of someone who is, or if it to fulfill your own needs and it is with someone who is a part of the secret society. Sleeping with a rare guy from the secret society is no worse than grinding with a girlfriend at a club and making out with her. “It doesn’t count”.
9) Nobody judges eachother in the secret society. There is no such thing as a slut. A slut is only as slutty as people who are NOT in the secret society are aware of.
10) Secret society members COME FIRST. If someone in the society is not having fun with an interaction, it is cut off. Conversely, if a secret society male is with a non-secret-society male, and a secret society female (all females) decides she wants sex from the secret society male, the friend of the female may have sex with the non-secret-society male, because EVERYONE in the interaction must feel good. However, if the non-secret-society male is blowing himself out so badly that he makes the female member feel very bad emotions, then the secret-society-male must face the consequences of bringing negative emotions into the equation, and lose out on his privilege for sex in that interaction, until he ditches the non-secret-society male. Bear minimum requirements for non-secret-society males being grandfathered in with the male member, is that he not qualify himself or make anyone feel uncomfortable. Failing to meet those requirements, both are blown out.
WHAT IS THE SECRET SOCIETY?
Women are repressed by men, and so must look out for themselves. They will take care of:
1) Their own sexual needs.
2) The sexual needs of anyone in the secret society.
3) The sexual needs of the few males who make the secret society possible (“players”).
The secret society is what allows women to appear wholesome and allows them to screen for a long term provider/emotionaltampon.
Women hold off to find the perfect boyfriend, while sleeping with a guy who is likely sleeping with all of their friends, and their friends friends.
They also fuck their gay boyfriends or jerk them off or give them head. They’re part of the secret society too, so they can’t be left out.
EYE WITNESS ACCOUNTS FROM SECRET SOCIETY INSIDERS (based on dozens of interviews I did over the summer, with girls in London England, as well as some from my own experience as a player):
1) If you tell a girl that you’re gay, and that you want to “see what it feels like to be with a girl”, she’ll sleep with you. She won’t insist on using a condom either, unless you do. You’re part of the secret society, where condoms aren’t necessary because they are logical entities and not emotionally relevant.
2) If you subcommunicate that you are a part of the secret society, and tell the friend of your target “I’m really lonely. My girlfriend cheated on me, and I need to re-validate myself tonight”, she’ll tell her friend to fuck you. Her friend will realize from this that you are a part of the secret society, and she’ll fuck you. Moreover, if the friend refuses, the ugly girl will offer you a blowjob to help you out.
3) If you manage to verbally subcommunicate that you are a member (its still subcommunication, because the verbal ways you communicate it aren’t direct at all), the secret society members will gladly tell you all about their sexual exploits and adventures. As soon as you subcommunicate that you desire romance, she will immediately retract all of her previous statements (and she’ll look completely congruent doing so), and downplay them that it was something she did just one time and that she’s looking for a relationship.
PUA: “I love to go out and hook up. I hate it when girls try to run my life”..
HB: “Me too.. I hooked up with guys all last year.. My boyfriend tried to control me, but I do what I want.. My girlfriends all do it too.”
PUA: “Really? Cause to be honest, I’ve always felt like I’m a romantic guy.. And girls always cheat on me.. I want to find a girl who won’t cheat.”
HB: “I would never cheat. Guys are dogs. I’m always loyal.”
PUA: “But didn’t you say…”
HB: “No, I said nothing.”
PUA: “No, you said that you don’t let your boyfriend control you and you do what you want.”
HB: “No, I didn’t mean that. I’m not a slut. I have no idea what you’re talking about, I didn’t say that.”
4) If you are a member, and say that you are really lonely and you need someone to snuggle and makeout with, all members of the secret society will agree to do so with you. If you are a girl, you have privilege to snuggle and kiss and sleep in the same bed as all other girls. If you are gay, you can do the same. If it escalates to sex, its an accident and does not count. If you’re a player, and you make girls around you emotional, and the friends are all in good emotions about it, they sleep with you. No one is a slut in the secret society, because the secret society does not judge.
