3 Common Mistakes Newbies Make
How many of us actually get to meet a friend who we are in constant awe of, and yet share an amazing friendship with? We’d be lucky if such a person were to come into our lives, and that we can continue to be the best of ourselves.
When Allen Shore first Met Denny Crane (The Practice):
I believe such a friend will come. In the meantime, I have been going out with a few newbies recently just to be out. I’ve been doing this cold approach thing on and off for 5 years now. I’ve done over 1000 approaches. I ‘ve gotten pretty good at cold approach game. I have also built a solid foundation in my social circle in the bay area. When I am giving you the common mistakes that newbies make speech, trust that I know what I am talking about.
Some of the common mistakes I have noticed are as follows:
- The newbie is over eager and talks too much. They are excited and they speak and speak. This actually has a positive effect on opening, and they usually can do well in the first 5-10 minutes .Girls even laugh at some of their routines. This effect starts wearing off because he keeps giving value without asking for some type of investment from the girl. After the 7 minute mark, the mood changes and the girl realizes that he’s a dancing monkey. So they just laugh and enjoy the moment, and then scatter off. When asked for a number close, she rarely gives it outright. The correct way to give value without return is to talk about something interesting, then chat as if you were talking to yourself. Then, say goodbye and drift to another group. Instead, the newbie stays and keeps talking, amused that his material is actually getting acclaim. He fails to realize that HE is the one that must get acclaim. Attraction is tied to his identity, not his material.
- The newbie doesn’t acknowledge his friend. Instead of giving his friend proper props, he continues to chat up the girl. Your wing-man is representative of your own value. You must treat him with respect. It is amazing to me how many guys totally forget their wing as soon as they are in “set”. At least give him a nod or shake and say, “give me 10 minute”
- The newbie fails to hit a “hook” point, where the girl WANTS him to stay and talk to him. When he introduces me to the girls, the girls are SUPER Flakey and sometimes rude. In contrast, a good PUA or natural who introduces me to a girl introduces me in spades and the girl is super interested and gives me tons of credit. This is the difference between a master and a newbie. Masters don’t even introduce girls to me they don’t deem worthy. Newbies will introduce any girl they’ve just met to me. They see more value in the girl than they do in me. A man who has tons of girls will only introduce girls who exhibit good behavior to their best friends.
- They are eager and will approach. This is sometimes a problem for naturals, or even more seasoned PUAs. We’ve gotten used to getting a lot of social value, and sometimes prefer to comfort and attention that our social circle affords us. Or we pick only really good sets that are WORTH our time. We don’t just approach for the experience because we already have that.
- Newbies will have useful comments that are usually positive and a lesson they learned. That lesson may be super obvious to you, “oh yea, I totally ignored her friend!”, however for them it is a learning experience and sometimes it is fun to watch.
So the worst thing I suppose is a depressed newbie – not only is he new, he’s no fun to be around. Although, I wish I would meet a PUA or natural who can hold his own and be as good as me in field. So far, I haven’t met anyone like that who has become a decent friend. Arash And DJ Fuji remain exceptions.
Never give up respect for rapport. Never. With girls, with friends.
Respect cannot be earned back once you give it up. Rapport can always be built if respect is there.
The reason I liked the Mystery Method so much was that it provided a model of plausible deniability for the guy, which we never had before. Using this method effectively, we are able to flirt without coming out and directly saying words that will give her a socially acceptable reason to reject us. This is the basis of Gambler’s stealth attraction and I see how it works now at the master level.
As a newbie, I sometimes did things that I felt bad about. For example, I supplicated, bought girls drinks, the WORST is when I compliment her after she does something mean, like, if the obstacle says something mean, “you’re not very fun are you”. And then I’ll say, “that’s a nice dress you have on”, simply because I didn’t know what else to say. These moments are seared into my memory and I will always remember then. At some point in year 2-3 I decided that I would NEVER give up value or self respect to get results. NEVER. So my game progress was actually shortened, due to the fact that sometimes, I will stop gaming a girl to retain my own value.
Thus, my game now is developed around high value, plausible deniability game. Even if I don’t get the girl, I don’t feel bad about myself. I don’t get laid as much, however I feel better about who I am and what I represent. That’s something I am unwilling to trade for more pussy.
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