For Business or Love: Part 1 and 2
I wrote a brilliant business plan a year ago during Memorial weekend. It sat in my “Entrepreneurship” folder on my desktop for a year. This year, around September, I negotiated a deal with a previous web design firm that we hired in my management consulting days to launch a new site. I am behind on this initiative.
Every time I sit down to write something, my mind wanders into pick up, and I end up going out with Gonzo to pick up girls and run game. We have been going out with a group of Charisma Arts alums. Reading Juggler’s Method (JM) has been a great addition, although I personally find the lack of methodology a weak point for me, as I usually follows a routine a well scripted guideline when I go out. Gonzo’s game is much more casual and natural than mine.
I don’t have a solution yet, but I would like to document the problem in this post. My mind tells me I should focus on building wealth, but my heart (and other body part) urges me to continue on this road of mastering pick up. Yusha P, my good Swedish PUA friend is also running into this problem. There comes a time when a man must make a decision to sacrifice short term entertainment for long term gain.
After some thought, I thought the Google model might work. “Build the platform”. If I can start a business/website that has reoccurring traffic and is generating some revenue, the element of TIME will only be an addition to my wealth. This is a similar concept to owning real estate. Wealth grows. I have confidence that I can do this, having graduated from the best business school in the world for entrepreneurship.
On the other side of the coin, my PU skills have lagged since my “San Francisco Apartment by the Bridge SOMA” days. I went out last Saturday, and I had AA opening! I ended the night talking to a HB9.5 for 30 minutes, and I negged too hard. On closing, I asked her why she would not give me her number, hoping at least for some feedback despite the fact that I had this super hot girl in my sight but bombed the set. She said she was actually a nice girl and that I was too mean. I don’t have a platform for PU. In other words, it has been almost 9 months since I moved to Sunnyvale, CA and I don’t have a social circle built where I can have girls for regular sex. This is not a “incremental platform” and if no action is taken, I am going to be worse off alone.
So I sit here, in front my my computer. Wondering. Do I pursue my business plan, focus on that, and develop a sustainable income stream over the next few months? Do I spend my weekends going out and mastering PU? I am leaning towards mastering PU. My reasoning is this – it is unhealthy for a peaking 24 year old to remain sex-less. It is actually affecting my mentality. Ideally, I’d like to do both. Today, Tom Perkins came to give a talk at work. I asked him afterward, “A friend from business school recently give me this piece of advice: ‘you can lose a lot of money chasing girls, but you will never lose the girls chasing money. What is your take on his advice?”. I got a laugh from him, and his response was, “well, I do have a long list of resumes for the Mrs. Perkins position. I suppose being a VC and Writer is a good combination”.
Going Deeper on Money vs. Sex
I started thinking about what wealth and love really means. Mystery has noted Wealth, Health and Money. I am a healthy 24 year old. I have nice style. For those of us in business and entrepreneurship, hopefully we understand that Money is merely an instrument of exchange. It is a tool that reflects what we are willing to trade, or, if you really dig deeper, our true desires. Money in and of itself is useless. It is money’s ability to purchase other things of value to you that is its essence.
Sex is more simple – it is that animal urge to spread your genes. But wait, relationships are important too. As Zan said, it is about connecting with people. In his recent talk at UC Berkley, one of the PUAs noted that Zan said today, we don’t bond at campfire anymore. Instead, people sit on the couch alone and watch TV. We have created a culture that craves companionship. I think this is so true. So yes, I want regular sex, but more importantly, I want to connect with one of the most beautiful things that God has created in this realm – that of a beautiful (both mind and body) woman.
My Goal for Myself
My goal is to develop the skill set to get consistent lays. I also want to launch my new site and business by end of year. I will report back on my progress…
PU and Marketing
You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says,”He’s fantastic in bed” That’s Advertising.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say,”Hi, I’m fantastic in bed” That’s Telemarketing.
You’re at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say,”By the way, I’m fantastic in bed” That’s Public Relations.
You’re at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says,”I hear you’re fantastic in bed” That’s Brand Recognition.
You are at a random party and see a gorgeous girl. You seem to recognize her from somewhere but you can’t quite put your finger on it. As she approaches, she whispers your name, “This must be fate. Let’s do it again”. That’s Customer Loyalty.
The Economics of Gold Digging
The following story is currently making the rounds on the Internet. Follow the link to read the whole article:
Supposedly, a woman posted the following personal ad on Craigslist:
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25-year-old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least [a] half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a businessman who makes average around 200 – 250K. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000K won’t get me to Central Park West. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms.
- What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings.
- Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the Upper East Side so plain? I’ve seen really “plain Jane” boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the East Village. What’s the story there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows — lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY.
Please hold your insults — I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them — in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.
The Pickup Artist: Season 1
Mystery: “If all you say is ‘hi’, you win”
The Cocky Young Kid
Being too Cocky without backing it up – we have all experienced this kid, whether it is inside ourselves or represented in another person.
Today I had a prospective future roommate visit me. At first glance, he looked like a complete nerd. Glasses, dressed down khakis and a plain T-shirt. He actually brought his girlfriend too, who was also visiting from TX. Wow! I thought, he actually has a GF (even though she was overweight, she was at least of mixed Asian / Spanish heritage, not a bad gene mix). As the conversation went on, I realized that this kid was actually very cocky! He’s very proud of his degree in CS and wasn’t that impressed by my profession at all. Not that he should be, but he didn’t even express any interest in myself. After he left, Wayne and I both thought, “who the fuck did this kid think he was!?!”
In the SF Bay PU community, occasionally I will run into a young college kid, who is actually quite confident. It reminds me of myself. I graduated from college at 20, and I thought I was the shit. At times, that confidence is a protection shield we use in case of rejection. It was also a way for us to push ahead, to break out of our comfort zone and remain in the protection of this “pride”. I understand them, but honestly now I find them annoying! I realized that I was probably like that to other people when I first got out of school 3 years ago!
It took a big hit for me to realize that I was indeed, just a kid. It was a huge reality check, when at 21 and 22 I was laid off twice, once because of company culture clash after acquisition, the other was a clash with an old manager Tom who I totally did not get along with. I know understand how they felt when I was around them. It wasn’t that I was wrong, but it was that feeling of, “OK, maybe this kid has potential, but he is acting like he has 10 years of experience on me and in reality, I have gray hair and this guy is just out of college.”
In truth, looking back, I always believed that I was a smart kid. I just didn’t realize how that might make other people feel when I would outwardly express my opinions without taking into account the years of experience these people already have. A truly smart young man must understand how to downplay his potential, because his best benefit is to continue to learn from these older folks and eventually, travel a much more successful path than they have. Sergey and Larry saw this with Google, and I plan urge other young graduates to take true confidence vs. overly cocky attitudes to heart.
Patient to House: “You are an asshole”
House: “Then why are you still here?”
Patient: “Because you must be damn good at what you do to keep this job with your personality”