How to Deal with Bitches

AKA “How To Deal With Annoying People”

If you are reading this post, chances are you are feeling a little bad about yourself due to a recent event with a girl. That, or you’re an avid reader of pick up and dating blogs which is cool too.

I want to help you address the issue of dealing with bitches in the field, but before doing so with tactical advice, let’s take a look at the real issue at hand.

First of all, this issue does not pertain to bitches alone. They pertain to other people who annoy you, or are otherwise negatively associating with you socially. To this extent, you have to learn to deal with Social Conflict (future definition for PUA Lingo). Social conflict resolution applies to every aspect of your life. Marriages, how to deal with your coworkers, how to behave in school, and how to deal with bullies and strangers who are antagonistic towards you.

First, remember that people who are angry tend to have a reason for being so. And, a bitch is being a bitch for a reason. Where there is anger, there is usually a root of source of it. Have you ever had a bad day where nothing was going well? Or a string of events that is happening to you and, before you know it, you unconsciously start taking it out on other people. Maybe it was the cashier, or the waitress, or a customer you happen to talk to. You realize you were angry about it later on, and you felt bad about treating the other person that way. But what’s done is done, and as humans we make mistakes

South park small dick skit

Once you understand that there is a source for the anger, that will help you with the second point: controlling your emotions. Basically, don’t react and learn to have a choice in the reaction of someone else to you.

Dealing With Annoying Bouncers / Door Man

Last weekend, I was at a bar and one of the bouncers I knew let me in. Later on, as I was talking to some girls, another one of the bouncer/door guys pulls me by the shirt. I turn around, thinking it is my friend but in a split second I felt that it wasn’t given the intensity of the pull. The bouncer tells me I can’t go in. “But I’m was already in here”. He says, “show me your stamp”. I said, “I don’t have it. I was already in here before”. He then says, “you can’t get in”. My wing decides to come with me and on the way out I look at the bouncer to see if I can get any clues as to why he’s doing this. He takes it as antagonistic and says, “get the fuck out”. I remain emotion-less and simply walk out with my friend.

At the time, this situation had zero affect on me. Surprisingly, given the intensity of it I was pissed later on, but I realized that my experience in field not reacting to bad experiences have been HONED so many times now, that I simply learned not to react! My mind has calibrated to assess bad situations logically and walk away from bad value and towards good value!

Now, I’ve had other bad experience with bouncers, sometimes they will not like you for whatever reason, or it is a power play. A lot of times these guys get artificial value from girls wanting to be in the club, but once you take that situational confidence away, he has no game. So, he takes it out on other guys who do have game. Also, there were many times where bouncers were nice to me simply because I took the time to ask how their night was. So you do the best you can, remember the good moments, and try to minimize the bad. Eventually these guys will come around. They are on the job and jobs can get stressful. Remember that. With success, comes increasing emotions. Just look at the amount of love / hate on any politician in America. With success you must learn to limit other people’s power to have emotional influence over you. Anyway that you do not know personally should NOT have ANY impact on your core self.

Dealing with Bitch Shields

Bitch shields are social barriers girls put up in a club to stop the stream of loser guys approaching them. In spotting bitch shields it is important to identify if the girl is a bitch in real life, or if it is situational. For example, my ex-girlfriends will politely decline a guy and smile and then quickly turn away. Real bitches take pleasure in shooting a guy down, and she’ll make it more embarrassing than it has to to be. Again, this comes from a source of insecurity of wanting to “get back” at someone from her previous experiences.

Dealing with Bitch Shields have been a common topic on the pick up forums. The general tactics are:

  1. Display a high value so that bitch shields don’t trigger in the first place
  2. Stand out from the other guys
  3. Flip the script / disrupt the pattern

So, if a girl responds negatively with, “Isn’t that a pickup line?”

The PUA can respond:

1. “Yes it is / Totally” (Acknowledge)

2. “I noticed that all the cool girls seem to be hanging out here, and I’ve come to spread the love” (Ignore, stack forward)

3. “I bet you say that to all the guys don’t you” (Bluffing)

4.  ”Actually I’m a porn star, and porn stars don’t pick up” (direct conversation to you, C&F)

Sometimes you will just get really negative reactions, like the girl turning away or even “Fuck off!” Best to leave. But don’t leave with you back hunched over. There was nothing unclassy about your approach. What is unclassy is her. I usually use a “Tsskk” sound like, “as if she’s all that”. It has a powerful way of communication your superior value without saying much. Girls are so good at striking down guys sometimes they won’t even let you speak a word in reply and just go off on a rant. Remember, your BODY language speaks more about you than your words to people that are watching. Learn to not react of make any low value facial expressions right away. Choose how you respond to this. If you let anger control you without passing through your “decision” center first, your emotions control you. As artists, we have to be in control of our emotions.

Remember that girls can be mean people too, and just being a girl doesn’t give her the right to treat other people in a mean spirited way.

Dealing with Conflict

I remember watching Eric Schmidt, ex-CEO of Google  giving a talk at a conference. He was greeted well by most of the advertisers and webmasters there. At the end of his speech, an annoying person started asking really loaded questions in a mean way, “how can you say that Google doesn’t destroy small businesses when X,Y,Z, is happening?” And Eric politely answered the question. The guy wouldn’t give up the mic and kept on going. The audience even started to “boo” him. Eric remained UNPHASED. He actually SMILED, and said, “thank you for your question. Next”.

I was amazed because even I was pissed at the guy. Eric’s reaction was that of a true leader. As he used to say, “people are always asking me, what is Google going to do with all these problems. I say, ‘this is what success looks like’”

Sometimes, you can lash out. As Hugh Hefner did in the 1980′s when a untrue book was written about him regarding the death of a playmate and when the FBI was conducting illegal investigations against the Playboy staff for drug possession. And Hefner did win, against the government, but lost in his personal battle with his friend. A more recent example is Katt Williams responding to a heckler in the audience.

Remember to see if from the other people’s perspective. As someone mentioned, “we are all annoying to someone else, and the person that is annoying to us probably finds us annoying”. Of the 99% of conflicts that arise, most of them go away with true understanding. Of the 1% of people who are truly mentally unstable and crazy, as my dad used to say, “stay away from these people” and my mentor says, “these people will be their own undoing, left to their own devices”.

Still, some days I wish there was a super hero that dealt with anyone who abused their power. Sort of like a Bully Spiderman on bad managers, dictators, people who purposefully abuse their power over someone else.

To conclude this post, I think that conflict is a part of life, and we deal with it anyway regardless of our level of success in the world. Better to have power and the social skills to understand what is going on, than not.

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