Me: (With the greatest humility I can summon up) I am the best PUA I know. (Exceptions: DJ Fuji and Arash)

(A few hours later)

DJ Fuji: ?

Me: Just venting.

Me: No one I know is better than me. I have come to realize that getting good at game is my responsibility and mine only.

DJ Fuji: It was, is, and always will be.

I have gotten decent at game. In fact, I have gotten quite good. Nonetheless, there’s still so much more I need to learn. For the longest time, I have always thought that “running a pack” gives your tribe power and you can do more as a group. I believed this for a very long time. One of the negative drawbacks of the “tribe” metaphor is that you come to depend on it a little too much.

My mentality became, “Go out with other guys so all of you can get good”.  Well. This metaphor is no longer working for me. DJ Fuji was supposed to meet with me last October and we had a scheduling conflict. I have never seen him in field. His advice to me as a friend and his willingness to spend time helping me and others, even though I don’t give him any money is testament to him actually caring about his students instead of focusing on “money, money, money”. Also, there’s something about his background that naturally appeals to me. To me, he represents the game. A short Asian guy (also raised in traditional Chinese background) now actually teaching game full-time. Here I am, a tall, relatively good-looking tall Asian guy. If this guy can run game, well so can I, right?

Arash is the BEST PUA I have seen in field with my own eyes. His execution is flawless. At a well-know, upscale local restaurant, he gamed a beautiful waitress and he was able to repeat this every time we went out. In field, his delivery and his body language flows like that of a martial arts master. Yet everything he does appears natural and congruent. His girls are 9s and 10s, and many of them I have swore to myself I will one day learn how to get (not his specific girls, but girls that are of that caliber of beauty).

Arash has a girlfriend, and he doesn’t do many cold approaches these days. His gaming style involves being in situations that require the girl to approach him. Shopping stores, restaurants, hired gun game. His life is a constant stream of Hooters girls, HB9s at fancy restaurants, and girls he meets at his martial arts studio. He hasn’t always taken the time to instruct me on exactly what I am doing, however he has always been gracious in demonstrating his own level of game. Then again, I never paid him for 1-on-1 coaching.

Besides Fuji and Arash, a few naturals I know are quite good. One of them pulls DTF girls (not super good looking; but ok looking) on weekdays at a local bar. Another one is just naturally tall, good looking, and alpha at the same time. He’s fun to be around and due to this extreme height, party girls approach him at clubs asking him how tall he is. Girls are so original in their pick up lines aren’t they?

Another natural friend developed a social circle in downtown Palo Alto, and has a general system of pulling girls back to his place in the local bars there.  Another 19 year old natural pulls teenage girls left and right on campuses he visits. He lives with his parents and has no cell phone, only a pager. He is always running out of money, and often gets the girls he meets to pay for him or stays temporarily at their place. He’s sort of like Nikki in “Spread” (Ashton Kutcher)

Interestingly, most of my natural friends aren’t particularly rich. In fact, they usually have mediocre jobs and not a lot of money. Most of the “PUAs” I know work high end tech jobs here in the bay. They make decent money. Their game sucks.

I went out today on my own and did a few approaches. Same thing on Friday. I was able to have some great interactions with girls. I realized that my game is generally very smooth. I still make some mistakes here and there. Once I get going and hit my stride, I am very consistent in my delivery and my success ratio is quite high.

As scary as it is to go out alone, once you have that ONE great interaction with the girl, everything feels… amazing. You feel FREE. I felt free. I no longer needed anyone’s acclaim but my own.

In a way, it sort of feels like salsa dancing. You can be on the greatest salsa team in the world. And you can perform, and represent the team. The whole team can look good on stage. However, at the end of the day, can you, as a lead, dance with another girl and lead her properly? No one else can do this for you. Even the best coaches can only give you direction on the side. The power of YOU to dictate the immediate future of the tonality, frame, and emotions generated by your actions is INCREDIBLE. Once understood, we stop making excuses and allow ourselves to take full credit and responsibility for our pick up success.

My next step will be to build up a social circle of female friends, simply by solo sarging. If I can do this alone, I will have my own acclaim and no longer will I need the approval nor help of others. Furthermore, I expect that I will run into some other natural players on the way, and in building up such a lucrative circle, I will be able to offer them some value in return.

When Allen Shore first Met Denny Crane (The Practice):

I believe such a friend will come. In the meantime, I have been going out with a few newbies recently just to be out. I’ve been doing this cold approach thing on and off for 5 years now. I’ve done over 1000 approaches. I ‘ve gotten pretty good at cold approach game. I have also built a solid foundation in my social circle in the bay area. When I am giving you the common mistakes that newbies make speech, trust that I know what I am talking about.

Some of the common mistakes I have noticed are as follows:

1. The newbie is over eager and talks too much. They are excited and they speak and speak. This actually has a positive effect on opening, and they usually can do well in the first 5-10 minutes .Girls even laugh at some of their routines. This effect starts wearing off because he keeps giving value without asking for some type of investment from the girl. After the 7 minute mark, the mood changes and the girl realizes that he’s a dancing monkey. So they just laugh and enjoy the moment, and then scatter off. When asked for a number close, she rarely gives it outright. The correct way to give value without return is to talk about something interesting, then chat as if you were talking to yourself. Then, say goodbye and drift to another group. Instead, the newbie stays and keeps talking, amused that his material is actually getting acclaim. He fails to realize that HE is the one that must get acclaim. Attraction is tied to his identity, not his material.
2. The newbie doesn’t acknowledge his friend. Instead of giving his friend proper props, he continues to chat up the girl. Your wing-man is representative of your own value. You must treat him with respect. It is amazing to me how many guys totally forget their wing as soon as they are in “set”. At least give him a nod or shake and say, “give me 10 minute”
3. The newbie fails to hit a “hook” point, where the girl WANTS him to stay and talk to him. When he introduces me to the girls, the girls are SUPER Flakey and sometimes rude. In contrast, a good PUA or natural who introduces me to a girl introduces me in spades and the girl is super interested and gives me tons of credit. This is the difference between a master and a newbie. Masters don’t even introduce girls to me they don’t deem worthy. Newbies will introduce any girl they’ve just met to me. They see more value in the girl than they do in me. A man who has tons of girls will only introduce girls who exhibit good behavior to their best friends.

