Recently a good friend of mine brought to my attention that my “score” may be lower than what I say it is. When people ask me, I say, “I stopped counting after 30, because it doesn’t matter to me anymore”. And honestly believed it to be true. I recently wrote the “list”, and here’s my final tally as of 15 minutes into it. I am counting every “insertion” or “happy ending” for me as “1″:

“Honesty is not a human default. It must be sustained as a virtue

1. M. First girl. She was a virgin too. I was 23.
2. Kansas girl. Ended up being my first girlfriend for 1 year. Taught me a lot about sex.
3. Drunk Korean Girl – ONS
4. Slutty Emily – She sleeps around and is open about it. Lives in my apartment. We hooked up a few times
5. Hot Club Asian Girl in Vegas – ended up being 2nd GF for 8 months
6. Campbell fat girl With Shogun
7. Chubby Blonde Royalty’s house
8. PhD Stanford German Girl
9. SF Mall girl ONS – wanted LTR, I said no.
10. Chubby Blonde foursome
11. Stanford catalogue model girl – one time hand job. Wouldn’t fuck me said she had a boyfriend in Singapore
12. Brunette MILF – came over to my house after breaking up with her BF
13. Brazil girl handjob at house party
14. Vegas girl – my first black girl
15. SJSU Girl Blowjob
16. Stanford PhD girl
17. Stanford undergrad girl
18. Chubby artist San Jose
19. J Ms. Independent

This is not counting:

• 2 hookers
• a few girls I forgot
• Make out sessions or girls I’ve gotten half naked, but never “fucked”

So, now that the data is clear and the truth is on the board, looking forward to #20.

This is an important question to answer for any man who chooses to travel in a path of his own choosing. As I started asking my friends this question, I realized that most people haven’t really even thought about it.

In this post I will share my dreams with you.

Our dreams are derived,  I think, from our subconscious and the respective influences when we are growing up. Things that we realized that we really wanted to do.

Angeal tries to impart valuable knowledge to the young Zack Fair in Crisis Core:

For me, I always wanted to be a businessman. I saw my dad’s life in the diplomatic services, and although he had a lot of power, money did not go hand in hand. I also saw bureaucratic processes that didn’t fit with my innovative thinking. I believed that in business, the power of the market and supply and demand would ensure fair trade of skill and talent in the marketplace. To this day, I still believe this, although I am more jaded. I also wanted to be in the US because it was the one place where government corruption was at least kept in check and that a relatively fair market system allowed entrepreneurs to become whatever it is they wanted to be.

From a seduction viewpoint, I always wanted the skill to get the girl that I want. I’ve achieved some semblance of this, although it still takes me 2-3 weeks of consistently going out to get a full close or find a girlfriend. To me, having the mastery of understanding women and how to talk to them allows me to possess the freedom from fear of losing a girl. Most guys fear that they won’t find something better. I believe that any solid relationship requires the people in it to make decisions based on the dynamic of the relationship, instead of fear of the future. Any guy who doesn’t have this option will always betray his loyalty to himself, because he will sacrifice putting up with “good enough” when the fear keeps him in check in a mediocre relationship.

Mystery and Matador Demo for the boys in Season 2 of The Pick Up Artist

Besides from cold approach, my dream was always a mixture of business and women. I dream of owning an amazing house and mansion. In this house, everything that makes me, my family, and my friends happy exist. People come and go, and we live in harmony. We throw amazing parties with the hottest girls around, and I am the host. I have options with girls, however I am in love with the one that complete me. I have social value that I can pass around to those I care about, and I am able to provide a social center gravity for fun, sex, and the freedom of being for all my friends. That’s my dream. At least, one of these parties, before I die. Even if we have to “rent” everything and pay girls to be there, some semblance of achieving this, I believe, is a part of my destiny.

Example of Playboy Mansion Halloween Party:

So what are your dreams? What is the one thing you want to do with your life before you die? Think about it. Talk about it. Post it.

