7 Universal Rules of The Game
#1. Seek to understand first, then to be understood
This one is self explanatory, and allows you to make good friends, even with girls. Not all girls are honest, but in expressing honesty yourself and openness, you give other people a chance to open up to you. Without this, no one can open up to you. Eventually you will meet a guy, or girl, who opens up in a way that creates a good bond.
In nightclub situations, talking about yourself first helps to put the other person at ease. The girl will follow the guy’s lead, usually, if he is congruent enough.
#2. Give (value) first before you receive
Instead of viewing the game as a winner takes all experience, view it as a giving value experience. You’re here to help others feel good about themselves and have good emotions. You’re a professional good emotions booster. Think of yourself as a comedian, or a good friend, or a stand up guy. These ideals help you move towards the person you want to become.
When you seek nothing, then any potential rewards are just more positive experiences, instead of feeling entitled or feeling like you expect something from someone.
#3. What gets measured, gets managed Read more
The Art of Summer Style
Over the last year I have tried to adapt to San Diego’s distinct style and demographics. The guys here are lot more socially calibrated than San Francisco (the straight ones, at least). So what’s a guy to do if he’s not super muscular or fits the “hot douchebag / athlete” archetype?
First, if you are the muscular type, by all means, show it off. I see a lot of guys in tank tops on the beach
Just also muscle dudes with interesting colored shorts:
The 49er (San Francisco)
Sexual Stereotype Profile: The San Francisco 49er
The 49er is perhaps a disparaging term in the Bay area that references the local football team (SF 49ers) to describe girls who think and act like they are 9s but in reality are just 4s. This numerical metric applies to both looks and personality and reasonable expectations from the dating scene.
This archetype was born from a variety of factors stemming from the great sphere known as Silicon Valley. As always, when I choose a city or location I look at 3 factors: singles gender ratio, the culture, and the style-sense and hotness of the girls (related to the culture of the city).
Factor 1: Bay Area Singles Ratio
The distribution of women to men in the Bay area is 51% men and 49% women, however if you plot out data by age from city-data.com you will see a stark contrast in the male and female ratios by mating age
In New York, women out number men from 21+ onward
In San Francisco, the men outnumber women by a lot after age 25:
The only redeeming quality of the bay is that if you are into teenage or younger girls, their ratio is pretty good.
Factor 2: Bay Area Culture Read more
Eyes on The Egoless Self and the Big Picture
Starting this weekend, I felt weak and complacent and I wasn’t sure why. It has been a while since I have been sad and I didn’t know that reason for it. It wasn’t my finances. It wasn’t my health.
Today I went out and in the midst of this I think I may have found an answer. It is still forming but I wanted to write it down.
2 weeks ago I was with 3 girls and one of them was the most beautiful, coolest girls I’ve met in a while. And I was getting pussy thrown in my face left and right. This week, my leads have dried up as I have been working on my online projects quite intensively.
I realized that pick up does take my brain to a higher state, and its almost like a drug withdrawal when I don’t go out for a long time and talk to strangers. The adrenaline rush has become addictive. Another side effect is that my ego has been tied to being a guy who gets laid a lot. And now, that’s not the case. I think whenever an “alpha” in monkey society becomes a “beta”, there are certain psychological triggers that cause pain in his brain to forc him to try and retain his alpha status. This may explain the downfall of lottery winners and once-upon-a-time celebrities who destroy themselves thereafter.
At the end of the day, the bigger picture is that we are working for the future – a future where I can travel and meet cool friends and be happy. If we lose sight of this, then we lose. Also, at no point should be ego be associated with getting laid – my ego is simply my awareness of myself and my humanity. My worth as a human being and as a person has nothing to do with my ability to pick up girls.
There will come a time where female energy is all around us, and it exists in a sustainable, renewable manner. Without this phase of the cocoon and the ability to develop a deep skillset or establish a lucrative channel for money making we will be forever stuck in perpetual worker / middle class mode.
Metamorphosis / Change
3 quick insights after today’s fashion show before I goto sleep / work on my next project.
1. You can tell a lot by the way a girl walks, at least at the local modeling level. Her skill level, her poise. Does she think she’s hot? Is she nervous? Is she stiff and letting the pressure get to her? Can she own a room and appreciate its beauty? Can she appreciate her own beauty, or does she just take it for granted? All of this is in her body language.
2. Don’t judge someone by their “cover”, but rather, their actions and their trajectory of growth. My dad talked to me about an important concept of “metamorphisis” before he went back to Taiwan. He discussed the idea of constantly changing and evolving.
3. I feel a bit socially isolated but the truth is, I can’t wait to be back home and working on my project. There will be time for advancement on our social circle and girls later. We will come full circle.