• We seem to be programmed to sexually desire different genetics. Sex desire is based on smell. Depending on the girl, sometimes he feels that his sexual desire is intense, while other times, mediocre. This is regardless of the girl’s looks and simply relates to the way she smells close up. Perhaps a biological trigger for us to mate with those that have a varied and complimentary gene set.
• As a really hot girl or a man of super high status, usually these people need time to build trust with the opposite sex.
• Having a girl already there creates social proof and additional comfort. Notice the following scenes and how he uses another female there as preselection and social proof in his interview process.

Lessons on How to Become A Better Lover

• Be gentle but firm in your approach
• Kiss her before you get sexual
• Touch her body all over and her breasts – most guys always forget this
• Think of the clitoris as a miniature penis
• Re-framing anal from painful and weird to fun, exciting and good feeling

Lesson 1. When people are stressed out, they behave in a very strange way. And they don’t realize it. When I came back from San Diego, I realize how stressed a person was from working all the time in Silicon Valley. They argued about things that don’t matter, simply for the sake of their own egos. Perhaps people that are working overtime need something to make themselves feel important, because they’re not living their lives that they want. In order to communicate clearly with these people, you must first understand them, listen, and connect with them in a way that doesn’t trigger the auto stressed responses.

Lesson 2. Being relaxed and free, usually lets out your “best self”. You’re in a relaxed state. I felt very confident and very calm at the same time. This is a great state to be in and to meet new people. This feeling you have that makes you think you can take on the world. Americans work hard. In doing so, we lose sight of what’s really important. The number of people I can quote from work that truly don’t listen, and push their own agendas, stacked up in the hundreds. And those are only people that I have met in my own career. Therefore, a man who is calm, unrushed, take the time to talk and listen, can create value to the corporations. Such a man is highly valued and will likely secure a position that rewards him as such.

Lesson 3. Interaction. Not good looks. Not money. Not even fame. Dress and control your own demeanor to inspire a more frequent and deeper level of interaction with other people, and this will drastically improve your success in a particular venue. For example, I remember a girl who dressed up as little red for Halloween and she was giving away a basket of lollipops. The guy stands in the middle of the road with a sign that says “free hugs“. The girl in the quirky dress and a necklace that says “drink me”. these people may not be the best looking for the most successful and life. But, and added that they own it because it would interact with the most people. The next time you go out to think about this for your style choices and your clothing attire.

Chelsea Korka with a necklace that's sure to get tons of attention

Lesson 4. Personality and charisma > Looks. We met an older black lady called Merry. Merry was fun. I first saw her giving a morning speech to the residents of the hotel about what to do in San Diego. She had her microphone on and she was prancing about off telling the funny stories about things they can do in San Diego. She was animated, funny, and you could sense, right away, that she was a helpful person. She made you feel like she wanted to help you. Merry also got us a two bedroom two bathroom suite will we only have a one bed one bath. She did this without extra cost to us. I saw in this woman, how to live life. There were a lot of older folks at the timeshare, and I always remember this one quote from Mary at the end of her speech. She said “go on! Live it like you mean it” followed by a long and hearty laugh. I thought about Merry and I thought about game and I realized that with an attractive personality with a deep conviction to living life you can supersede any physical and social limitation that people have on you. Such a statement is hard to describe with words alone. You have to experience it to understand. Thank you Merry for making our trip even more fun than it was.

Lesson 5. Depth Versus length. A lot of times we think about best friends and the ones that come to mind are the people that we have known for the longest time. But what if best friends can be made in a short amount of time? What would that relationship look like? At the San Diego zoo there were many majestic animals. But I remember this one camel the most. Here she was being fed by a little girl and her another girl with her boyfriend. They were picking out lemons from the tree and feeding it to the camel. The camel came up very close and took the lemon directly from her hand. I met several girls in San Diego that I didn’t spend a lot of time with but the memory is deeply imprinted in my mind. That was when I realized that an interaction doesn’t have to be long it just has to be meaningful.

In fact, it seems like these days that people can’t connect at a deeper level, with Americans being so “mainstream” and surface level. A man who can connect to another person’s soul is a rare and exciting find. Nothing real is ever lost — Tony Robbins.

Lesson 6. Blonde girls. I was so infatuated with blondes . Men in general, are. But in the bay area they seem to hold a premium. As they do in most of the this country. What about Sweden or Germany? In Southern California I met more blondes than I did in a very long time. And I started noticing that the more that I met the less important each one became. Instead of looking at her hair, I’m not looking her facial features to see if they match. I check on her body to make sure that it’s the right shape. Most importantly, we talked to a lot of them and they became less and less foreign. As a matter of fact, towards the end of the trip, I was looking for a blondes that was fun, down to earth, and had an easy personality. In a world full of blondes, the hair color stops being an issue and a look at the real things that make a girl fun, likable, and attractive to men takes place.

Lesson 7. Zen. Whether it was vacation vibe, or local differences, most of the girls I had long talks with, were very cool. By cool, I mean they were easy to be with. They were polite, even when they were not sexually interested in me. They carried the conversation when I ran out of things to say, and they were able to respond in a very natural way that made me feel like… it was easy to talk to them.