• Business is easy, managing people is hard
• Entrepreneurs create jobs, they don’t need jobs
• The difference between a business person leader and a self-employed entrepreneur is the ability to lead teams
• Under pressure, the code becomes clearer. Sharper. Calmer. In support of each other
• Our mission: Elevating the financial and relationship well being of humanity
• Google: To organize the worlds information and make it universally accessible and useful
• Living your own business life
• Never abandon your teammate in need.
• When a code is established, do it early on when the heat is off.
• Under pressure, the team with the strongest code survives. I.e. Military men under fire still need to stay calm and work as a team.
• My own father used to tell me, “always be at least 5 minutes early. This gives you time to prepare and think, and you will be more equipped to take advantage of opportunities and avoid mistakes. Remember the 5 minute rule, son.”

My own code of honor to myself:

1. Be honest about my own desires, fears and feelings towards life.
2. Be on time. 5 minutes prior to meeting. If not, always let the other person know.
3. Don’t over promise.
4. Don’t mislead people.
5. Treat people with respect, even if they are mean to you. Retain your position of calm and high value without becoming an asshole.
6. Always be willing to take calculated risks to achieve my dreams. Taking risks in turn is less risky over time than those who never dare to do anything great.
7. Appreciate talent and people around you.
8. Doubt yourself and question your existing assumptions, but never doubt yourself for too long.
9. Be willing to fight for what you believe in.

Here’s a video from Final Fantasy Crisis Core and the story of Zack Fair. Warning: Spoiler alert if you have never played that game, or Final Fantasy 7 (originally on the PS)

One of the key business lessons I learned was to focus on your strengths, and try to neutralize your weaknesses in the most efficient way possible. Spending life worrying about what you’re not good at is just painful and not much fun.

Ironically, that’s what school teaches us to do. Raise your grades! Be good at everything. Stay quiet and behave. In the real business world, leaders are born from leveraging their strengths and being able to see the strengths in other team members.

Instead, school puts social pressure on us to become best students. When I was in undergraduate business school, the best kids who started their own businesses didn’t have the highest GPAs. They maintained average Bs while they worked on their side businesses. A close friend of mine to this day, EH made and sold a website about student ringtones for $50,000 his junior year. His GPA was around 2.8 / 4.0.

So how to do find out what we are good at? Many management consultants have tried, and business books such as Strength Finder 2.0 and personality tests attempt to answer the question via large scale surveys and measurements.

Well, for me, one of my original inspirations came from a professor in college. Here is my recollection of the story of how I came to become the entrepreneur I am today:

It was a sunny day in May, near graduation time. I was a senior, and was acing my way through Global Marketing. I enjoyed the class, and I always thought our case studies of international markets were amazing. One day, Professor Jeannet asked me to stay after class. I thought I was in trouble.

Me: “Hi Professor”

Prof J: “Hello there”

Me: “I’m sorry I’m always 5-10 minutes late for class. I can come in earlier next time!”

Prof J: “I don’t care about that”

Me: “Oh. Ok…”

Prof: “R, you have a gift.”

Me: “…?”

Prof J: “You have something that is unique to you, and it will become very valuable when you graduate and get into the real world.”

Me: “What is it professor? I don’t quite understand”

Prof J: “You have a strategic mind. Your insights in class on the case studies are great. Your father was a diplomat, right?”

Me: “Yes!”

Prof J: “Your experience helps you see things differently, but that’s not it. It is the way your mind works when you think about business cases. Strategically, you see the big picture. This will be very useful in big corporations and with people that need vision in the business world.”

