How To Build A Social Circle In A New City Part 1 of 3

April 6, 2013 by Vince Lin  
Filed under God of Style, Learn about Pickup

Making new friends in a new city is not always easy, yet it is necessary. If you want to lead a life of adventure, you will need to learn how to make new friends.

So, you are reading this because you are a PUA in a new city. Or, you’re just a guy in a new city and need some tips on (re)building your social circle. While this post is more specific to PUAs, normal guys and gals can still benefit from it. The process may be a bit different for guys and girls, nonetheless the advice in this post should overlap. Keep in mind I am learning as I go since I moved to San Diego.

san diego

Your first 10 days in a new city

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Closeness to Reality

February 19, 2013 by Vince Lin  
Filed under God of Style, My Personal Life

A friend of mine, Mark D. is a older guy who has a lot more life experience than I do. He shared something recently with me that is close to my heart and the thought continued to evolve.

Life is long, life is short. It is all a matter of perspective, right? Well, life is about time, and time is limited. We’re told can be can anything we want to, but in truth there is a finite amount of time and resources in this lifetime that we eventually give back before we turn to dust or return to the lord or whatever it is you believe.

Being single in America is weird, because we are so entitled to getting everything we want. Money, food, “friends”, all the quick fixes. However I think this actually create isolation and a reality that is further away from the truth.

Village life, in fact, is closer to truth. Ever watch avatar? Tribe members die, others are born, there are different people in different age groups, growing up and growing old in the cycle of life. This fact and truth is remained hidden in celebrity society, because the dream that’s being created is, live young forever and be famous and rich!

I’ve been avoiding the truth for the last few years, sitting pretty at my job when in fact I should have been searching for it. I also realized that not having my family here, I am “removed” from part of a natural cycle of list. Things I need to do going forward to be closer to reality:

  • Have genuinely good friends who are more important to you than superficial stuff
  • Get a dog – dog’s life is short, yet spends his moments with you in the present. I still remember our old black lab from Africa years later
  • Attend a funeral, wedding, or plan some sort of rite of passage event
  • Help out at a local shelter – see those who are less fortunate than you
  • Be doing a job that is your gift to the world, and if not, make plans to be doing this 12 months from now.

In terms of pick up, I would say:

  • Go out regularly to see the night club environment for what it is – a socially artificial place where girls are
  • Have a regular group of friends that hangout and have a good time, doesn’t matter what you do
  • Have friends who respect you for who you really are, instead of your image
  • Have genuine female friends who care about you beyond just sex
  • Recognize people’s reactions as different between cold vs. warm approaches

Tyler does a good job about describing having an “abundant” mentality while recognizing scarcity in life:

Weekend Lessons 1.20.2013

January 20, 2013 by Vince Lin  
Filed under God of Style, Learn about Pickup

I wanted to get this down before I went to sleep as I have been in field for the last 48 hours and have learned a lot and hopefully sharing these here with you will help you with your game. Last 48 hours I:

  1. Slept with 1 girl
  2. Opened 50+ girls
  3. Got rejected 20+ times
  4. Got about 8-10 solid contacts
  5. Made out with 1 girl in less than 30 seconds
  6. Made some really cool friends at a genuine level

Lesson 1: People can be very nice or very mean, they live in their own head space of reality. Read more

How To Transform Your Game After A Plateau And Finding Inner Calm

January 18, 2013 by Vince Lin  
Filed under God of Style, My Personal Life

1000+ Approaches?!?

5 years I’ve been cold approaching. While I don’t go out every day, there are nights I do 20 approaches and nights where I do 1.

Let’s assume 52 weeks in a week, and an average of 4 approaches per week. That’s 200 approaches a year x 5, which nets us 1000 cold approaches. I think I’ve surpassed that number, maybe more.

Whenever I do a cold approach, most of the time, I gain clarity in field of reality. This is because your own belief system crashes with another persons’ and the more you interact with different people, the more likely it is that they will either challenge, or eventually change your perception of reality. Since all reality is subjective to a degree to the user, we are in term influenced by the girls (and guys) we meet along the way.

Recently, you will recall my solo trip to Miami, and other there I learned a ton about myself. My game was improving to another level. Then it plateaued a bit, as I started sorting out what it is that made my game good in Miami. Overall, friends and wings noticed a more congruence, stronger presence. This is hard for me to explain. Some of this is implicit skills I’ve picked up that I may not be aware of.

How My Game Improved

Overall though, I would say, my post Miami game changed in the following ways:

  • I was no longer afraid of getting blown out, and I can hold sets and when friends leave I can sarge on my own in my own town. I’m not as afraid. Sarging alone is a bit boring sometimes if you have a few bad sets, or don’t see the girls you like. However, I’ve developed the competence to do this if and when I have to. Overall I enjoy having wings and friends around so its not something I voluntarily do.
  • Blow outs don’t mean much to me – even the really harsh ones, generally have no effect. I won’t see the person anymore. Sometimes depending on the situation, my wings or friends hurt me more than the girl. Whether it is jealousy, envy, or disrespect (i.e. leaving you behind at a bar, not really caring about you). These seemingly trivial things I take more seriously, perhaps because I have learned the true value of friendship, and this bothers me more than anything a girl can say about me.
  • For example, one night I talked to a guy as he was walking by asking him a question about his girls at the W hotel. He looks pissed and just turned away. I didn’t react at all and it didn’t bother me. What did bother me that night was one of the girls in our group, she was giving me shit and taking me for granted even though she was staying at my house (my friend asked me to host her). I found that more disrespectful because you’re my friend.
  • When in set, I am more present and I don’t flinch at all. I truly believe that I am worth her time, and that any differences we have is a natural cause of disconnect. No one is better or worse than another person.
  • I listen more, and I am more ego-less –  I don’t project what I think about that person onto them and try to see them for who they really are. This ego-less form comes thanks to Tyler Durden and Eckhart Tolle, and this element developed more as I felt love from my family after 5 years of not seeing them.

Here is the brief progression over the last 6 months:

game level alphawolf Read more

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