How To Have Success Going Out After A Long Break
1. Get rejected quickly and do it a few times. Bomb if you need to. Move onto a new bar. This will allow your neo-cortex to realize what you knew already: rejections don’t mean shit, it is just your hard-wired survival brain trying to fuck you up.
2. Plan on going to a least 2 bars, or run street game, where the refresh rate is high. This allows you to bomb a few sets quickly, or get back into it. Go up to the hottest girl and say anything, “hey you’re cute”
3. You are going to feel fear again. I did, after 2 months of working hard on a project and not going out. I haven’t felt approach anxiety in a LONG time. To try to switch up bars, and let your wings know that you’re “rusty” but getting it back
4. After about 20 sets, you’ll start to feel the groove again, and the next day, my game was A LOT smoother. You just have to get back onto the bike again. The muscle memory and all the skills you’ve accumulated are still there player.
5. Have faith in the process. Process > Outcome.
Practical Notes from “Trust Me I’m Lying”
I’m 2 years late to Ryan Holiday’s book “Trust Me, I’m Lying“. Never much of a PR person, I learned quickly from his nonfictional account of being a “media manipulator” that marketing can be everything after you’ve built a great product. Since I have to return the book by 12/20 to the San Diego Public Library, I figured this is a good time to write down my notes as a blog post.
Quotes in “Trust Me, I’m Lying”
“We play by their rules long enough and it becomes our game” –
Orson Scott Card
“Social media isn’t a set of tools to allow humans to communicate with humans. It is a set of embedding mechanisms to allow technologies to use humans to communicate with each other, in an orgy of self-organizing… The Matrix had it wrong. You’re not the batter power in a global, human-enslaving AI, you are slightly more valuable. You are part of the switching circuitry”
-Venkatesh Rao (Entrepreneur in residence at Xerox)
“It’s a prime example of the feminist blogosphere’s tendency to tap into the market force of what I’ve come to think of as “outrage world” – the regularly occurring firestorms stirred up on mainstream, for-profit, woman-targeted blogs like Jezebel and also, to a lesser degree, Slate’s own XX Factor and Salon’s Broadsheet. They’re ignited by writers who are pushing readers to feel what the writers claim is righteously indignant rage but which is actually just petty jealousy, cleverly marketed as feminism. These firestorms are great for page-view-pimping bloggy business.”
-Emily Gould from Slate.com
“Companies should expect a full-scale, organized attack from critics. One that will simultaneously overrun blog comments, Facebook fan pages, and an onslaught of blogs, resulting in mainstream press appeal. Start by developing a social media crises plan and developing internal fire drills to anticipate what would happen.”
“Our illusions are the house in which we live; they are our news, our heroes, our adventure, our forms of art, our very experience.”
Practice Advice from the Book Read more
Timeless Beauty and Early Supermodels
Beautiful women didn’t just appear out of no where in the 21st century. In fact, the word “model” was arguably first coined by John Robert Powers in the 1920s, who first profited from using models to appear in paintings for artists. In the 1940s, along came Eileen and Jerry Ford founded out of New York. Then came Elite in the 1970s from Paris. The same founding agencies are still powerhouses today. So you may be wondering what earlier models looked like. Well, this is just my personal opinion, but they are surprisingly similar to the models today, except with a little more class. Keep in mind that the branding of models were different back then. In the 1920s to40s, models did not have a lot of earning power like they do today.
Here are 3 of my favorites:
Jinx Falkenburg – all class, a model and later TV star who got her nickname from her mother, thinking it will bring them “good luck”
Often confused with her sister Anita, Francine Counihan was a brief moment in the modeling industry. Later appearing in films and then leaving quietly to tend to family life, she’s the definition of timeless beauty:
Thoughts on Modern Day Feminism and Journalism (And Julien Blanc)
I’m a supporter of democracy, equal rights and openness and freedom. My dad was a diplomat, and my whole life the theme of open expression and world freedom has been ingrained since my childhood traveling the world with my family. Recently, the media coverage of the PUA community and the response from so called “feminists” have compelled me to write this blog post explaining what I think is going on in a fair and concise manner. For me, the seduction community was an enriching experience when I joined in 2007 where I met lifelong friends who helped me on my journey to become better with my social skills and with meeting women I truly wanted. It also came full circle in helping me become a better man and having more core confidence in myself.