Me: “Thank you Professor”

Prof J: “That’s all. Don’t waste it. Let me know if I can help you with anything before graduation”

I didn’t think much of it at the time, but a few months later, I became the youngest project manager at management consulting firm located near New York. I had left my Boston school life and one day, after work, our CEO walked me into the bar because I wasn’t old enough to get in! (I was 20 at the time)

Chris Rock says in his skit,

“A job is a 9-5 thing you can’t wait to get out of… you’ll be in the bathroom and it stinks but you still don’t want to go back to work”

“A career – on the other hand, there’s never enough time. People with jobs hate on people with careers”

I would add to that and say, a “calling” is what you were born to do. A career can be forced by developing our weaknesses and strategically going after a “high paying” job. Many of my friends did this by going into finance after graduation. There are no lies in a calling. It simply is. The person becomes the human embodiment of those values and beliefs. The crocodile hunter would quality as such.

My work in strategic consulting was taxing on the body, but I realized that I had a natural ability to see things strategically. My insights helped out clients tremendously, although I did have weaknesses in paying close attention to and remembering details. That said, forcing me to do math and excel spreadsheets helped me develop an UN-natural competency in business analytics and extreme attention to the details. Just like my Chinese teachers, who hit us with a crisp bamboo stick once for every point we missed from the perfect score of 100, you learn to get good very quickly, even if you suck at it J

Thus, my math skills are significant, considering that I do not have a natural talent for it.

I would categorize a level of success in any profession of these 3 things

1)      Your strengths – what are you born to do? What are you better at than anyone else? What talent has God given you? What are some memories from your childhood that standout, when you were able to use a skill you had to get out of a tough situation, or to lead a team and do something you never thought was possible?

2)      Your competencies – these are the skills you develop to have “street cred” in the profession and are required for success. For example, as an online marketer, you must understand email marketing, affiliate sales, and web analytics. You need to know the basics of hosting or find someone who does this for you. Even if you have an employee, you need to know the general framework of how websites work. If you are not naturally good at this, you can still leverage your strength in “people – skills” while mastering these “core competencies” of the trade.

3)      Certain people and CEOs have the necessary resources to hire the right people for the right role, and not think about it. Vincent Chase is good fictional examples of a movie star who handles none of his own business and lets his manager Eric do the rest. But if you consistently do this as a leader, you will always be at the mercy of other people. Marilyn Monroe suffered such a fate when she trained with Natasha L., who became her constant comfort from over medication. A sick dependency developed until she was able to find another acting coach in Lee Strasburg in New York. There’s a certain freedom to knowing the skills of your craft, even if you are not naturally good at it.

Think about your natural gifts and how often you make use of it in your day-to-day life. Post your thoughts, comments and strengths below.

Press or no press, the timing and death of Norma Jeane added to the mysteriousness of her long recorded addiction to sleeping pills. Another star of the Fox studio in the 1940s was Elizabeth Talor. When she died in March 23rd of this year, the press coverage was minimal. Seeing a once beautiful girl age and slowly grow old perhaps takes the idealization of the sex goddess away. But reality sets in, and one must wonder if living life is a lot harder than simply dying. My lesson from Marilyn’s biography was her ability to charm. Her oscillating contrast of superwoman and vulnerable girl, and her ability to smile for the cameras and light up a room in her “fantasy”-creating mind, despite her ongoing, clinical depression.

The Beautiful Yet Vulnerable Marilyn (Norma Jean)

Another issue is that of wealth. The estate of Marilyn Monroe only had $4000 in her name when she died. Her estate started making money from her work and in 1977, finally paid her mother Gladys the money she promised from her will, years after her death in 1962. Wealth is the ability to make money and create money, while having all that you need. Simply spending everything you earn does not make you rich. Rather, making more than enough money and maintaining this stability for your needs and to make you happy – that, to me, is wealth.

“This is the story of a girl named Norma Jeane Mortensen. She thrived despite seemingly insurmountable obstacles and almost impossible odds. She created and became a woman more fascinating than even she believed possible. And in the face of her own failinga mind, she battled to keep that creation alive – not for her, but for us.

