FR from last night when your friends ditch you, you should…

Insights today

*It has been a day of etching in lessons (see video at the end for my reference)

(I don’t always have these, but when I am deep out in the field they come to me more often while I am connected to a different frequency of consciousness relating to different types of people)

  • San Diego is a small, friendly town. If I can’t own it here, I don’t deserve to be anywhere else. Not the bay, LA, or NYC.
  • The airport is 15 minutes away from my house. I can still live here and travel consistently.
  • Most foreigners and international students don’t make it here. They end up hanging out with themselves. While most are friendly, 1 of 2 things happen:
    • They accept the fact that they won’t assimilate, and just give up and enjoy what they have
    • They make excuses as to why they cannot assimilate, why Americans are _____ (boring, rude, un-cultured, you name it). When people have to make excuses, they are usually insecure and defensive about something else. You don’t have to make fun of them about it. Just accept it and try to understand them.
    • The 3rd and most unlikely scenario is the foreigner who decides that he or she is going to get what’s hers, and that nothing is going to stop them from doing so. Therefore he assimilates, he makes the effort to understand the culture, and ventures out of his comfort zone to understand the culture to to become one with the culture. This takes strong dedication and most importantly a decision needs to be made. Think Jake from Avatar.

FR from last night:

Most of my FRs are are accompanied by 4 hour soundtracks of audio. I will share those with my training coach, Psych separately. Here is the FR in text.

Last night we hit up Alesso, one of the European DJs that’s making it big in the US as part of the EDM trend. I get a tip about it from my female roommate and decide to go. I thought when she invited me that we were going together, however the European girls had other plans. My other male roommate asked me to get him a ticket, so I did.

Around 7:30pm we head out and the line is huge. Lots of teenagers with fake IDs. Ha. It was pretty funny. I adapt and loosen up my jacket a bit. Time to play young. Good thing I’m Asian and age well.

Female roommate ends up not texting until way later, telling us she and her friend went and “got bored” and left. I just text “lame. you guys have no idea”. I don’t even think they realized that the music that was playing was a pre-cusor to Alleso actually performing. I would used to get upset about these things but tonight I was surprisingly calm. I tell my male roommate we’ll have a good time anyway.

While in line, some girl approaches us and asks for tickets. He engages her in conversation and almost sells the ticket. I look at him incredulously, “wait, you’re ditching me AND selling your ticket to someone else?” He has the courtesy to say, “ok, I’m sorry” and gives me the ticket. But he goes home. I should have known because he always ditches me or the whole crew whenever we go out and we do something that’s slightly out of his comfort zone. I make a mental note to never go out with him again without making secondary plans and move on. Now I had to find someone as a wing. Unfortunately no one could make it out that fast, so I had a decision to make: do I sell my tickets to the people walking around, or do I go in and have fun?

I decide that the worse case was that I go in and didn’t like it. It wasn’t about the money for me. So I roll in and the night begins. Forgive and forget. I realized from previous experiences I can either vent and be burdened by my thoughts of my friends ditching me, or I can move on and have a good time. If those are your two choices, what would you do?

Set 1

I walk up to 2 girls by themselves before I enter the stadium. They are trying to sell their ticket because they can’t get in with their fake IDs. I find out they are 15 and 18. The 15 year old asks me if I know any parties downtown. She seems excited. I banter. Its pretty easy pretty much any line you throw out they laugh I guess they haven’t heard many guys who actually have something interesting to say. Innocence is bliss.

The 15 year old starts saying, “yeah let’s party I’m totally down, so is my friend. Do you know of a house party nearby”

Me: “slow down. Maybe we should exchange names first”

They are completely down. I shouldn’t have talked about age when I asked her she asked me how old I was I said, “guess’. At this point some guys who were buying tickets come up and buy the tickets from the girls. As I am negotiating my tickets thinking I could roll with these two, she asks my age. I answer honestly, “I just turned 30”. As I am talking to the ticket guy I overhear she and her friend talking, “he’s 30!” and eventually walk away. Interesting. Andy (RSD) was right. You have to lie about your age its like they are socially conditioned to not respond to someone above a certain age.