By comparison, some bitchy girls, and sometimes girls in the bay area, start talking about their jobs right away. The conversation stalls as if the car engine is broken. We restart the car a few times and seem to move forward but not really. I’m not sure if this is because of my energy, but the girls we met were more at ease and easy-going. As such, are looking for girls to fall in love with and have a good time, and it wasn’t about pickup anymore. It became about what I like about this person really, what their life is really like, whether we can make a connection. Once the doors opened, you get to see the house. She can’t even open the door, we never get a clear picture of what the house looks like.

Lesson 8. Moment of introduction. Josh and I met a few leaders were crashed by party at San Diego State University. I realized that the first few seconds of meeting someone, about 10 seconds or so, is the most crucial period. We are evolutionarily designed to place importance on introductions. This is probably because of our tribal nature. Whew meet someone from another tribe the first time, we usually give him the courtesy to introduce themselves. Ace on their introduction you get an initial assessment of that person’s social hierarchy for this shot. Further interactions will dictate whether or not this introduction is true. But for the most part, a proper and Sean introduction is the mark of a true tribal leader. Therefore your introduction, your first impression is the most important thing when you first meet someone.

Lesson 9. Strategic Command. I saw a documentary on prohibition at the hotel. They talked about the laws that went into effect and how Al Capone built his business empire on trafficking alcohol. What interested me was Al’s ability to organize groups of people and resources on a massive scale. He was very strategic and he was able to pinpoint the exact locations of how things worked. The law, the police force, and the people that were truly the access points to how things operated in America during his day. I don’t glorify his actions, but I do see a certain brilliance in the way he was able to organize specific groups of people to do specific things in the channel of process. And he wasn’t bound by what other people perceive as “normal”. He believed that public recognition could prevent them from going to jail, and for a long time he became the Robin Hood of his generation. Only did he mess up with the massacre of his enemies did the public start to doubt him. When he lost the public, he lost the war with the law officials. I believe now that there is an organized way to handle all our goals and we just have to keep testing and testing them. Certain people have a talent for this. I’m not sure if I’m the most strategic person in the world, but I do know that possess some semblance of this skill that God’s given me.

Lesson 10. Whatever you do, good things tend to happen from faster decisions. Forcing a decision, when indecision is taking place, tends to be the mark of a leader. True, sometimes wrong decisions can be made that are critical. And I think the important decisions should be made quickly. But the truth is, most of us put off decision making and we don’t make the tough decisions that we need to make. As a result we experience short-term comfort, but long-term pain from indecision. Examples of this include me wanting to stay at Google when I would have quit a long time ago. I was afraid of what other people might think of me and of missing the boat. The truth was I wasn’t happy there for a long time. I was afraid. Fear seems to be related to the indecision. Decision is derived from and spawns action. We know that the strong momentum of action is critical to achieving anything in life.

Lesson 11. Chill out. Taxi drivers are notorious for their honking and rushed driving. But even cabbies in San Diego were very clam and collected. Very rarely do I hear any honking in downtown San Diego. In contrast, I hear people honking in the bay all the time. Someone is late for work, or someone has a short fuse on how other people should drive. We seem to always be in a hurrying!

Ironically, I think people that always don’t have enough time, are misguided and are not making the decisions that they really need to make. And avoiding the critical questions puts them in a position where they are missing the focus and always running out of time doing less important things that “don’t matter”.

So next time, chill out, take a walk, try to see yourself as outside your body looking at yourself. Does this new perspective give you the freedom to make a different decision? Can you disengage from your autopilot responses and do something that you normally wouldn’t do but is good for you?

For reasons I won’t get into here, I had a fight with my travel-mate and we ended by splitting  ways on the trip and I ended up at the Grand Hyatt hotel in downtown San Diego. “I’m on my own now”, I uttered to myself as I packed up and drove to the hotel.

The whole experience taught me that I was stronger than I thought and I am able to do many great things on my own. I felt free. I felt fearless. It didn’t start out like this. Actually at first, when you go out alone it is extremely difficult. But then you learn that it doesn’t matter and that your state and interactions are all that matter. You learn that you and you alone control your interactions, reactions and the way you walk through the bar. The way you walk through life. While spending the 2nd half of the week in San Diego, I ran into some interesting scenarios:

Crashing a frat party with Josh

I met this PUA Josh on the San Diego State University campus. We saw about 20 girls dressed in sun dresses and decided to follow them. They turn a corner and then disappeared. 5 minutes later we hear a loud cheer from within the apartment building. “OK, we have to get in” I said to him and we agreed. I didn’t have the nerve to do this myself but for some reason when I was with Josh, we both pushed each other forward. We jumped in an open back door, and another students held the door for us to the 4th floor. From there we followed the sound of the party and arrived in a middle section of the apartment complex. Girls EVERYWHERE. 20 college girls. 6 guys. We open the door and we walk towards the party. It was quite a moment. Josh opens a group of girls and I walk up. As soon as we got to the girls the frat guys came up an said, “who are you guys and how did you get in?”

“I’m on vacation and I’m with him” I said. The frat guys ask Josh and he makes up that he knows another guy in the frat at UCSC. The head frat guy says, “you guys have to leave” and ushers us to the door. The whole experience was quite funny. Lessons learned:

• Have a better story if you want to crash frat parties.
• Befriend guys in your local frat – they have sorority and frat exchanges that end up with a high concentration of college girls.
• Do your research, know the frats symbols and greetings, and you can always say you’re visiting from another school.

Walking Pacific Beach and meeting a cool girl from Switzerland 

I met this cute girl from Switzerland while walking on the beach. She was very friendly and although our interaction was short she keeps texting and we have kept in touch via Facebook. It just goes to show that you never know what’s going to happen. So, don’t let your own preconceptions of what a girl wants dictate your reality. The truth is that people have different views of the world and girls can be on different points in their lives.

