Evolution Of the Wolf and the Truth about Wealth
“That’s it. I’ve done it. I’ve arrived.”
That’s what we used to think. In high-school I wanted to be older. In college, I wanted to get a cool job so I could get girls. At my first real job, I wanted to to “make it” and become an awesome employee. At Google, I wanted to be “awesome and Googley”. There’s always something else to aim for before we find happiness.
I think the human mind, and perhaps to a degree the media draw up this fantasy of the “get this and you will be happy” mentality. When in fact, the very idea of doing what you love is the fantasy itself. Coach Wooden saw this in his life (UCLA legend). Donald Trump also expressed the same sentiments in his book “How to Think Like A Billionaire”.
The truth lies more in what Ekhart Tolle called “being in the present moment” and enjoying the process itself. I think coach John Wooden really understood this. We are also the products of our parents. My mother, who is very pragmatic, and always knew how to save money. And my dad, who wasn’t afraid to go after what he wanted. He taught me many a great deal about how to be diplomatic and kind to people, and how to be a man. I think one of the reasons my brother and I turned out to very rarely lie is because my dad rarely lied about anything. And that’s tough given his profession as a diplomat.
Owen and Julien talk about being the wolf, and how It is never “complete”.
The other thing I learned recently is that I feel free. I understand now what it takes to generate “wealth”, and I will never be poor again because I am mentally prepared to generate value in a capitalistic world. Despite his ego and public persona, Trump shares an insight he has learned about wealth: Read more
Path to Mastery in Pickup
7 years. That’s a long time to be doing cold approach pick up. While I still do it part time, I have been semi-serious about it, and I have improved a lot over the years. Training with Psych definitely helps and he is able to break down my game at a level that I cannot.
That said, I got a lot of rejections recently. Model girl stopped texting me back after the first date. 2 girls flaked on me with online dating. Got a lot of numbers who constantly flake on me, will text back every once in a while, but again feels like pulling teeth. There’s always that feeling of “Resistance”, even when I let go and then reel in again. Furthermore, My Ex girlfriend send me an email that assumed me behaving badly and I was upset that she could think so lowly of me. The love haze is gone, and I still think highly of her but she never saw me for my potential. I was alone in my house, feeling bad about myself and complaining to my friends about my “misfortunes” and then sometime happened.
I started realizing how much of a big PUSSY I was.
I wasn’t always like this. I was better!?! I remember one night in SF I said, “Man, I can’t do this”, and one of the newbie wings, with glitter in his eyes said, “BUT, you’re fucking ALPHAWOLF!”.
That’s why it is so important to have a beginner’s mindset. In the expert’s mind there are few possibilities, in the beginner, there are infinite. We are always learning. I am always a student. For some reason I came to this important realization that I want to share with you here: NEVER GIVE ANYONE THE POWER TO DOUBT YOURSELF. Let me repeat that: NEVER GIVE ANYONE THE POWER TO DOUBT YOURSELF!
Here’s a scene that I was reminded of:
After that, the next day I went out during the day and got a few really solid numbers and have a few dates setup. I realized that I just needed to move past the bullshit. After that happened, I laughed at myself. Wow, I was letting some random girls I don’t even know make me doubt myself! Do you realize how fucked up that is?
People say that their parents fucked them up, or their girlfriend, sister, brother, etc. I think yes, parents have a HUGE influence on your unconscious mind and your mental health, but after a while your life is your own man. A real man doesn’t make excuses. He doesn’t complain. He does that is needed.
When I started this training with Psych I wanted to get super good at cold approach pick up, night or day game. So, it is time to finish my training. My Goal: to have the sex life that I want, and to be able to same night pull and get a lto of numbers and potential opportunities to meet and get to know really hot girls.
Julien talks about how to get good, and how most guys fail when things get tough. A lot of half assed effort and I see it all the time. What doesn’t get measured, doesn’t get managed. It is amazing to me how many guys don’t somehow track their in field audio, video, or write down and actually have a process about improving their game:
Out with 2 wings, A and J. I was tired, and only did a few sets. Remember bumping into a girl I was dating and she was doting off on another guy. I didn’t react too much but even when I said goodbye she looked aloof. That sucked. I was talking to her friend and she was DTF. However, I knew that I didn’t want to. I wasn’t clear on my thinking then, but I realized I don’t need validation from taking another girl’s number to justify to myself that I’m worth it. I think she messes around with different guys (cougar) and she’s just cool about that, so if we meet again just keep it light hearted and fun.