Indeed, Marilyn Monroe did exist. Even through the woman insider her was at times doubtful of that fact, we knew it better than she did. She spent so much of her energy, her own will, projecting an image of impossible beauty and ultimate joy. Yet, as the end neared, her experience of who she truly was drifted farther and farther from that ideal – until she found it impossible to pretend anymore. Her choice, as awful as it may have been, was this: Admit to the world that Marilyn Monroe had become nothing more than smoke and mirrors, or die. On August 5th, 1962, Marilyn Monroe gave the world all she had left to give – the knowledge that she was, and always would be… ours.” – J. Randy Taraborrelli

Of these came the stories of Bruce Lee. From Bruce Lee: The Celebrated Life of the Golden Dragon (John Little) struck a particular chord with me due to its exclusive pictures that were provided by Linda Lee Cadwell

A Bruce Lee Interview:

Here are some quotes from the story that I related to my own life. Bruce’s philosophy regarding how to train in martial arts also apply to learning pick up, and any skill, for that matter.

A really trained, good actor is a rarity nowadays – that demand the actor to be real, to be himself. The audiences are not dumb today, an actor is not simply demonstrating what one wants others to believe he is expressing. That is mere imitation or illustration – but it is not creating – even through this superficial demonstration can be “performed” with remarkable expertise.

Pickup Translation: A really trained, good seducer is a rarity nowadays – that demand the artist to be real, to be himself. The girls are not dumb today, an artist is not simply demonstrating what he wants her to believe he is expressing. That is mere imitation, but it is not relating, even through imitation can be performed exceptionally well.

Some martial artists are now going to Hong Kong to be in movies, they think they can be lucky, too. Well, I don’t believe in pure luck. You have to create your own luck. You have to be aware of the opportunities around you and take advantage of them. Some guys may not believe it, but I spent hours perfecting whatever I did.

Pickup Translation: Don’t rely on luck or circumstance. You should be able to create your own pickup situations. You have to be aware of the opportunities around you and take advantage of them. Mastery takes years of practice.

Believe me that in every big thing or achievement there are always obstacles – big or small – and the reaction one shows to such obstacles is what counts, not the obstacle itself.

Yes, there is a difference between self-actualization and self-image actualization.

[What Bruce said]

I know we all admit that we are intelligent beings; yet, I wonder how many of us have gone through some sort of self-inquiries and/or self-examining of all these ready made facts of truths that are crammed down our throats ever since we acquired the capacity and the sensibility to learn?

Pickup Translation: Don’t accept the traditional teaching methods as the only truth. Find your own truth.

The important thing is that I am personally satisfied with my work. If it is a piece of junk, I will only regret it.

Pickup Analogy: If more gurus focused on the artform, more progress can be made in the seduction community.

To bring the mind into sharp focus and to make it alert so that it can immediately intuit truth, which is everywhere, the mind must be emancipated from old habits, prejudices, restrictive thought process, and even ordinary thought itself.

Open your mind and free it of old beliefs and personal prejudices when learning.

One cannot “express” fully – the important word here is fully – when one is imposed by a partial structure or style…he becomes paralyzed within the framework of the pattern and accepts the pattern as the real thing. He no longer “listens” to circumstances, he “recites” his circumstances. He is merely performing his methodical routine as a response rather than responding to what is. He is an insensitized patternized robot, listening to his own screams and yells. He is those classical blocks; he is those organized forms; in short, he is the result of thousands of years of conditioning.

Pickup Translation: Whenever you stick 100% to one system, no matter how great it is (i.e. M3 Model), you are imposed by the very definition of that structure. The student can become paralyzed within the framework or refuse to think outside of that framework. He is performing methodically as a response rather than to what is.

Take for instance the boxer: he will probably criticize the fact the two fighters are too close to allow crispy punching room. On the other hand, the wrestler will complain that one of the fighters should crowd and smother the other’s “crispiness,” and thus be close enough to apply grappling tactics. So a split second between the above two statements, the boxer could have switched into grappling tactics when there is no crispy punching room. The wrestler, when out of distance, could have kicked or punched as a means to bridge the gap for his specialty.

