How To Transform Your Game After A Plateau And Finding Inner Calm
5 years I’ve been cold approaching. While I don’t go out every day, there are nights I do 20 approaches and nights where I do 1.
Let’s assume 52 weeks in a week, and an average of 4 approaches per week. That’s 200 approaches a year x 5, which nets us 1000 cold approaches. I think I’ve surpassed that number, maybe more.
Whenever I do a cold approach, most of the time, I gain clarity in field of reality. This is because your own belief system crashes with another persons’ and the more you interact with different people, the more likely it is that they will either challenge, or eventually change your perception of reality. Since all reality is subjective to a degree to the user, we are in term influenced by the girls (and guys) we meet along the way.
Recently, you will recall my solo trip to Miami, and other there I learned a ton about myself. My game was improving to another level. Then it plateaued a bit, as I started sorting out what it is that made my game good in Miami. Overall, friends and wings noticed a more congruence, stronger presence. This is hard for me to explain. Some of this is implicit skills I’ve picked up that I may not be aware of.
How My Game Improved
Overall though, I would say, my post Miami game changed in the following ways:
- I was no longer afraid of getting blown out, and I can hold sets and when friends leave I can sarge on my own in my own town. I’m not as afraid. Sarging alone is a bit boring sometimes if you have a few bad sets, or don’t see the girls you like. However, I’ve developed the competence to do this if and when I have to. Overall I enjoy having wings and friends around so its not something I voluntarily do.
- Blow outs don’t mean much to me – even the really harsh ones, generally have no effect. I won’t see the person anymore. Sometimes depending on the situation, my wings or friends hurt me more than the girl. Whether it is jealousy, envy, or disrespect (i.e. leaving you behind at a bar, not really caring about you). These seemingly trivial things I take more seriously, perhaps because I have learned the true value of friendship, and this bothers me more than anything a girl can say about me.
- For example, one night I talked to a guy as he was walking by asking him a question about his girls at the W hotel. He looks pissed and just turned away. I didn’t react at all and it didn’t bother me. What did bother me that night was one of the girls in our group, she was giving me shit and taking me for granted even though she was staying at my house (my friend asked me to host her). I found that more disrespectful because you’re my friend.
- When in set, I am more present and I don’t flinch at all. I truly believe that I am worth her time, and that any differences we have is a natural cause of disconnect. No one is better or worse than another person.
- I listen more, and I am more ego-less – I don’t project what I think about that person onto them and try to see them for who they really are. This ego-less form comes thanks to Tyler Durden and Eckhart Tolle, and this element developed more as I felt love from my family after 5 years of not seeing them.
Here is the brief progression over the last 6 months:
Marilyn Monroe Plastic Surgery?
If you pickup a biography of Marlyn Monroe AKA Norma Jean you will find her life to be one of great sorrow. Never really achieving happiness, despite her legendary beauty and fame, Marilyn fell ill to depression and died at the tender age of 36. She was still considered gorgeous and even more attractive in her 30s.
In analyzing her old photos it has become apparent that she’s had work done to her face, probably by an amazing plastic surgeon. Notice Norma’s first photographs:
After a nose job, she starting looking better and better. Read more
Alexander Hot Seat San Francisco 2012: Notes from AlphaWolf
Here are my notes from Saturday, organized by the concepts presented. For a general review of the Alexander RSD hotseat, please visit PUA Lingo’s review post here.
Stay in set
Without staying in set you never know what your’e missing. Want to get good? Stay in. Alex shows us a video where it seems like the girl is testing him to no end and doesn’t give him ANYTHING verbally. Yet she physically is complying, and eventually the pull happens. You just never know.
Dissipate negative energy
This is a running theme – see each test as an endurance test and brush it off. Deflect negative energy. Alex seems to do this too much as I would have told the girl off, but he seems to see some goodness in people that the average person does not. That, or he’s so into the game that he wants to prove on footage that he can pick up 9s and 10s who happen to be super bitches.
This is important for same night pulls, and techniques to do this abound in his second video.
Just be with her at closing time – guard the door
“As creepy as this sounds, guarding the door is key – who she wants out of the club with is important and will play into who she goes home with. Even if you just walk her to a late meal or a cab, the number is more likely to be solid”
Approach girls while with other girls Read more
LR with Teenager
Since I came back from LA, I saw a different level of game that I have never experienced before. At the Roosevelt hotel, Sexual Twinkie and I hit up 9s and 10s all night. In a set of 10 girls coming out of the hotel, 5 of them were 9s and 10s. Here in the bay, you’d be lucky to get 1/10 or 1/20.
I’ve also been hitting my numbers harder, texting AND calling.
One of the texts got no response the week before I left so I called when I got back. She picks up. “Oh hey its you!”. I didn’t remember who it was and then I realized it was the 18 year old. I met her outside of Forever 21 waiting for her boyfriend. We exchanged numbers. I qualified hard. “You do realize I am 10 years older than you right?”
HB: “Yeah, that’s cool I like older guys”
Anyway I setup a lunch. I qualify hard again because I’m trying to reduce my flakes, “hey, I’m trying to manage my time better can you please text or call me to confirm tomorrow 1230″
She replies right away, “yes 1230 see you there!”
Me: “Cool” Read more