How to Pickup Girls at Work: The Book?
More than 50% of our waking moments are spent at our 9-5 job – should we be able to apply the principals of pickup to this scenario?
That being said, I can’t help but wonder – if one was financially secure and was merely working for the passion of that career, how would working pickups be different? Let us assume that the PUA has decided to PU at work. How does he go about it? Do the same rules apply?
There has not been a lot of research or work around this. A couple of discussion points:
1. TV dramas show flirting at work all the time: Grey’s Anatomy, Scrubs, Boston Legal, CSI, it is only natural when your coworkers are that hot, and spend that much time together being dramatic. Characters that seem to do well in attracting women at work:
James Spader in Boston Legal
Charlie Sheen in Spin City
That wierd quirky dude from Scrubs
Ari Gold, Entourage
2. PU is different depending on industry
I have heard of PUAs who have infiltrated the restaurant staff and f-closed most of the waitresses there because he was the manager. Ok. Fair. Movie theaters, shopping malls. The same story repeats itself on the forums. What I think happens is that these jobs are just jobs, they are not careers. The difference between a job and a career is upward mobility opportunity and a vision for the future. While the girls depend on the job for the money, everyone knows this is just a job to pay the bills.
White collar workers are a bit different. High tech companies, management consulting, the women in these fields are often well educated and can play the alpha female part, whether that is natural to their innate character or not. It is a lot harder to game these girls. There tends to be 2 types of girls, to generalize greatly, at a more service oriented tech company:
A. The girls just out of school, or the girls that just like to party. To them, the career is great, but their focus is more than that. They have a life outside of work. While they take their work seriously, they do flirt and occasionally go out with male coworkers. They try to keep a good reputation, but it is not their number 1 priority.
B. The girls who care about their careers – more careful, a lot more professional, making it harder to break the professional barrier, even at off sites outside of the office. They have developed a keen sense, some of them at least, of flirting, for sometimes that is required for not being labeled a “prude”, however, it is very calculated and not genuine. They probably have some friends outside of work, are married, or dating someone for the long term. Their social lives are important to them, but it is not their number 1 priority.
3. I think it is hard to develop this skill of PU at work, because the risk of mistakes are so high. Where as in the field, we can be blown out of a set, slapped or worse, the PUA generally will not have any additional consequences or see the girl after that. At work, the cost of failure, of creeping a girl out, or even of having a vengeful coworker who you have slept with file a HR compliant against you, etc. are just too high. As such, the rewards do not justify the risks.
4. In stark contrast the point 3 – we are all human beings. Attraction is not a choice. And since we spend so much time with people at work, there is bound to be sparks. Work on your inner game. Continue to improve your passive value. Over time, women will find you automatically attractive, regardless if it is at work or not.
-AW
Denver, CO Field Report
View of downtown denver at night
Denver is beautiful city. I was lucky enough to have time to go out with 2 local wings while I was there for work. Here are my brief FRs and life lessons.
Wednesday night we hit up a few bars downtown. 5 degrees was happening and there were plenty of girls. I chat up a few sets for warm up. A 2 set opens well, and I isolate the brunette to the corner. She’s into me. We talk for 30 minutes, my wing could not hold, and end up interrupting my set. I asked for 2 minutes, and as the girl asked me to dance with her, I said I have to find my friend. Even though I got her number, I think I lost her there. We chat up a few more girls at 5 degrees, there were a lot of hotties that we should have approached – the ratio was great!
We end up at another less crowded bar .This is where it gets interesting. I see AI from a brunette sitting down. I open,FTC, and sit. We chat for a long time. Her friend interrupts. I handle, I think her friend is into me. I then take her friend all the way across the bar, and introduce her to my wing. They talk for a bit, and I build rapport with my HB.
We end up making out. My line was a kiss gambit that I made up: “on a scale of 1-10, how good are you at kissing?”
Whatever the answer, “Prove it” – if BT is high and she’s attracted, you have pretty good chance of k-closing. Her HB Blonde friend returns. 2 set again. I said, “you didn’t like my friend?” She said, “He’s nice”. That’s girl code for “she’s not into him”. Great. Now I have to hold a 2 set. To my surprise, blonde girl says she’s a good kisser too. I replied, “oh really”. And she says, “yes, let me show you” and end up making out with me. She was better than her friend!