For example, a MM student may be running unnecessary A1 and A2 routines, when a girl he meets already attracted to him at sight. Or, a Juggler and natural who can charm women, but lack the initiative and training to do cold approaches with the girls that they are truly interested in.

True observation begins when devoid of set patterns, and freedom of expression occurs when one is beyond systems.

My only concerns are for those who are conditioned and solidified by a partialized structure, with only routine efficiency, rather than freedom of individual expression.

To set the record straight, I have not invented a new style, that is, set within distinct form as apart from “this” style or “that” style. One the contrary, I hope to free my followers  from styles.

[What Bruce said]

Drilling on routines and set patterns will eventually make a person be good according to the routines and set pattern, but only self-awareness and self-expression can lead to the truth. A live person is not a dead product of “this” style or “that” style, he is an individual, and the individual is always more important than the system.

Pickup Translation: Practicing a particular pickup style will eventually make a person good according tot that style and that framework, but only self-awareness and self-expression can lead to the truth. A life person is never a direct correlation to a “style”, rather, he is a unique individual that is ever so different from the system.

Of this I am certain: superior performances in martial art will rest in the future development and not on many of the obsolete and outmoded training methods existing.

Really, there is no rigid form in Jeet Kune Do. All that there is is this understanding: If the enemy is cool, stay cooler than him. If the enemy moves, move faster than him.

Be concerned with the ends, not the means. Master your own manipulation of force.

Don’t be restricted by your form.

To me, ultimately, martial art means honestly expressing yourself.

The future of the seduction art lies in the lack of models and thinking outside of existing models. Don’t be restricted by what you think are limits. Ultimately seduction is really the art of expressing yourself.

A good martial artist does not become tense – but ready. Not thinking, yet not dreaming. Ready for whatever may come.

Pickup Translation: A good seducer does not become tense of nervous – but ready. He is not thinking, but not distant either. He’s ready for whatever may come from an interaction.

Because of styles, people are separated. They are not united together because styles became laws. But the original founder of the style started out with hypothesis. But now it has become the gospel truth. And people that go into it, man, become the product of it. It doesn’t matter how you are, who you are, how you are structured, how you are built, how you are made – it doesn’t matter. You just go in there and be that product. And that – to me – is not right.

But, if you do not have styles; if you just say: “Here I am as a human being, how can I express myself totally and completely?” Now that way, you won’t create a style because style is a crystallization, this way is a process of continued growth.

Pickup Translation: People argue in the community over styles and “schools of thought”. Why? We are all human beings focused on finding ourselves and the truth, and expressing it outwardly as to build a life and be in the relationships we choose to be in.

The word “superstar” really turns me off, and I’ll tell you why, because the word “star”, is an illusion, it is something – what the public calls you. You should look upon yourself as an actor. I mean you would be very pleased if somebody said, “hey man, you’re a super actor!” It is much better than “superstar.”

Pickup Analogy: don’t be fazed or starstruck by instructors. In the end, they are good coaches and (mostly) good people.

Ultimately, martial art is the expression of oneself.

Pickup Translation: Ultimately, any artform is the expression of oneself.

So therefore, my students are coming in and asking me to teach them – not so much how to defend themselves or how to do somebody in – rather, they want to learn to express themselves through some movement; be it anger, be it determination, or whatever. So, in other words, what I’m saying is that the student is paying me to show him, in combative form, the art of expressing the human body.

Pickup Analogy: students that come to study seduction may think they are gaining the tools to meet the women of their dreams, but really, the elite dating coach understands that the students simply wants to learn how to express himself to the world.

Through all of my children’s education will run the Confucianist philosophy that the highest standards of conduct consist of treating others as you wish to be treated, plus loyalty, intelligence, and the fullest development of the individual in the five chief relationships of life: government and those who are governed, parent and child, elder and younger sibling, husband and wife, and friend and friend. Equipped in that way, I don’t think they can go far wrong.