Success from going out alone and meeting a group of 3 girls who were into me

I had a very successful night where I spent two hours with a group of two very attractive Spanish girls. The conversation went well and I was able to get her alone, where she was leading me with her hand headed to the bathroom. Unfortunately there were two other girls in the bathroom and she felt shy and I ended up waiting outside. When she came out to she took my hand and we went into the elevator to leave. Her other friend met an ex-boyfriend and she decided to go with him. The girls had a quick chat face each other, and then my girl decided to come home with me. As I was in the car I run a kiss gambit asking her how good she was as a kisser. By her expression I knew it was time to pull the trigger so I kissed her. The makeup session lasted until the taxi arrived at my hotel at the Hyatt. She then said to me that she had a boyfriend and she was seeing him the next day. I tried running some game and saying she’d be safer if I drove her home, but she didn’t bite So I left and said ‘call me’.

Despite everything, my natural friend did teach me some things about being able to pull. Pull game is different than the game I know now, which is conversational flirting game and social value. I think the ability to sexually escalate, is the mark of a true man. As such, any respectable seducer should be able to mentally and physically arouse a woman to the point where she wants to go home with him. No lifestyle, No leveraging social value, no flagrant display of wealth, just pure game and their perceived value from that night. The ability to PULL, actually, just by presenting oneself as an attractive man for that night is key to becoming a great PUA.

Learning to speak for myself

When you travel alone, you tend to learn to speak for yourself. A lot of times what we get used to be accommodating for friends and thinking of others that are traveling within our group. But this accommodation, left unchecked soon turns into laziness. And we stop thinking for ourselves and we defer decisions to others. For example, a waiter was asking me whether or not I liked a certain type of wine . Normally I would just on nod my head and say okay. But this time, I wanted to taste it first, since I was paying for it and it was my meal.

Pacific Beach at night with a relatively new PUA

I met a fellow PUA out on Wednesday night, who wasn’t as young as I was. He was in his 40s, and he was very very nice. Had a good chat with him and he had a lot of life experience to share. At first glance, people may not think he’s the coolest guy in the world, but I remember what Tony Robbins said: if you judge someone you can’t help them. So I set about going out with him and actually having success with girls. To my surprise, he actually wasn’t that bad. He was very calm, smooth, and good at holding his stance with his body language. We ended up having a good night in Pacific Beach.

Chatting up girls on Venice Beach

On the way back, we stopped by LA’s famous Venice Beach. What a unique collection of people.

I met a lot of cool people here, all my own. My travel mate wanted to walk further down the beach, and not pickup. But I wanted to meet people. I wanted to improve my skills and wanted to expand my view of the world by talking to others. Before, I used to expect everyone to have this viewpoint. But now I understand, you can’t force someone to pickup with you. Some people just like to do their own thing, as do I.

Brotherhood of seducers?

Everywhere I go, I am able to meet up with other PUAs. You would think that this was a little weird if you were not involved in the seduction community. But the truth is we’re like a brotherhood. The tribe. The guys I met are all cool guys, learning game, and they were able to extend their hospitality to me at the local venues. We shared a common belief that there is more to life and that we can master the part of our lives that involve women and relationships. With this commonality we find in others a lasting friendship that extends beyond their normal day-to-day friends we usually have back home.

San Diego lair continues to do well, and I hope they can find the momentum to start a local group. The guys are really something else, and if they can come together, I think they can do really really great things.

We were getting to know each other and a girl comes up and approaches us. I wasn’t sure why but she was perky and my new Texas friend starts reading her aura. She’s fun and then jumps away as soon as she came. I wasn’t sure what’s up with that – never seen it before. I think she was looking for us to buy her a drink and when she realized we weren’t going to because we weren’t chodes, she left!

Next stop was a place called… I forgot. They had an awesome bar, dancefloor, and a patio just as big. I loved the layout. Here we open a few sets that went pretty well. One of the blondes we met was super high state (It was her 25th birthday) and she just dragged us into the set with 3 other guys and her other blonde friend. I realized very quickly that the guys were cool and we hung out a bit. We bounced from this to an adjacent two set and that went very well. My wing, let’s call him “Tex” is older and he has a great read on people. When the girls asked him from his seminar (non pua related) to read their auras he was dead on. “You seem like the type of person who likes to learn new things. And you’re very inquisitive”. I remember the girl saying, “I am!”. Of course. Who wouldn’t think they weren’t inquisitive?

One girl I particularly remember was Rosie. She was this brunette who had one of those rocker “I don’t care attitudes”. The set went something like this and really tested my skills:

Me: You look like a girl who knows what’s going on

HB: Oh yeah? Do you have a light?

Me: I don’t smoke. Cigarettes anyway. So actually I’m new in town visiting, any cool places to go to around here?

HB: Blah Blah Blah

Me: You have a cool style. What do you do? Let me guess

HB: Go ahead.

Me: Hm. I want to say, teacher.

HB: (realizes at this point I’m kind of gaming her): Come on. Is that the best line you can pull off

Me: (a bit pleasantly surprised, but a bit off balance): Yeah, that was a total line.

[At this point I'd like to note that it was a shit test, and that you absolutely HAVE to control your body language and facial expressions and voice tonality. I was losing my voice volume for a minute here but my frame remained strong. In the situations you will feel your cheeks heat up and blush, and the room will suddenly feel very hot. Remember that the more social pressure you can regularly withstand, the stronger your game will be]

HB: I know huh. [Puffs her cigarette, as if waiting for my next move]

Me: I’d had a LOT of girls like you. (variation of “I’ve had girls like you for breakfast)

HB: [Perks up} Oh yeah? What are girls like me like? Tell me. [Give me one of those, "I'm probably better than you" glances]

Me: [Pause]. I hate girls like you. I hate meeting them like this. Because you give guys a hard time. But I LOVE having girls like you as a friend. Do you know why? Because once you get over all her bullshit, she’s very loyal, and a very good friend. [I pause here to do a calibration read, she's into it so I continue]. I know you’re a good friend, and I like that you’re loyal to your friends. In some ways, I’m like that too, except I’ve learned to let the walls go and just be a little more selective in the company I keep.

