Eyes on The Egoless Self and the Big Picture

Starting this weekend, I felt weak and complacent and I wasn’t sure why. It has been a while since I have been sad and I didn’t know that reason for it. It wasn’t my finances. It wasn’t my health.

Today I went out and in the midst of this I think I may have found an answer. It is still forming but I wanted to write it down.

2 weeks ago I was with 3 girls and one of them was the most  beautiful, coolest girls I’ve met in a while. And I was getting pussy thrown in my face left and right. This week, my leads have dried up as I have been working on my online projects quite intensively.

I realized that pick up does take my brain to a higher state, and its almost like a drug withdrawal when I don’t go out for a long time and talk to strangers. The adrenaline rush has become addictive. Another side effect is that my ego has been tied to being a guy who gets laid a lot. And now, that’s not the case. I think whenever an “alpha” in monkey society becomes a “beta”, there are certain psychological triggers that cause pain in his brain to forc him to try and retain his alpha status. This may explain the downfall of lottery winners and once-upon-a-time celebrities who destroy themselves thereafter.

At the end of the day, the bigger picture is that we are working for the future – a future where I can travel and meet cool friends and be happy. If we lose sight of this, then we lose. Also, at no point should be ego be associated with getting laid – my ego is simply my awareness of myself and my humanity. My worth as a human being and as a person has nothing to do with my ability to pick up girls.

There will come a time where female energy is all around us, and it exists in a sustainable, renewable manner. Without this phase of the cocoon and the ability to develop a deep skillset or establish a lucrative channel for money making we will be forever stuck in perpetual worker / middle class mode.

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