I used to think that brutal honesty was the best policy. I still do, most of the time. But I’ve come to realize that sometimes, you need to make things comfortable for the other person. From a different perspective, brutal honestly is a selfish act. You’re not taking into consideration the other person’s feelings. I very rarely lie in my life up until this point, and people have always considered me very idealistic and naive. But as of late, I realized that to be a gentleman, or a “good person”, telling the truth 100% isn’t always best for my own interest, as well as the interest of others.

So I’ve decided that tonight, at this event, I will be 23.

As I enter I took a look at the crowd. Very young. Oh well, here goes.

First sets were just casual high fives and banter. I realize most of the girls are very young and totally unaware of the nature of “boys”.

Set 2-5 small banter, just getting names and dancing a bit

Set 6

Asian girl. Warm up set. She’s bitchy as most Asian girls are with me

Me: “Whatup”

Her: “who are you”

Me: “I’m just me”

Her: “ok. What are you doing here”

Me: “blah blah”

Her: “Why”

Her: “how come”

Her: “Why are you here”

Me: “are you always like this?

Her: “lol. yeah”

Me: “Asian girls are always bitchy to me”

Her: “I’m not a bitch!”

Me: “Shut up. You know what I mean, you’re sassy like that”

Her: “lol that’s true”

Stupid Asian girls. I realized that I should just game all girls like I game Asian girls. Like I don’t give a shit.

Note: she ends up finding her friends and later comes to me, “where are you friends” like she wanted to introduce her friend. I said, “actually I gave the ticket away to a dude across the fence.” She looked confused, “ok bye”. Again, I realized I should have said “they are here somewhere, I got tired of looking for them and said, ‘fuck it'”. Which is what I said from that point on to great effect. All the girls could relate to losing their friends in a crowd. The lies are not really for me, yeah they are, but they are also things to put the other person in a “comfort” position. You need the ability to lie to navigate a social situation to your advantage. I have never lied about my age, my background, ever before. As I am delving deeper into the social dynamics of this world, I am starting to realize that it may be a necessity to achieve what I am going for. I never lie to my close friends, and I have always been 100% honest with all of my girlfriends and relationships. It actually bothers me when my friends lie about these little things. I don’t understand it. But for now, I have made a decision to lie in social situations with strangers in order to explore my pick up skills and to get what’s mine, and I make no apologies for it. There, I said it.

Set 7

Two girls I joked would be wife #1 and wife #2 end up dancing next to me. Another dude comes in really high energy. I get a sense of what he’s doing. Smart younger dude. Tries to engage the girls, and yells a lot. He’s in tune with the vibe, but didn’t know where to take it from there.

I just stood there for 15 min enjoying the show. I realized at this point that I was scared. Why am I scared of young girls? I took a look around. And then and there I realized the truth. FEAR. On some level, we’re learning pick up to conquer our fears. On some level we think we can’t get or deserve a certain type of girl, and we let that fear either control us and paralyze us. A lot of times, we wave it away with an excuse or think we’re too good for it.

Rationalized Excuses Distancing Yourself

  • “these girls are too young for me”
  • “they are too slutty”
  • “they are stupid”
  • “they’re not my type”

Self Doubt Excuses

  • “I’m too old”
  • “I’m too young”
  • “I’m not as good looking”
  • “I’m not as buff”

In a way, the self doubt excuses are less worse than the rationalization, because when you are rationalizing you don’t even realize your fear. With self doubt, at least you know there’s something you need to work on (whether it is true or just in your head).

I decide I wasn’t going to spend the night alone and in fear. I approach wifey #2 the closer one, “hey whatup”

HB: “hey!”

Me: “I always wanted to do this, want to piggy back”

HB: “Ha, no it’s ok”

Me: “Ok lol. I’m gonna go look for my friends”

HB hugs, “bye!”

That got me past any AA I had and I took the momentum and moved on.

Set 8 

Super hot girl who looks a bit older I open. I really liked your calm energy

HB: “I know right”

In between sentences, I would vibe with the music, when the songs transitioned, I would go back and talk to her. She got really close to my ear and it was very intimate.

I don’t remember exactly the conversation but she’s super classy, has a boyfriend, and we were friends on Facebook. Prior to the close I remember saying one of Julien’s lines I wanted to practice as part of my pull game:

Me: “As a sidenote, do yo love me or hate me right now?’