HB: That was good…

At this point, the conversation continues normally. She’s leaving for LA tomorrow and since logistics won’t work for a pull, we swapped FaceBook info. She just confirmed my request this morning as I am writing this. This girl is definitely very pretty.

Another set I remember we were being amogged by 3 big dudes. I knew they were losers and wouldn’t start a fight so I stayed in. It was really funny. My girl was edging towards me the closer he got. Girls always point their feet towards their guy of interest. I wasn’t really into her but the guy was being a total AMOG, so I stayed to piss him off. As the conversation continued I moved in the middle of the 2 set and the other guys were locked out. At one point she turns to me and says, “these guys are super annoying”. Her friend (who was hotter) actually gave her number to the guy, but I could hear him saying things like, “you’re so beautiful and I really like you, we have to hang out”. She’s nodding but I cringe as  I know that number’s not going anywhere. Eventually the guy declares his loss as he is physically locked out. The girl says, “This is my boyfriend”. “I’m just a friend”, I say. He’s getting annoyed. Later on, “I’m just her gay friend” I said. He retorts, “yeah you look the part”. This is another one of those moments. I hold my frame. And, the fact that I am locked in physically the my arm around the girl makes his insult like water on a duck’s back. He leaves. Ha!

Eventually the girls leave to get a drink (3 of them) and the other chodes lose out. But so did I. I was hoping to bump into them later and close a number since one of the girls was from San Francisco, but I never saw them again. Perhaps it was my loss too. Nonetheless, I got a sense of reading female legs and body patterns, and I learned how to deal with chodey AMOGs. One IMPORTANT lesson here. As you get better at game, you will face more enemies. Guys won’t like competition with girls (except maybe PUAs – since we treat this as a art form) and you will face social pressure from them. There are so far in my experience 4 types of guys:

1. The really cool dude who gets laid, and let’s you game his girl. I remember meeting Daniel (Fox from Daisy of Love) in a bar once in Palo Alto, and he was super chill. “Yeah go ahead these are my friends but they’re available” Guys like him don’t need to compete for girls and are generous by nature.

2. There are the chodey nice guys – these guys have no game, would prefer pussy, but they are nice guys by nature. Sometimes they give value but most of the time they are just passive, and just acknowledging them will be fine.

3. Chodey assholes – these guys are insecure in some way. Maybe they don’t have game, or they’re used to having to compete for girls. And they do so in a very “limited resource” way. There isn’t enough pie to go around. You have to AMOG these guys out, without starting a fight. Thus my tactic has always been to be friendly, but competitive. If the girl doesn’t talk to him, I won’t either. If she does, I’ll briefly introduce myself. I won’t make any insults until he throws them at me. At which point, sometimes it becomes an AMOG battle. Always do so with a smile on your face, or as if you are joking. Sometimes, if the guy is drunk enough, he will fight you. Or, he’ll push so hard that the girl HAS to walk away. Then in some ways everybody loses.

4. Assholes with Game: perhaps the toughest AMOGs of all are the guys who have the physical build and have some game. Usually frat guys are super cool, but just by observing behavior, every now and then they can come in the form of an asshole. This is difficult for me, since I am tall, skinny and can’t fight (or threaten to) so I can’t push it too hard to the point of physical duress. At the same time, these guys have game, so you’re suddenly in a dominance battle. I haven’t figured out how to out-game these guys yet, and usually the one with more guys and girls in their group wins the round.

On a side note, as I’ve garnered more success in money and women I am realizing that more and more conflict follows success. A man who I’ve always admired was my past CEO. If you watch him closely you’ll see that he’s very good a coming across in a friendly and open way, while defending his company’s position and status and making quick decisions when he has to. Eric‘s ability to come across as genuine and alpha without actually siphoning value and authority from others. Larry isn’t always the easiest person to work with, but he has found a way to make that dynamic funny and interesting, rather than contested and hostile. Taking a chapter from The Definitive Book of Body Language by Allan and Barbara Pease:

Fake It Till You Make It?

The most competent liars are those who can go into their acting role and act as if they actually believe the lie. A professional actor who is better than anyone else is presented with an Oscar… Scientists proved the “fake it wtill you make it” concept using tests on birds. In many bird species, the more dominant a bird is, the darker its plumage will be. Darker-colored birds are first in line for food and mates. Researchers took a number of lighter, weaker birds and dyed their plumage dark so that these birds would be “lying” to the other birds that they were dominant. But the result was that the “liar” birds were attacked by the real dominant birds because the “lairs” were still displaying weak and submissive body language.

In the next tests the weaker birds, both male and female, were not only dyed but also injected with testosterone hormones to make them act dominantly. This time the “liars” succeeded as they began strutting around acting in confident, superior ways, which completely fooled the real dominant birds. This demonstrates that you need to cast yourself into a believable role in an interview and mentally practice in advance how you will behave if you want others to take you seriously.

My interpretation of this experiment is that in order to become alpha males and get the girl, we have to actually believe that we are alpha males. Simply looking tall, big and dark isn’t enough. You have to communicate it to others in a constant “state”.

On the way back, we opened some girls but it went no where. Sometimes persistence pays off though. One trick I’ll share with you is: spread your arms wide open with a smile. Hug. “It’s hug a blonde day sweetie”. That’s a surefire way of getting free hugs from hot blondes. These girls are state chasers – they are usually in a high state and Fuji calls it “state journey”. So you have to match their energy level. Calibrate as necessary. Remember that sometimes the girl won’t hug you, and it is no big deal. Most of the time they’ll do it if you have the right energy and smile and come across as friendly.

