Fallacies of the Seduction Community #3: Hot Chicks are AWESOME!
I used to think hot girls are awesome, worth more than anything I have in my life. This of course stems from 23 years of being a virgin and focusing only on my studies and business. I was 20 at the time, worked a management consulting gig most grads would be envious of, and lived in a nicely rented apartment in the New York city area. But I couldn’t get girls at all. So, of course, over 23 years of social conditioning I believed the 9s and 10s and hot girls were THE most important thing in life that I could attain or “possess”.
Up until very recently, I still believed that a true 9 or 10 in terms of physical looks is still the most valuable thing and I couldn’t get this thought out of my head. It started to really bother me, and unconsciously I started looking for solutions to my problem or discover my thoughts in more depth. As I am writing this I am also dating this beautiful blonde, east coast graduate from an ivy league school and knowing her personally gives me a greater understanding that just because a girl went to a good school and that she looks great, it doesn’t mean she’s socially calibrated or super interesting to be around. In fact, it could very well be the opposite.
The fact is, most people (male and female) haven’t really accomplished anything significant in life. For a lot of “club hot girls”, she hasn’t accomplished anything in life other than being hot. Because, just by being so, she is rewarded by chode guys who will spend a lot of energy and time trying to get her. In truth, though, she secretly desires the Mr. Big (Sex And The City) – a guy who is strong enough to give her the sense of security and deep attraction she needs as a woman. Here are some of the 9s and 10s that I number closed but couldn’t fully close. I sent them in an email to my coach Fuji:
Shout Out to RSD
Watching RSD’s latest videos, and THEN going out, has helped me improve my game a lot. I’m getting consistent results now getting girls full closing. Still working on 9s and 10s.
For the LONGEST time – I always felt I’m “losing value! no!!” whenever I get rejected / interaction doesn’t go well. It was draining and takes the wind out of me. Harsh rejections make me make up my own excuses : fuck this focus on making money / fuck cold approach social circle is better… you guys know the deal.
I think I finally figured it out:
1. You go out, you put your real self out there
2. You control your own energy in a charismatic and empowering vibe
3. You see things realistically, recognize mistakes quickly, and correct them don’t dwell, just realize. Don’t amplify rejection or mistakes
4. See mistakes and rejection as they are – randomness. Have a laugh at extreme negative emotions of other people. If patterns occur, notice the patterns and calibrate and correct
5. Accept that you have no control over other people’s feelings. You can only control your cool vibe, add value to any environment, and let the chips fall where they may
Tyler on Intermediate pick up insights:
Fallacies of the Seduction Community #2: Alpha Status and Likeability are Inversely Related
Problem: PUAs are afraid of looking “beta” or less “alpha” by appearing to be too friendly. PUAs act more alpha because they think that is what they are supposed to do to DHV and get higher value, in turn to get the girl and show off to other PUAs.
- Newbies look nervous, never smile, trying to be cool
- Keeps assessing what other people think of him, instead of what he thinks about himself and the situation
- Always worried about losing value
- Acting or relating to impress, instead to express
Correct Way Read more
Fallacies of the Seduction Community #1: Openers are a big deal
Problem: PUAs don’t know how to open, mis-calibrate on the open, or think too much about it.
A PUA goes up to a set, walking in a clunky way. He stops awkwardly, and then suddenly, his face animates up and his voice blasts out, “Hey guys! Can I get a quick opinion on something!?!”
Correct Open Read more
Do your emotions control you, or do you control your emotions?
Our emotions are hardwired into place for our benefit, mostly. Natural selection has secured humans to respond quickly and drastically to physical and emotional pain and seek comfort and safety. This has helped us survive for thousands of years.
The same emotions that allow us to sit on a couch and watch TV because we are comfortable is also the same emotion that helped our ancestors survive when they were in a resource rich territory.
Some people let emotions run their lives – the react to certain events. They react to other people’s emotions and actions, they get carried away. They are forever in a reactive mode.
Strong people tend to have control over stimulus and chosen response. That is, they recognize that certain things cannot be within their circle of influence. However, they can always control how they respond to the circumstance. As such, they are no longer an instrument of their emotions. Rather, they become masters of their own feelings of happiness and contentment. Read more