HB: “Are you kidding? You’re super cool”

That’s when I went for the close. She’s super classy, 25, and said if she didn’t have a boyfriend we could. We ended up friends on facebook and hung out for a bit. I said I’m leaving to look for my friends.

Set 9

Super cute girl with ok looking friend. 17. Model potential. We talk. Guy comes in, nice to me, tries to game. I remember being a teen and having no game. That’s what its like. Bumbling and fumbling. I really admire his courage though and his attempt. Nothing came of that, their friends pulled them away

Set 10

Cute girl in leather jacket. We talk a bit. Her boyfriend is there. I leave her wanting more.

Outside, Alex meets me and we decide to game the crowd that’s coming out

Set 11-15

Really good sets, most of the girls are super young. Alex has improved a lot. He’s been training with Efficient Pickup and I see how he’s using his body language and height to his advantage. It is exciting to see progress because we don’t always get that in this community.

Set 16

3 set older MILFS. Alex’s girl is DTF and blonde, but she’s coming onto me. I decline. We talk about potential for a train. Decide to move on. Skill set over girls. She was cute but definitely older late 30s early 40s.

Set 17 – 20 street game

Set 21

2 girls at Seersucker we talked to on the street. They end up with 2 chodes hitting on them. I go up and sit right in between them

Chode | HB1 | Me | HB2 | Chode 2

It was hilarious. I just say down and said, “I guess I win my dare”

Chode talks to me and am nice to him. He tries to get the girl away, “let’s get a drink”. HB1 is like, “no I’m good I still have my drink here”. I see them getting worried. At one point I just sit there. Wondering, “what happens next?” lol

I ask HB2 who the guy is, “I don’t know him”

Alex tries to come in but the seating situation is weird, so they end up leaving

Chode eventually bribes HB1 and 2 to get a drink with them. I laugh. The girls actually stay. They sense high value vs. trying to impress. I get her number. There was a moment of hesitation as the guys were looking back, and the girls won’t leave. There was tension. I held my frame

HB: “I feel weird giving you my number like this”

Me: “Who cares. You don’t owe them anything”

The guys break the tension by walking away to the bar.

Girl stays with me and gives me her number.

They end up getting drinks with the guys at the bar. I just laugh. I wonder what else I could have done differently to battle it out. I learned something important here today:

To win, to get what you want, someone else has to lose. You can be a gentleman about it, but other guys won’t always have good sportsmanship. You just do the best you can, and not hesitate to defeat someone. Because you know what happens when you don’t win? You lose. And they don’t owe you anything, nor you, to them. That’s life.

I would never consider defeating or AMOGing a friend of mine. But, in the real world, all things is fair game and you have to accept that as reality, or live in a fantasy world. In a way, embracing our human nature, both the good and bad, is an exercise in will and independent thinking.

Set 22

MILF set Louise. Talking to a married guy. I blow him out easily. He was rude to me, so I ignored him. I would have been nice but in this case, I made an exception. I wasn’t mean to him per se, just unreactive.

Part of me wants to bust out of character afterward and just say, “hey man good game”, but I realize that I can’t do that. This is the game the way its meant to be played.

Set 23

Quite a few street sets, almost pulled a redhead. Made out, hands down her pants 21 year old. Her friends were pulling her away and I asked her but there was no way she could ditch them without seeming like a slut. I may still have been able to pull her away I suppose but her friends eventually pulled her away after giving us time. They were trying to get a taxi home.

I would not have done that had it not been for Jonas and Beryl who taught me to go in direct and to escalate. Everything I was doing, she was kino’ing back, so I escalated to see how far I could get. I may lose her via text again since the feeling is now gone ,but it was a good lesson learned.

Set 24-27 

Some funny in-street sets but no go. One girl who was funny said, “I’m taken but you guys should go you got 15 minutes left you’re not getting your dick wet talking to me”.

I was like, “Yep you’re right. Later”

*A lot of the painful lessons are not painful for me anymore. They are reference points. These are great lessons to learn so I know what to do instinctively next time. Reframe your pain into learning lessons as pleasure. The more pain points or “mistakes” you make, the better and better you get:

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