I am here with a friend, and unfortunately, we did not end up being compatible roommates or road trip buddies at all. I’ve learned some tough things about myself, as well as what I am willing to tolerate and my own elasticity levels when it comes to compromising between other people and myself. I have learned these lessons on friendship:

1. Persuasion = seeing beyond the immediate result and not criticizing someone right away. They will only get defensive and perpetuate the behavior that set you off in the first place. Think beyond that. Better to say nothing at times and let action speak for itself.
2. Letting go and accepting free will – people can make their own choices, and no matter what you do, you cannot make that decision for them.
3. Degrees of friendship and respect – learn to understand that great friendships take time, and not all friends will share the same values as you, all the time.
4. Sometimes, try holding in some facts. Brutal honesty is good sometimes but it is also selfishly unnecessary sometimes in scarring the other person. Let other people be the bearer of bad news.

Field Report:

This time, I am mostly on my own. 2nd day – I open a Greece girl and number closed her. I realized that game here is the same, but the tourist vibe helps. 3rd day (Wed) I went to UCSD and for some strange reason got along really well with everyone. One girl gave me a ride and we hit it off and I’ll see her again. The other was 19 and we ate dinner together. I got lost in the rain looking for my car, which took me 3 hours to find.

I went out on my own the Sevilla. The place is popping and the Body Poets were performing. Sick performance. I hit it off with 3 girls there, and we will setup a time to meet later this week. I realized some important lessons tonight:

1. It is ok to be “alone” if you are traveling. When it is your hometown, it may seem weird, but on traveling you can frame it as “you’re on an adventure”. This shit is exciting and girls get excited. More importantly, I am excited and become in an excited state.
2. Your frame should be: “Hi. I am from a far away land, where I am the tribal leader. I’ve come to learn about your awesome culture”
3. Being a diplomat’s kid, I realized that the skills I learned making friends every time dad moved from country to country helped tremendously. I’d like to share with you these tricks.
4. Diplomatic Kid Trick 1: Act as if you are, reset button. Every-time you move countries, you are basically hitting a “reallocate” button on your Diablo III character. His stats are reset and can be redistributed among his attributes. This is because no one knows who you are, and who you think you are, done with some level of congruence (doesn’t have to be much) will allow you to become that person. I’ve done this in college too.
5. Diplomatic kid trick 2: You’re ALWAYS bringing something to the table. You’re not TAKING away. You frame is as a BENEFIT for them. I’m here to share my knowledge and get to know your culture. In reality, my dad was often times the ambassador, and his good will determined greatly the level of aid we provided certain countries. Thus, there is a status to it. But I noticed that this works too if you have zero money. Simply understand that as a person from another place, you have unique knowledge and a fresh, new perspective on something the locals have lived by for a long time. They may even have developed blind spots. Hell, they probably enjoy meeting someone new anyway!

If you are reading this post, chances are you are feeling a little bad about yourself due to a recent event with a girl. That, or you’re an avid reader of pick up and dating blogs which is cool too.

I want to help you address the issue of dealing with bitches in the field, but before doing so with tactical advice, let’s take a look at the real issue at hand.

First of all, this issue does not pertain to bitches alone. They pertain to other people who annoy you, or are otherwise negatively associating with you socially. To this extent, you have to learn to deal with Social Conflict (future definition for PUA Lingo). Social conflict resolution applies to every aspect of your life. Marriages, how to deal with your coworkers, how to behave in school, and how to deal with bullies and strangers who are antagonistic towards you.

First, remember that people who are angry tend to have a reason for being so. And, a bitch is being a bitch for a reason. Where there is anger, there is usually a root of source of it. Have you ever had a bad day where nothing was going well? Or a string of events that is happening to you and, before you know it, you unconsciously start taking it out on other people. Maybe it was the cashier, or the waitress, or a customer you happen to talk to. You realize you were angry about it later on, and you felt bad about treating the other person that way. But what’s done is done, and as humans we make mistakes

South park small dick skit

Once you understand that there is a source for the anger, that will help you with the second point: controlling your emotions. Basically, don’t react and learn to have a choice in the reaction of someone else to you.

Dealing With Annoying Bouncers / Door Man

Last weekend, I was at a bar and one of the bouncers I knew let me in. Later on, as I was talking to some girls, another one of the bouncer/door guys pulls me by the shirt. I turn around, thinking it is my friend but in a split second I felt that it wasn’t given the intensity of the pull. The bouncer tells me I can’t go in. “But I’m was already in here”. He says, “show me your stamp”. I said, “I don’t have it. I was already in here before”. He then says, “you can’t get in”. My wing decides to come with me and on the way out I look at the bouncer to see if I can get any clues as to why he’s doing this. He takes it as antagonistic and says, “get the fuck out”. I remain emotion-less and simply walk out with my friend.

At the time, this situation had zero affect on me. Surprisingly, given the intensity of it I was pissed later on, but I realized that my experience in field not reacting to bad experiences have been HONED so many times now, that I simply learned not to react! My mind has calibrated to assess bad situations logically and walk away from bad value and towards good value!

Now, I’ve had other bad experience with bouncers, sometimes they will not like you for whatever reason, or it is a power play. A lot of times these guys get artificial value from girls wanting to be in the club, but once you take that situational confidence away, he has no game. So, he takes it out on other guys who do have game. Also, there were many times where bouncers were nice to me simply because I took the time to ask how their night was. So you do the best you can, remember the good moments, and try to minimize the bad. Eventually these guys will come around. They are on the job and jobs can get stressful. Remember that. With success, comes increasing emotions. Just look at the amount of love / hate on any politician in America. With success you must learn to limit other people’s power to have emotional influence over you. Anyway that you do not know personally should NOT have ANY impact on your core self.

