Chapter 1: Haven

Haven refers to “a place where ships may shelter from the weather or are stored”. Similairly in my life, college served as my own personal bubble and shelter from the world. Up until high school I had a pretty good life. Dad traveled a lot for his job, and we relocated from continent to continent with him whenever the time came. A side effect of this was that I went to college at a really young age. I remember dad driving me down to Natick mall late at night when we arrived in Boston, looking for a place to stay so we could continue our journey to college the day after. It wasn’t an easy road and I was glad that he came along with me, for I was only 16 and had no idea what to do.

The next day he left, and I was all alone. Although sad, I was also extremely excited. Finally! American College life! Let’s get this show going! The first year was great and we met a lot of cool people, but I had no real interest in girls. When I hit 17 and 18, that’s when things began to get frustrating as girls I meet will either become friends, or show no interest. It was almost as if I didn’t speak their language. Come Junior and Senior year, I was simply in denial and my ego prevented me from approaching and meeting new girls. There were 3 particular incidents I remember from college related to girls:

none of this happened at my school 😐

1. My senior year, I decided to head down to an entrepreneurship competition. I was the only one from our school there. It was exciting. Instead of off alone by myself, I befriended an Asian girl, who later took me in as part of their group. We went out, back to their dorms, and headed out at night. It was so much fun. I had IOIs from her at the time but I felt bad for her boyfriend. In any case, she asked me to stay and I ended up driving home because I missed my own bed 🙂

2. I remember dating a freshman girl. She was very cute, but very quickly I showed the extent of my game: none. I treated her like a friend and we went out on a date once. She later fucked one of my friend’s friends and that was that. Later, she tried to be nice to me, but I just couldn’t do it. Had I had options and more game, I would have been nice to her but at the time, I was insecure of my own ability to attract women.

3. I had a crush on a girl called Vivian, and she wasn’t super cute but she had that quiet confidence about her. She was very nice to me, but when I spilled the beans on me liking her, she said, “we should be friends” and suggested girl friends of hers that  I could date. Very nice girl, but I totally did not know what to do to get her. It was a real “infatuation” of sorts, that we don’t get as much in life after college.

Aside from my lack of progress with women, I made many strides. Business courses took me by surprise as encouraging and interesting. I did well in marketing classes, as well as classes related to entrepreneurship. Finance I knew was important, but I did not do too well in it, and neither in accounting. I loved marketing. I still do.

A lot of time was spent playing video games, we setup a LAN in the basement and cranked out hours on end on WarCraft 2 and CounterStrike. Those guy friends are still some of my best friends to this day.

I developed an ability to lead my all nerd (some nerd) social circle, as well as the ability to speak in business settings. I was able to present business cases on the fly, and these skills came in extremely handy later on in my professional life. I had an admiration for my professors, many of which started their own companies, and the spirit of entrepreneurship was instilled in me at a very young age.

College was sweet because there was nothing to worry about. Dad paid the bills and I promised to pay him back one day when I was “famous”. We didn’t have jobs, or bosses to please. Only professors, who were mostly nice and fair. Friends came easily, and rarely was life bad. We had one kid who killed himself in his dorm room, but the news was kept relatively quiet and we hear this happens a lot more on other campuses than ours. It was the only incident in my 4 years.

If I had one regret, it was not developing a solid understanding of women and girls at a younger age. I would go on into consulting in Connecticut and NY and suck again at picking up girls, despite my prestigious job. A year after school, I realized that none of the traditional stories made sense. If you made money you didn’t always get the girls. It is what you do with that money and your personality that counts. I started looking at the way I dressed, and started making serious plans to change my life. Because, I wanted this:

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