Even though I, Bruce Lee, may die someday without fulfilling all of my ambitions, I feel no sorrow. I did what I wanted to do. What I’ve done, I’ve done with sincerity and to the best of my ability. You can’t expect much more from life.

Rest In Peace, Bruce Lee.

Work. Office. Boss. Emails. Routine. Lunch. Get back home. Sleep. And the day starts all over again.

I did this for 3.5 years. I hate it everyday. I would find every opportunity to wiggle my way out of it, or to find an alternative to the path. I started building my own business, with a partner still in school. We succeeded in making some money, but it wasn’t enough.

Certain people can deal with the mundaneness of this routine, but I cannot. Yet, when push comes to shove, you need to money to put food on the table. You need it to survive.

A plan evolves to put your life in order. To put the life you were meant to live into action. As you travel on this path, things change, people change. You succeed at certain things, you fail at others.

Over the past few weeks, I have gone from pure Ecstasy to sometimes, the most painful feeling in the world. This type of pain I haven’t felt before, not even when I broke up with my last GF. It is the type of pain that feels like a black hole in your stomach, sucking the life energy from every direction. Your feet starts shaking and you are afraid. Afraid of losing the life that you have and the dreams you envisioned.

I started to push myself into action, because the depression alone would crush my soul. I sought help. I went to interviews. I went to see the founders of the startups of the Silicon Valley. There were supposed to be the Gods that I prayed to and worshiped for the last 7 years. As I journeyed along I realized that the Gods do exist, but they are merely mortals in the position of Gods. Their powers were controlled via their ability to motivate others and to organize process and information.

When I left Google I promised myself that I would always live life to my potential. And this has led me to my current journey.

Its not easy starting a company. In fact, its fucking hard. But I wouldn’t say it is harder than working the same mundane job. It is just different.

Recently, I met 2 mentors. Masters in their craft. One is Arash (Achilles). This guy oozes game and has incorporated pick up into everything he does. He sees no limitations where others do, and he is strong in many of the ways that I am not. Instead of criticizing others, he inspires. I am beginning to see the potential not just in pickup. I used to think that it is a “game” and once I mastered the “skill” i can goto a nightclub and get girls. Arash has taught me that this has to be part of your life. In addition to just “PU skills”, it extends beyond that. Having hot girls in your life, and integrate with our mission, your business, and your leisure time.

Another mentor of mine found me. Through pure luck or God’s grace, he is financially a master. He saw potential in me, and has offered me a chance to do something that I have always wanted to, with a very strong financial backing. He’s not a pick up master, but he’s a master investor. His previous businesses all took off, and he sees the waves that happen in business acquisitions and…. just understand how money moves around in the world and how to siphon it.

A 3rd inspiration is my friend EH. EH has always been an entrepreneur, but has suffered losses. Despite losing everything, his spirit remains strong and he sees this as a lesson. He has inspired me and he knows exactly what to say when he’s down. He makes me realize that wealth and love are mutually exclusive, and that today’s global world enables us to create the life that we want despite geographical and political differences.

Without these 3 people, I suppose my life would be in a deep depression right now. Instead, when I wake up these days I feel a strong energy from my gut. It radiates and makes the rest of my body and mind stronger. It feels like I can do anything. This energy fluctuates in strength over the course of the day, but it is generally there… as long as I am walking the challenging and difficult path I am supposed to be traveling.

3 days into my 1 week trip to Vancouver, my brother was already getting on my nerves. At first I was glad to see him. I was over-joyed to see him after so long. When I first saw him at the airport he had on a long trench coat and somewhat misplace shirt and his hair was the same. I greeted him and all went well. The next day we went shopping, and I did a makeover. I also demonstrated some sets and showed him how to talk to girls at the mall. He was really impressed. I wrote him a check for $600 for the week to cover his expenses of hosting me, although he wasn’t to thrilled about spending $330 on clothes at Zaras.

