I am actually a really cool guy. This sounds like a self-centered thing to say, but allow me to put context to it. When I left California I had a lot of problems in my life that I wanted to find solutions for. I was afraid that I was leaving my problems behind instead of solving them. Job status, social circle, getting laid, having a stable social circle. I hoped that I would find some answers on my trip. And answers I did find. Perhaps not on the job front, but I found answers to social value.

Me living in Sunnyvale California is like Lebron James playing basketball in Spain. Sure he’s good, but no one wants to watch basketball when they are eating tacos. For 2.5 years now I have lived there, and the environment has had a significant influence on my psyche. With a high density population of married couples and low single women to single men ratio, I have been reduced to a guy who behaves as if I had very low social value.

While in Brazil a lot of personal things happened. I will narrow it down in this post to the most significant events that allowed me to realize that I am a high value guy: Read more

Rio

I’m  sitting on the Copacabana beach in Rio in front of the hotel Sol Ipanema overlooking the beautiful ocean in Rio de Janeiro.  To my left there are still volleyball players there playing Brazilian volleyball (where you kick with your feet instead of setting the ball with your hands). Across the ocean are islands. You can hardy see them now in the dark, but during the day they were green and luscious and beautiful. To my right is a rolling hill of lights and hotel signs along the Copacabana beach. Cars roam the streets between the beach and the hotel, even as late as 10pm. I am reminded of the city in Taipei and Jakarta. Read more

In business school, one of my professors taught me something very important. He said that the difference between a winner and a loser… is that the loser hasn’t failed enough. Winning business owners, he says, seldom achieve success on the first try. I believe this to be true.

People always ask our founders how we manage innovation at Google. Newspapers and publications will print quotes and headlines like “top 10 things Google does to foster innovation”. The truth is, put quite simply: we have a very unique culture and DNA, one that has not existed before. To truly understand this, one has to actually live on the Google campus for some time. Read more

Feeling fugly? Don’t worry. Some of the best looking people feel this way from time to time. Including yours truly. You are not alone on this one.

In all honesty, I’m no model material. But I’ve always been told I was good looking since I was a little kid. Looking back at family pictures, I would constitute myself a 9/10 as a kid. As I grew older my ears got a little bit bigger, and so did my nose and I would rate myself as a 7/8 out of 10 as an adult. Still pretty good and above average on the population totem poll, but not enough to have girls jump all over me by default. Read more

A few days ago I was in a depression. My definition of depression is: “a state of being where you feel trapped, restricted, lost, and/or otherwise not living up to your full potential”.

Part of this is due to Accutane. 60 mg a day does takes it toll on the body. For the most part, the drug was considered a miracle drug when introduced over 2 decades ago, as the only “cure” for acne breakouts. While there has been no conclusive scientific study that links depression or suicidal thoughts to the drug, many patients have acknowledged a known depression curve when on high doses of Accutane. For me, this feeling just means that if you do nothing or have nothing exciting going on in your life, you will feel a little “blue”. Thus, a normal person with a healthy social life need not worry for the most part.

The medicine, at best, is a slight influence on how I feel. It tends to enhance any negative thoughts that you currently have. Behavior and conscious thought is still personal choice, as we deliberately control and direct them. Read more