Dealing with Bitch Shields

Bitch shields are social barriers girls put up in a club to stop the stream of loser guys approaching them. In spotting bitch shields it is important to identify if the girl is a bitch in real life, or if it is situational. For example, my ex-girlfriends will politely decline a guy and smile and then quickly turn away. Real bitches take pleasure in shooting a guy down, and she’ll make it more embarrassing than it has to to be. Again, this comes from a source of insecurity of wanting to “get back” at someone from her previous experiences.

Dealing with Bitch Shields have been a common topic on the pick up forums. The general tactics are:

1. Display a high value so that bitch shields don’t trigger in the first place
2. Stand out from the other guys
3. Flip the script / disrupt the pattern

So, if a girl responds negatively with, “Isn’t that a pickup line?”

The PUA can respond:

1. “Yes it is / Totally” (Acknowledge)

2. “I noticed that all the cool girls seem to be hanging out here, and I’ve come to spread the love” (Ignore, stack forward)

3. “I bet you say that to all the guys don’t you” (Bluffing)

4.  ”Actually I’m a porn star, and porn stars don’t pick up” (direct conversation to you, C&F)

Sometimes you will just get really negative reactions, like the girl turning away or even “Fuck off!” Best to leave. But don’t leave with you back hunched over. There was nothing unclassy about your approach. What is unclassy is her. I usually use a “Tsskk” sound like, “as if she’s all that”. It has a powerful way of communication your superior value without saying much. Girls are so good at striking down guys sometimes they won’t even let you speak a word in reply and just go off on a rant. Remember, your BODY language speaks more about you than your words to people that are watching. Learn to not react of make any low value facial expressions right away. Choose how you respond to this. If you let anger control you without passing through your “decision” center first, your emotions control you. As artists, we have to be in control of our emotions.

Remember that girls can be mean people too, and just being a girl doesn’t give her the right to treat other people in a mean spirited way.

Dealing with Conflict

I remember watching Eric Schmidt, ex-CEO of Google  giving a talk at a conference. He was greeted well by most of the advertisers and webmasters there. At the end of his speech, an annoying person started asking really loaded questions in a mean way, “how can you say that Google doesn’t destroy small businesses when X,Y,Z, is happening?” And Eric politely answered the question. The guy wouldn’t give up the mic and kept on going. The audience even started to “boo” him. Eric remained UNPHASED. He actually SMILED, and said, “thank you for your question. Next”.

I was amazed because even I was pissed at the guy. Eric’s reaction was that of a true leader. As he used to say, “people are always asking me, what is Google going to do with all these problems. I say, ‘this is what success looks like’”

Sometimes, you can lash out. As Hugh Hefner did in the 1980′s when a untrue book was written about him regarding the death of a playmate and when the FBI was conducting illegal investigations against the Playboy staff for drug possession. And Hefner did win, against the government, but lost in his personal battle with his friend. A more recent example is Katt Williams responding to a heckler in the audience.

Remember to see if from the other people’s perspective. As someone mentioned, “we are all annoying to someone else, and the person that is annoying to us probably finds us annoying”. Of the 99% of conflicts that arise, most of them go away with true understanding. Of the 1% of people who are truly mentally unstable and crazy, as my dad used to say, “stay away from these people” and my mentor says, “these people will be their own undoing, left to their own devices”.

Still, some days I wish there was a super hero that dealt with anyone who abused their power. Sort of like a Bully Spiderman on bad managers, dictators, people who purposefully abuse their power over someone else.

To conclude this post, I think that conflict is a part of life, and we deal with it anyway regardless of our level of success in the world. Better to have power and the social skills to understand what is going on, than not.

His dance game is also solid and very tight. As I was giving him some feedback I realized that what I was saying wasn’t sinking in. “You’re opening is great, but you lose the girl because your whole vibe is not authentic enough.”

“But what does that mean?”

I tried a couple of times but the message did not resonate with him. So I decided to try a different approach. To his credit, ST also asked me, “tell me exactly what I did wrong”

I then started to point out a few things tactically:

1. He didn’t really listen to the girl. At the mall he asked for the girl’s name twice and what she did twice, and both times, I had to tell him again.
2. He didn’t build enough comfort with the college girl before asking for her contact. She said, “but I don’t know you”. That was your queue to ask her more rapport building questions.
3. When you say “you’re not my type”, you’re facial expression is serious and it came across as very harsh. The proper response from a “neg” should be laughter. You have to say it as if you’re regretting it. “Oh man… I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t even bring this up!”. Girl: “What do you mean?” PUA: “You’re very pretty. I mean, any guy would probably be into you, but you’re just not my type right now”. It has to come across as humble. I’ve learned this the hard way many times when girls got offended. Depending on your avatar, your neg HAS to be calibrated to be playful, fun, and in the moment.
4. You’re just throwing out line after line. It is ok to pause. Sometimes, unspoken moments tell all about the person and how they handle themselves. Whenever there’s silence, you always break the pressure vacuum first and make a statement or ask her a question. This gives her more power in the interaction because you’re reacting to her. You have to truly believe that you’re not hitting on her, especially if she’s hot.

Think about the blue bird. He’s inside the neighborhood trees singing everyday. People that walk by enjoy his melodic chirps. The bird sings everyday, whether there were people walking in the streets or not. Coincidentally, this also displays his survival value, and female blue birds come to notice and mate with him. One day, a man passed by and decided to let the blue bird in on a little secret.

The man says, “you know, the song you’re singing is great and all, but it has a reproductive purpose. You sing it and the females come and therefore mate with you. So, it is an instrument just for mating.”