Another 2 set went well with au pairs but we could not pull, so just number closed instead. I’m not sure the numbers are solid.
I started thinking, if someone was naturally gifted they wouldn’t have to try to get girls. So the whole getting girls thing is just for guys who need it, right?
In other words, we have to be so good as to appear like we’re not even trying at all. This is a paradox.
I then remembered that some of the models I know actually started out as ugly ducklings. They worked hard for their looks and on their image, and eventually became top models. In a way we all have to work for it. So the game begins.
Fall Down? Get Back Up
Some girls you will really like, and they won’t like you back. Is it part game? Depends. If you were gaming, then yes. However, sometimes you’re just yourself and you meet people and they get a good sense of who you are, and still, they find you not desirable, or don’t like you the way you like them. That’s the game of love that we all play.
The question is, do you fold your cards, settle, or bluff? Or do you just keep on playing until you win the game?
I had a girl I really liked recently rebuff me. Just sort of went cold. Then I have a former girlfriend who wanted to get back together, and then changed her mind. I am reminded of Jay Gatsby. He so believed in Daisy, but his idealized version of her kept of being knocked back by reality – in reality Daisy was superficial, not brave, and lacked integrity. Jay couldn’t see this through his romantic haze, and this was what had happened with my Ex. There were so many things now that became clear that she so let me down on, even during the relationship. I decided to look past all of that, despite the mounting evidence that pointed otherwise.
It is time to let her go, and move on. I had a good cry last week when we talked on the phone, and the journey to find a new purpose (without woman), a new girl, or new girls, is at hand.
Going back to “pick up” or the whole process of becoming a gentleman… throughout this whole process, you may not be able to survive without coming out alive and finding out what’s really important. Good friends. Family. A strong sense of self esteem and self respect that you learn from actually BEING alone. Yes, I mean, being ok and courageous enough to be alone and still go after what you want in life. After all, not everyone is going to share your dream.
The juice is usually worth the squeeze. Sometimes it just hurts when you’re squeezing.
Update on Going Out
Nelson Mendela died today. He lived a long, good life. When we were in Cape town in 1996, dad took a detour and visited Johnannesburg too. I remember everyone talking about Mr. Mendela and the revolution that was happening under him. There was an excitement in the air that connected the social narrative, that real change was now possible. To think that one man made such a HUGE difference in a nation of over 51 million is astonishing.
Reading about his story I also realized that he, like Martin Luther King, like Mother Teresa, had flaws, but also did things for other people. There is a certain joy to helping others. He believed the true freedom cannot be reached if there are people in poverty, because in poverty no one can ever really escape life’s harsh realities. I see now that I have spent my last 10 years seeking “freedom with income and women”, while Mendela was a higher purpose, seeking freedom for all.
It also got me thinking about the reason for selfishness vs. selflessness. In a world that is sometimes hard to see clearly the morality of a situation, how does one like Mendela continue to hold onto hope and the best in people? In his words:
“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.” —Long Walk to Freedom: The Autobiography of Nelson Mandela“
I enjoy the flow of the game at night game, but I do get despair when I see the superficial aspects of women in clubs. They turn easily (from one guy to another, based purely on social value), they go home with strangers, people value alcohol and smokes and loud dance music over genuine conversation and a level of sophistication and class that seems to be sorely missed from Jay Gatsby’s days.
I have strayed from my original ways, learning game mechanically. Larry Page found Lucy based on his perception of her intelligence and gentle nature. I’m not going to find my counterpart going out to clubs, its just not likely that will happen. Instead, I should look towards avenues via social circles to expand my horizons. I am going to conclude my training with Psych at 6 sessions, and see if I can get a refund for the remaining 4 sessions. I hope Fuji is cool about this, we’ll see. I am improving my club game immensely. My speech is getting better, and so is my eye contact and body language. Mary said something important to me though – if I just show my vulnerable self, who I really am, women will fall for me. And if I can find a girl as good as her, who shares my values, then I will feel like I have accomplished what I had initially set out to do.
The mechanics of club game is an important skill, but ultimately I want to be a man of integrity and substance, that extend beyond the cold approach pick up of the club. I have made this decision tonight and will follow through on it.