Anyway, my bro and I got along on day 1-2. I figured he’ll change eventually and if not, I can inspire him. I forgot how hard real change was (I took sometime too) and by day 3 my impatience got the best of me. I started thinking and noticing all the negative things about him: dirty, not clean, unclean room, white hair in places, smells bad (sometimes), badly dressed, forgets things, can’t drive well, not very smart (logically), made some big mistakes, thinks in negative patterns and always thinks its his fault. The list goes on. I am almost ashamed to say this but at one point I was thinking, “man my brother sucks he is so uncool. Shoot I have to spend a WHOLE week with him?”

That night I stayed up and sat against the frame of the bed and meditated. I thought about my brother and my situation and asked myself (and God) whether I was being fair to him.

*Note on God: I don’t usually talk about this but I believe in an infinite intelligence that governs the world at large. He has helped me at critical times in my life. I am unsure if he’s the Christian bible version of it, or the Zen light force of life energy, but I know he’s there.

The next few days, we generally got along. Day 3 was a compromise of sorts. He toned down what I called his “chirpi-ness” and I was more tolerant and less easily agitated. At one point in a restaurant, we asked a waitress if she has siblings. She said, “yes, we fought a lot when we were kids, but now that we’re all adults we get along just fine. I wish you guys would get along”.

A lot of things happened in the next few days, but I remember 2 days before I left, I took bro out to a “date” with a girl I met from salsa class while in Vancouver. She was super ADD but in a way very smart and very model-looking. Game is so much easier outside of the bay area, because of the ratio and also, most of the girls are extremely attractive in Vancouver for some strange reason.

On the date I tried to run escalation game, but my bro was just excited and genuinely interested in her. I wasn’t mad at him because it was my fault! I got bored with their conversation and then started chatting up other girls. Of course, the girl I met (I nicknamed her Energizer Bunny because she’s so hyper) is polite, but declined to meet me the next day. She knew I was trying to fuck her. In any case, we became friends after the trip when I came clean and thanked her.

In a way, I thank her and also my brother’s friends, and my brother. On this trip I realized many things about myself. Nietzsche once said:

Battle not with monsters, lest you become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

Yes, my brother was a bit “chodey” but he was genuine. He was a nice guy. He cared about people. He made sure he took care of me. Picking me up at the right times and always putting me first. I, by contrast, came off as an asshole and always seemed selfish, hell-bent on my own coolness and my own needs.

When I returned home, I sat in front of my computer and looked at my phone. And then I cried. I am not sure why but I think it was because I missed my bro and also, I cried at the kind of guy I have become, shedding away my “weaknesses” and “kindness” in pursuit of “alpha-ness” and game. In doing so, I have forgotten how to accept different people and connect deeper with others.

Coolness vs. Authenticity

The truth is, all the PUA stuff I have learned has made me cooler, but I have surface level interactions with many of my friends. “Pickup” friends only call when they want to go out. They don’t care if you’re sick and they’re not there when true friendship is needed, I think. This is also my fault, and I realized that my base interactions with people have been very surface-level.

On Advice

I gave my bro much advice, some of which I need to heed myself! Follow a fixed schedule and make serious decisions based on values you deem important. Do not procrastinate and move towards them. Be selfish to an extent, let the ego go away when you are learning new things.

Canadians vs. Americans

Canadians are nicer. They smile when they walk on the street, even downtown in Vancouver. They have a different “vibe” about the whole country. There are lots of Christians in Canada and students in Vancouver. One of the things I noticed is that the social conditioning is less aggressive. TV isn’t trying to sell you everything, and people have other hobbies outdoors and also the competition is less fierce. Yes, there are business “suits” walking around in the financial buildings, but there isn’t the idea that if you don’t make a lot of money, you somehow “worthless” or “worse” than some0ne else. In America, this is pervasive. Just getting on the plane, I realized that the lady announced 2-3 times “premier passengers please board… gets xxx treatment”.  The culture of the States if one of capitalism.

