Emotional Bullying and the Bully Boss at Work: How to Handle The Situation

This is a public service announcement post for those of you that are suffering from the abuses of a bad boss at work.

Workplace Abuse Data

Born from a personal hatred for people who abuse their power, I went on to discover that the statistics paint a pretty horrible picture as well at the work place:

• The Phenomena of “work place bullying and mobbing” is little known, which is surprising, since it affects 70% of working Americans at some time in their career.
• According to the Workplace Bullying and Trauma Institute, an abusive boss is more likely to be a woman than a man. Woman to woman bullying represents 50 percent of all workplace bullying; man to woman is 30 percent, man to man 12 percent and woman to man bullying is extremely rare — only 8 percent. Read more

Social Pressure, Staying Rough, Fun and Cake Face

Diamonds are made from intense pressure over time. Likewise, the greatest of humans are made from extraordinary circumstances. While we don’t like to feel like we’re in a predicament, those moments teach us lessons and make us make decisions that reveal who we really are to the world and to ourselves. Instead of staying “comfortable” and “safe”, make an effort to push out your comfort boundaries. That is the only way you are going to become better than you currently are. A couple of lessons over the past few weeks:

1. I was a salsa club and as usual danced and practiced my moves. On the way out I saw a guy named Leo. Leo was in a wheelchair. Despite this, he chatted me up and asked the bouncer if there was an elevator to get upstairs. “What happened?” I asked. He said, “Accident, years ago” and then changed the topic. It simply wasn’t important to him.

He proceeded to head up with a girlfriend of his. Though my encounter with him was brief, I thought to myself, “here I am worried about forgetting my steps to a routine. How selfish. At least I have legs that I can still walk on”. Then I thought about all the guys who complain about “game” being too hard, or girls being mean to them. These excuses seem lame and undoubtedly selfish when you see a guy in a wheelchair, having a better time than you. With nothing more than the strength and positivity of his thoughts. Read more

Raccoon Eyes Chick

Makeup trick of the year: The smoky raccoon eyes. No, I’m not talking about the Coon…

My Texan roommate: “yeah she was cute. Blond girl. One of those with really white skin. And those big black raccoon eyes” Read more

Chapter 5: Prison Break (I quit my job at Google today)

My resignation letter read as such:

Dear Google,

Breakups are never easy, and I wanted to write you a thank you letter in lieu of what I could not say to you in person. Over the past 3 and a half years you have assisted me in my continued growth both professionally and personally.

You made work easy by offering to feed me whenever I was hungry.
You gave me nice massages for a nominal fee.
When I was sick you gave me the time to stay home and recover.
You even did my laundry and washed my dirty dishes.

You showed me that work can be rewarding, and that people are by nature, good.
You showed me that it was possible to fight for a just cause, despite public opinion swaying the other way.
You showed me the kindness of those perceived strangers you call “Googlers”
Being with you also made me learn how to deal with high stress situations and achieving high goals, and I will take these lessons to heart on my journey.

Rarely, when some of your friends abused their power, (as is inevitable when you have so many friends) you consoled me with summer BBQs and teddy bears, though I know that you had no control over their day to day actions.

Most importantly I will remember all of the awesome friends you were able to introduce me to through your social circle. I met all sorts of amazing Googlers that I will continue to be friends with, even after our breakup.

I hope we can remain good friends as well, and I wish you the best in your future endeavors.
XOXO,

Signed.

On my last day, the goodbyes were easy to make, as I started at the eyes of my co-workers, some of them felt genuinely sad but happy for me. Others hid behind a general and fake politeness that detaches from authenticity. Even others, better friends of mine actually felt sad and “a little jealous” that I have the opportunity now to do my own thing. I felt fine. I felt like this was long overdue and I have actually stayed for too long.

Playing society’s game for 6 years, I have gone to a wide eyed college graduate to a more mature young man, who is jaded at the corporate game. The social programming that society has put in place to keep things stabilized. Play the game! Work the tough job! Win money for yourself! Buy the nice car! These are all short term fixes to true self esteem and core confidence.

Tyler Durden (RSD) on social conditioning and the state of advertising in this country:

Read more

Why Your Life is Depressing and Why Pickup is Good

In reading Authentic Happiness (Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment) today, I came across a passage by Dr. Martin Seligman that articulated the feelings i have had in the past few months. It also applied to our endeavors in learning pickup.

Dr. Seligman starts out by examining why, in the midst of the wealthiest time period in humanity’s history, human beings are as depressed as ever:

The sheer speed of modern life and our extreme future-mindedness can sneak up on us and impoverish ou rpresent. Alsmot severy tehcnological advance in recent times – from the telephone to the internet, has been about doing more and doing it faster… So invasive is this “virtue” that in even the most innocuous of social conversations, we can catch ourselves not listening well, but instead planning a witty riposte.

Another reason why the free hug campaign is so successful around the world: because we all want to belong:

Read more