5) If a group of girls living together find a guy who is in the secret society, they will all fuck him. They’ll recommend him as an honourary secret society member, and enjoy him. Meanwhile they may be in relationships with non-secret society members that they’ve fallen in love with, however this is not an issue because nobody in the secret society judges and sex with people in the secret society does not count. If you are a secret society member now, but in the past enjoyed a romantic relationship, what you may not realize is the part that was left out of the romance novel story (due to rules no1&2 of the secret society code), which was that after you dropped her off your romantic star watching, a secret society member came by and fucked the shit out of her without a condom and gave her the money shot all over her face.
6) If a secret society male has a non member male friend, the friend of the girl who wants sex from the male member will have sex with the non-member even if she doesn’t like him. However, rules state that if if the non-member is “creepy/scary” (kinos too much, leans in too much, asks dumb questions, tries too hard to impress, overqualifies), then the male member will be expected to return either alone or with another male member. Also, the male members must remember that positive emotions are always priority, and if he is alone he must still maintain the positive emotions of the female member who will not be getting sex, secret society rules not to be breached. Number 1 rule of the secret society, outside of not talking about it, is that EVERYONE maintains GOOD emotions.
THE UNDERLYING MISUNDERSTOOD TRUTH OF THE SECRET SOCIETY:
The 49% of men who live outside of the secret society don’t understand the mental model of attraction of people who are in the secret society.
Men view attraction in their MALE MENTAL MODELS. They believe that attraction is “sexual aggression”. They understand attraction as having a physical urge to have sex, and then mentally deciding that you will go after it.
They try to seduce women by touching and grabbing them, and getting them very horny. They try to seduce them in the SAME WAY that a woman would do well seducing THEM. They try to seduce them as if they were seducing a GUY. This sometimes works, and the propaganda is spread – “this is how to get chicks”.
Secret society members will not fill them in, due to breach of the code.
What the secret society members are not telling you, is that they understand that most sex occurs when women are not sexually AGGRESSIVE, but sexually RECEPTIVE.
They understand that for women to be ready for sex, they need not feel horny, they need only feel EMOTIONAL.
They understand that women are not logical, and that they are emotional. They understand that for women sex is not a big deal at all, and that its their LOGIC that puts the breaks on it.
They understand that most women are afraid of sex because they lack TRUST, and because their LOGIC is putting on the breaks.
They disarm logic by making the women EMOTIONAL, so that their LOGIC (which is the BREAKS of emotion) becomes disarmed, and at the same time maintain TRUST, so that the emotions generated won’t be interfered with.
Then they simply have sex, because although the women are not WANTING sex, they are too EMOTIONAL to DECLINE sex. Then, once they BEGIN to have a physical interaction, the women become horny and sexually aggressive as a result, and sex begins.
(NOTE: This is why girls must COCKBLOCK for eachother. Because they know that clubs are emotionally charged environments, and that it wouldn’t take much for a guy to use her resulting sexual receptiveness to lay her. The guy may not be a guy that the girl would lay normally, were she feeling more logical, so the girls must look out for eachother. Guys don’t need to do this because firstly, they will not be judged for sleeping around (no logic), secondly, they are sexually aggressive – not receptive – so their decisions will not be regretted later usually, and thirdly, because they do not need trust because they are not usually in any physical danger).
They also understand that value + trust + attraction = sex (rough lazy model).
Value = being someone in the secret society (it can also be SO many other things, but being a member can in some cases be sufficient)
Trust = not telegraphing interest
Attraction = increasing her buying temperature by making her emotional (emotionally aroused, not necessarily physically aroused.. the former will cause her to be too illogical to prevent you from causing the latter, when she’s ready)
Don’t tell anyone about this. All knowledge will be denied and you will be ridiculed.