LL Cool J

Actually stands for “Ladies Love Cool James”. In his single, Loungin’ (Who Do You Love Remix) there were pieces of wisdom as it relates to pick up. See if you figure it out by listening to the lyrics again. It is story about a true player / ladies man knows how to please a woman. He doesn’t compensate for his other lack of qualities with money. The moral of the story? A woman needs love:

[LL Cool J]
Jew-als and Cristal gotta mack a phony style
He ain’t watchin you he rather watch his money pile
Can’t protect treasures when its in a glass house
Soon as he turn the corner I’ma turn that ass out
Full blown, frontin in the 6 wit the chrome
Yo B, why you leave your honey all alone wit me
Just because you blessed wit cash
doesn’t mean your honey won’t let me finesse that ass
So see the moral of the story is a woman need love
The kind you so-called players never dreamed of
You gotta try love, can’t buy love
If you play your hand then it’s bye-bye love

[Chorus]

[LL Cool J]
So what you got the cash flow and escro, damn
But your honey ran away like presto, ala-kazam
Man made the money, money never made the man
You still fakin jacks throwin rocks on her hand
See, you put your mack down now you Nino Brown
Rock roller wit’ so much ice your cap’s polar
I got em smokin beanies, modelin bikinis
Pushin ya whip on the freeway to see me
I keep it steamy, I make it burn when it’s my turn
Teachin shorty all the tools that you neva learned
Don’t get it twisted, gettin money ain’t wrong
But she wanna make love all night long, I’m gone

[Chorus]

PU and Marketing

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say,”I’m fantastic in bed” That’s Direct Marketing.

You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says,”He’s fantastic in bed” That’s Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say,”Hi, I’m fantastic in bed” That’s Telemarketing.

You’re at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say,”By the way, I’m fantastic in bed” That’s Public Relations.

You’re at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says,”I hear you’re fantastic in bed” That’s Brand Recognition.

You are at a random party and see a gorgeous girl. You seem to recognize her from somewhere but you can’t quite put your finger on it. As she approaches, she whispers your name, “This must be fate. Let’s do it again”. That’s Customer Loyalty.

The Economics of Gold Digging

The following story is currently making the rounds on the Internet. Follow the link to read the whole article:

Supposedly, a woman posted the following personal ad on Craigslist:

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25-year-old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least [a] half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a businessman who makes average around 200 – 250K. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000K won’t get me to Central Park West. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

– Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms.

– What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings.

– Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?

– Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the Upper East Side so plain? I’ve seen really “plain Jane” boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the East Village. What’s the story there?

– Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows — lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

– How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY.

Please hold your insults — I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them — in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.