The blue bird, if it was “intelligent”, would have thanked the human for this new knowledge. Day after day, he will start thinking about what the human said, and he will start to notice the people and birds that are walking and flying by. Slowly but surely, he becomes more self conscious. He’s now singing because he’s trying to “mate”. His songs become controlled but forced, and he loses his natural chirpiness and innocence.

If the bird was smart, and simply “understood” what the human said but ignored it, he would have carried on singing his song.

Arash: The point of this story is that we meet women because we are men. It is a natural progression. We practice martial arts, dance, interact socially, create. These are things that are we born to do. So is meeting women. The moment we start doing it for someone else, and for things other than our own enjoyment, it becomes unnatural and forced. Even in deliberate practice of game, we need to understand that I’m going over there to talk to her, because there was something naturally attractive about that person, and I want to learn more. It has to come from a quick but definite decision.

Master Interview Series Intro on PUA Lingo

Here are some recent interviews I think you’ll enjoy. Thanks to all of you out there who know who I am and take the time to read the blog

1. I interview Brad P.
2. I interview Arash Dibazar
3. Cool interview by Arash on not being pussies around girls

I have also been running 9 and 10 game. This is extremely difficult on its own, and even harder in the south bay, where the guy to girl ratio is close to 2:1.  Most really hot girls already have guys in their groups, and you have to disqualify heavily to open their group. Most of the time, the “guy” friend is also trying to get some. But sometimes they are cool.

Single's Ratio in the US (Does not include open marriages)

First… The Game and How It Is Played Here
When you’re gaming 9s and 10s there is a very specific side affect that comes from the sales cycle. This type of game forces you to face your inner demons:

• Maybe I’m not good looking enough
• Maybe I’m not rich enough
• Maybe I’m not fun or interesting enough
• Maybe I’m not good enough

When in fact the rejection rate is simply higher in the South Bay because girls have more options and there is a higher concentration of competition for the nines and tens. Also there is this fixed (smaller) percentage in the overall population of girls who qualify as a nine or 10. Therefore when they go out there accompanied by guy friends and are often times protected from chodes that approach her.

AlphaWolf: A small percentage change in the singles (and sometimes married) male to female ratio greatly influences the power dynamics of dating  between the sexes.

So the secret to unlocking the social circle game in San Jose is really preparing the lifestyle. But we’ve had this discussion before and they end up nowhere because it has nothing to do with game. To me game is the artificial reality sort of like the matrix. Social dynamics are in play and it’s your job to get that girl.

After you get to meet her and date her, real life kicks in – is she compatible with me – do our lives fit well together to rebuild something together. In life we are outside of the matrix and in Zion the world has its realities that kick in.

Opening and Meeting
So let me talk about the tactical: the matrix you will. First in San Jose it is ever more so important to find that clubs and locations where it is acceptable to talk to strangers. This means less social groups and more mingling and interactions. If you find a bar in San Jose that has allowed the closeness social groups picking up those girls in those groups becomes ever more difficult. It is not impossible but often times makes your job a lot harder. Next, open the green light. It doesn’t matter if the girl is not good looking you want to start a conversation right away to get things going you don’t have to decide whether you want a girl and not just open and have a good interaction. Open guys and talk to them, often times they are with girls that are friends. Also it puts you in a social mode.

If you open enough girls eventually one of them will like you no matter what. However often times you will get harsh rejections in your rack up a string of rejections from various girls. How you deal with this determines whether or not you’re a true seducer.

It is important in a high male to female ratio environment to disqualify and remain neutral. By neutral, I mean have plausible deniability at all times do you not blatantly hitting on her. Even if you are, it has come from a place where the mastery of the subtleties are clear to you and her.

In the South Bay, because so many guys are so lame and stand around the dance floor to stand around looking at girls, the fact that you’re able to interact with girls is a huge plus. Finding a female wing is more difficult than I thought it would be. However, I noticed a pattern of positive IOIs when I’m able to produce high value in the bar and initiate an unbreakable opener. Things usually go well after that. For example on Tuesday night in San Jose, I approached a nine and I said to her, “I’m not hitting on you but I just noticed that you’re the only one in here wearing red today”, she stopped smiled and we talked for a bit and we had a good interaction. She is with her boyfriend so she left with a smile and I nodded and then turn around to open the next set. Opening became a lot easier after that because I had demonstrated that what I had this ability to socially interact with hot girls.

Phone Numbers
Following up on numbers in the South Bay is a very tough sales cycle. Consider it a competitive sales market. You have to work at the numbers because girls have more options. As such your game on text has to be:

• Non-needy
• Convey value (to her)
• Show a willingness to walk away
• Have proper timing
• Luck

Most of all, you MUST know when to STOP TEXTING. It is not a sign of weakness. As a matter of fact, it is a sign of control, strength, and most importantly OPTIONS.

Sometimes based on the girls menstrual cycle she’ll respond to you so keep at it and don’t give up. At the same time the biggest mistake that guys make with 9s and 10s is that as soon as she replies to one or two texts, we start thinking about what it would be like to sleep with her. (I am guilty of this) Remember you cannot lose something you do not yet possess. Therefore assume that you are screening her as a friend and potential romantic interest and go from there. Again, remember THE GAME is designed specifically to suit the girls emotional cycle from meeting you to a sexual relationship, not YOURS. Yours is simply a switch from OFF to ON.

Relationship
This is a different topic I won’t talk about today, but again, the sex ratios affect this. All things equal, a girl has more power here than she will in a place like Brazil, where the ratio is reversed. She’s therefore more likely to walk away or find sex (and intimacy) elsewhere.

All in all, the south bay is like the desert. If you can hunt and survive here, you became a true predator and can excel anywhere else.

All the more reason that the best PUAs here should work together.