That was quite a show. Everyone in the bar was looking at me, including the HB waitress who I chatted up later but did not close because she moved to Denver for her boyfriend. After that I was on, and we opened another 3 set of blondes and dominated. Great night. Great ratios!
Friday night – I am on my own at Church. Awesome location – kind of reminds of me of Medjools in San Francisco, lots of rooms, different opening opportunities. I met the guys running the Denver lair. We open a lot sets. One cougar ended up propositioning me. I dance with her, make out, but she wasn’t that good of a dancer or kisser, which actually turned me off. I got her number for a late night booty call, which she agreed to, but I never called her after that as I was leaving at 8am tomorrow morning.
One set I remember was with Lauren – she’s actually a wing girl for the lair. I didn’t know this and we made a funny bet which I will keep between us. She ends up winging me, and we try to pickup another girl to make out with us. That was the highlight of tonight. I open a cute brunette, very young – she hooks and starts giving IOIs (hair strokes, interested body language). Lauren comes in and immediately you see her stroke her hair again and subtle IOIs like licking her lips. We were a little too forward, “She’s cute, isn’t she?” and I went too fast for asking for kiss, “we can’t decide who’s the better kisser”. And HB young brunette said, “I am not kissing you guys! I am not like that!”
We lost the set, but it was fun. Lauren was a great wing and a good sport.
2 local guys and I hit up another joint. A lot of guys here actually – the ratio is more off on Friday, but still around 50-50, which is better than San Jose any night. They end up kind of stalling, so I leave on my own, open a few sets. One girl sticks, dance game, we sit down and somehow she turns it into a work conversation because she’s interested in her career. I try to help but really did eject after it got boring. Another 2 set: black girl who’s very cool and her blond friend who is pretty hot. At this point my wings were about to leave, I say to the blonde, “too bad, I wish we had more time”. Her smile was memorable. It was a slightly disappointed but pretty smile.
Overall, we had great night. Some lessons from Denver
- People may argue about the power structure of lairs and how they test new members. The thing is, action speaks louder than words. I think having wing girls was great; they could give real advice for the guys in field. I think for the first time, it was ok not to let them know that these were PUA-knowledgeable girls. I was surprised, and really after that I was somewhat more attracted to her because she understood game. Basically, as interview night (AKA initiation), the guys are told to approach the girls at Church. Some of these girls are actually community girls, and afterwards gives real feedback on how well the new aspiring PUAs approahed.
- The community gets a lot of flak, but so far, I have traveled to Vegas, Denver, and everywhere I go, really, the guys are meet are solid dudes. They are genuine, understand life’s dilemmas, and have genuinely extended their hospitality to show me around their town. I thank Scott, Jeff, Nevious among others for this. For our community is not just about pickup, it is about life. I think despite some losers, really weird WAFCs, AMOGing, overall, there is an underlying sense of brotherhood among PUAs. And this part of our culture I admire.
- I thought game was easier in Denver on Wednesday, but Friday night was similar to SF. More guys, more players on weekends. Game is game, and no matter where you go, you still have confront those fears that are inside of you. I felt free, and since my comfort zone had already pushed by the new bed, hotel, airport wait times, I was bolder. My body language changed. Ken noticed I always maintained a tall, non-slouching body and never seemed to lose alpha body language status. This is great as I felt like I see myself now in the mirror, shoulders high, head up, and this really helps your confidence once you start getting IOIs based on your physical build and the way you carry your body. Even male models have to constantly study their facial expression, walk, and body language.
- I believe in action nowadays. Improvisation class has helped me a lot in my game, and I believe that game routines are no longer necessary for a successful pickup. Life has too many variables, and it is our subconscious that often carries our game as well as the conscious routines, memorized lines. There’s a certain freedom and boldness and spontaneous conversation, and I am starting to enjoy it.
The club Church in downtown Denver
How to give women multiple squirting orgasms
Venturing off more to sexual territory:
This is a purely technique based video on initiating orgasms
Thoughts?
Mastermind Alliance – PUA
The official site of our Mastermind Alliance is here. It is a pretty amazing group of guys who are here to change their lives for the better. You may find some of our exercises and thoughts on the Google sites page helpful.
Years in the game: 3
Years working for the man: 6