Is it better to be rich, or be happy? More people I met in Canada were genuinely happy. My brother and I saw a lesbian couple at the beach, and they so friendly and nice. We walked about politics and the state of the same-sex marriages and they were calm, collected, and enjoying the view from the beach. I think back to my days in the US and wonder: Have we got it all wrong?

Roughness

The border patrol was nice to me this time. The guy that stamped me was a burly all American guy. He was friendly and fair. I met another guy waiting for the train and he wasn’t so nice. Our “roughness” gives us an edge. New Yorkers can be deal with anything. We’re strong. Right? We survive. This “badass” attitude gives us character and allows us to do things. In many ways the US economy and pop culture media dominates much of the world, and I think this is one of the reasons. The positives of competition.

But in the same spirit, racism is more rampant and obvious in the US. In Canada, is simply does’t exist, or exists so slightly that most of it cannot be noticed. When I returned to the US, I was able to see little subtleties of racism that I wasn’t able to see before. For example, a white guy telling me that he thinks Asians all talk amongst themselves and pretend like they don’t know English (Stereotype) and a black guy turning to volume way up in the his car. Is that necessary? Have become to “alpha-wannabe” and to prove that we’re COMPETITIVE and STRONG that we’ve forgotten how to actually be happy? How to care about people without expecting something in return?

Canadian Girls vs. Bay Area

Sex ratios play a big part of the bargaining dynamics. In Vancouver, the girls were more stylish, hotter, and in a 6-4 female-male ratio. As such, approaches were met with warmth and open much more easily. On more than one occasion a girl looks at me and smiles! This rarely happens to me in the US, although I have been adopting a more friendly approach today and got 1 girl to smile back (out of 10)

Quality of girls (7-10), the 10 scale is skewed in the south bay. Most girls here are just not hot. In Canada, 7/10 of the girls you meet will be “hot”. By “hot” I mean I am physically attracted to them. Take this girl for example. Most of the girls I met were at this level. Out of 10 girls, 2-3 would look like her. 5-6 would be “hot” and totally cute. The rest are ok. Fatties were also in small quantities in Canada.

Travel Vibe adjustment

When you travel, your brain operates at a different frequency. I am aware of this and have factored this into account. Even with the high vibe and the lifestyle change, the girls in Vancouver were 1) cuter and 2) much more friendly and easier to game. As such, the level of game required in the bay area is significant. It hones our skills and makes us stronger. On a negative note, it can also deter newbies, and allow mediocre, 7 or 8 girls to act like they are 10s, when in reality, they are simply not.

Love vs. Lust vs. Friendship

Emotional Maturity came to me this time around and I realized on my flight back that I have been very selfish. I try to bang hot chicks all the time. Actually I went out with a girl in Canada, and I took my brother along. She liked him more! She was model-esque but she enjoyed my brother’s conversation and the fact that he wasn’t trying to fuck her. I was. In my mind its “gaming gaming gaming”.

All of my friends and interactions, I’ve realized since I got into game have been more or less superficial surface level. We don’t keep in touch outside of pick up, and this is started to gnaw away at my insides. What is the meaning of life if I can’t connect with people on a deeper level? Something is wrong when I can meet someone traveling in 30 minutes and feel like we have a deeper connection than the friends I have known here for years.

I forgot what it is like to be nice to someone, without expecting something back. This sounds so sad when I say it, but its true. I have strayed and became this asshole, kind of alpha-dominant but annoying guy. I don’t want to be this guy anymore.

The PUA community’s conditioning can be good in getting results and pushing you in a certain direction. However, I realized that most of us have failed to see the monumental effect of authenticity and genuineness, and that sometimes, you just have to be nice to someone because its the right thing to do. Let the “social value” calculations go. You’ll be more free and your game, ironically will get better.