Thoughts on Modern Day Feminism and Journalism (And Julien Blanc)
I’m a supporter of democracy, equal rights and openness and freedom. My dad was a diplomat, and my whole life the theme of open expression and world freedom has been ingrained since my childhood traveling the world with my family. Recently, the media coverage of the PUA community and the response from so called “feminists” have compelled me to write this blog post explaining what I think is going on in a fair and concise manner. For me, the seduction community was an enriching experience when I joined in 2007 where I met lifelong friends who helped me on my journey to become better with my social skills and with meeting women I truly wanted. It also came full circle in helping me become a better man and having more core confidence in myself.
Something that so helped enrich my life is now being bashed in our culture, and I wanted to take a moment to write to anyone who is interested in having an open discussion about why that is.
There has been many accounts of the PUA community being misogynistic and with every group there are the X-Men and the Brotherhood – seducers and bad apples / misogynists. I have been in several lairs over the last few years (PUA groups in other cities) and have gotten to know the guys quite well. The majority of the guys in these groups are just good, regular guys who want to improve their skills with women. Their desire to do is is driven by a love for women and a drive to improve their lives. All in all, these guys are positive, well-intentioned dudes.
Somewhere along the line, money got involved, and “gurus” began pitching products to “get laid fast” because that’s what sold. The outside world views this as the main theme of the community. In my experience, it is not. Go-to any well-run lair in your city and you will most likely find monthly meetings of guys talking about fitness, making money, and improving their dating lives. The essence of these groups of improvement of ourselves, and to establish social ties to help us do this. For example, in San Diego we have a group called “The Mission”, and the leader of that group interviews guys like Tim Ferris and Tony Robbins on lifestyle hacks that he shares with the group and implements. Our last meeting involved talks of meditation and “morning routines” – how your morning routine can effect the quality of your whole day.
I think the reason that the impression of the seduction community is one of misogyny has more to do with the marketing of seduction products, more-so than the actual groups of men trying to improve themselves. This is just based on my personal experience.
There’s already been lots of takes on this from Kezia to Julien to Tyler, The owner of RSD himself (thread hidden) The best summary of this whole fiasco is probably by Russell Brand:
Was Julien asking for it and was he wrong? Absolutely. But did the feminists / white knights get their facts right? They went a little overboard. The picture of the sexual assault chart was a mock parody (albeit in bad taste) of what not to do, and the idea that Julien teaches men to choke women is simply untrue. If you review his videos he’s been doing this for 7 years, arguably one of the best in-field coaches. Anyone who watches his videos and seen him out in-field knows this. He was experimenting to see if he could approach a girl, and place his hands around her neck, as if mimicking choking, and get away with it and still get her to like him. Does he actually use force? no, he’s simply placing his hands there. Does he tell other men to do this? No, he’s just demonstrating that with proper game, in a real social environment, you can get away with a lot. Is this done in good taste? Absolutely not. But forget the facts. “Ban Women Hating Dating Coach From Teaching Men To Choke Women! He Hits and Assaults Women!”. These one-dimensional bite-size news pieces are simply untrue.
Feminist Situation Read more
7 Universal Rules of The Game
#1. Seek to understand first, then to be understood
This one is self explanatory, and allows you to make good friends, even with girls. Not all girls are honest, but in expressing honesty yourself and openness, you give other people a chance to open up to you. Without this, no one can open up to you. Eventually you will meet a guy, or girl, who opens up in a way that creates a good bond.
In nightclub situations, talking about yourself first helps to put the other person at ease. The girl will follow the guy’s lead, usually, if he is congruent enough.
#2. Give (value) first before you receive
Instead of viewing the game as a winner takes all experience, view it as a giving value experience. You’re here to help others feel good about themselves and have good emotions. You’re a professional good emotions booster. Think of yourself as a comedian, or a good friend, or a stand up guy. These ideals help you move towards the person you want to become.
When you seek nothing, then any potential rewards are just more positive experiences, instead of feeling entitled or feeling like you expect something from someone.
#3. What gets measured, gets managed Read more
The Art of Summer Style
Over the last year I have tried to adapt to San Diego’s distinct style and demographics. The guys here are lot more socially calibrated than San Francisco (the straight ones, at least). So what’s a guy to do if he’s not super muscular or fits the “hot douchebag / athlete” archetype?
First, if you are the muscular type, by all means, show it off. I see a lot of guys in tank tops on the beach
Just also muscle dudes with interesting colored shorts:
The 49er (San Francisco)
Sexual Stereotype Profile: The San Francisco 49er
The 49er is perhaps a disparaging term in the Bay area that references the local football team (SF 49ers) to describe girls who think and act like they are 9s but in reality are just 4s. This numerical metric applies to both looks and personality and reasonable expectations from the dating scene.
This archetype was born from a variety of factors stemming from the great sphere known as Silicon Valley. As always, when I choose a city or location I look at 3 factors: singles gender ratio, the culture, and the style-sense and hotness of the girls (related to the culture of the city).
Factor 1: Bay Area Singles Ratio
The distribution of women to men in the Bay area is 51% men and 49% women, however if you plot out data by age from city-data.com you will see a stark contrast in the male and female ratios by mating age
In New York, women out number men from 21+ onward
In San Francisco, the men outnumber women by a lot after age 25:
The only redeeming quality of the bay is that if you are into teenage or younger girls, their ratio is pretty good.
Factor 2: Bay Area Culture Read more
Eyes on The Egoless Self and the Big Picture
Starting this weekend, I felt weak and complacent and I wasn’t sure why. It has been a while since I have been sad and I didn’t know that reason for it. It wasn’t my finances. It wasn’t my health.
Today I went out and in the midst of this I think I may have found an answer. It is still forming but I wanted to write it down.
2 weeks ago I was with 3 girls and one of them was the most beautiful, coolest girls I’ve met in a while. And I was getting pussy thrown in my face left and right. This week, my leads have dried up as I have been working on my online projects quite intensively.
I realized that pick up does take my brain to a higher state, and its almost like a drug withdrawal when I don’t go out for a long time and talk to strangers. The adrenaline rush has become addictive. Another side effect is that my ego has been tied to being a guy who gets laid a lot. And now, that’s not the case. I think whenever an “alpha” in monkey society becomes a “beta”, there are certain psychological triggers that cause pain in his brain to forc him to try and retain his alpha status. This may explain the downfall of lottery winners and once-upon-a-time celebrities who destroy themselves thereafter.
At the end of the day, the bigger picture is that we are working for the future – a future where I can travel and meet cool friends and be happy. If we lose sight of this, then we lose. Also, at no point should be ego be associated with getting laid – my ego is simply my awareness of myself and my humanity. My worth as a human being and as a person has nothing to do with my ability to pick up girls.
There will come a time where female energy is all around us, and it exists in a sustainable, renewable manner. Without this phase of the cocoon and the ability to develop a deep skillset or establish a lucrative channel for money making we will be forever stuck in perpetual worker / middle class mode.