Something that so helped enrich my life is now being bashed in our culture, and I wanted to take a moment to write to anyone who is interested in having an open discussion about why that is.
There has been many accounts of the PUA community being misogynistic and with every group there are the X-Men and the Brotherhood – seducers and bad apples / misogynists. I have been in several lairs over the last few years (PUA groups in other cities) and have gotten to know the guys quite well. The majority of the guys in these groups are just good, regular guys who want to improve their skills with women. Their desire to do is is driven by a love for women and a drive to improve their lives. All in all, these guys are positive, well-intentioned dudes.
Somewhere along the line, money got involved, and “gurus” began pitching products to “get laid fast” because that’s what sold. The outside world views this as the main theme of the community. In my experience, it is not. Go-to any well-run lair in your city and you will most likely find monthly meetings of guys talking about fitness, making money, and improving their dating lives. The essence of these groups of improvement of ourselves, and to establish social ties to help us do this. For example, in San Diego we have a group called “The Mission”, and the leader of that group interviews guys like Tim Ferris and Tony Robbins on lifestyle hacks that he shares with the group and implements. Our last meeting involved talks of meditation and “morning routines” – how your morning routine can effect the quality of your whole day.
I think the reason that the impression of the seduction community is one of misogyny has more to do with the marketing of seduction products, more-so than the actual groups of men trying to improve themselves. This is just based on my personal experience.
There’s already been lots of takes on this from Kezia to Julien to Tyler, The owner of RSD himself (thread hidden) The best summary of this whole fiasco is probably by Russell Brand:
Was Julien asking for it and was he wrong? Absolutely. But did the feminists / white knights get their facts right? They went a little overboard. The picture of the sexual assault chart was a mock parody (albeit in bad taste) of what not to do, and the idea that Julien teaches men to choke women is simply untrue. If you review his videos he’s been doing this for 7 years, arguably one of the best in-field coaches. Anyone who watches his videos and seen him out in-field knows this. He was experimenting to see if he could approach a girl, and place his hands around her neck, as if mimicking choking, and get away with it and still get her to like him. Does he actually use force? no, he’s simply placing his hands there. Does he tell other men to do this? No, he’s just demonstrating that with proper game, in a real social environment, you can get away with a lot. Is this done in good taste? Absolutely not. But forget the facts. “Ban Women Hating Dating Coach From Teaching Men To Choke Women! He Hits and Assaults Women!”. These one-dimensional bite-size news pieces are simply untrue.
Feminist Situation Read more
7 Universal Rules of The Game
#1. Seek to understand first, then to be understood
This one is self explanatory, and allows you to make good friends, even with girls. Not all girls are honest, but in expressing honesty yourself and openness, you give other people a chance to open up to you. Without this, no one can open up to you. Eventually you will meet a guy, or girl, who opens up in a way that creates a good bond.
In nightclub situations, talking about yourself first helps to put the other person at ease. The girl will follow the guy’s lead, usually, if he is congruent enough.
#2. Give (value) first before you receive
Instead of viewing the game as a winner takes all experience, view it as a giving value experience. You’re here to help others feel good about themselves and have good emotions. You’re a professional good emotions booster. Think of yourself as a comedian, or a good friend, or a stand up guy. These ideals help you move towards the person you want to become.
When you seek nothing, then any potential rewards are just more positive experiences, instead of feeling entitled or feeling like you expect something from someone.
#3. What gets measured, gets managed Read more