OneTaste on Relationships
Over the past weekend we got the pleasure of meeting some of the women (and men) of OneTaste . I should have done more research on their organization beforehand, but what ensued was an interesting dialog of understanding women and relationships in general. We had many differences in thought. Mainly, the PU community is mostly men, and despite the natural game Gurus ( Zan and Juggler), much of our study and revolved around the technique of the pickup leading the seduction, leading to sex.
There are many of these “intimacy” and relationship based organizations out there, and they have been around for some time. I think OneTaste does a good job in helping men (and women) understand what connection is and how to manage a relationship. Some of their approach towards PU is also useful. For example, we role played with some of women on the “tests” (AKA Shit Tests) that women play and how to negate or go around them. Below are the notes form our meeting:
1. Don’t be played by the game, become a player.
2. Women can tell when a man has been talking to women. Relates a lot of Zan’s idea of “seducer’s aura”. (I found that quite interesting.)
3. Be genuine and real with who you are and the attraction will be real.
4. Body language and pausing when asking questions, giving her some space to response
5. Women consciously or unconsciously test men -it is just who they are – you must be able to deal with these tests on your quest to become the alpha male.
6. If you are turned on, she will be turned on
Now, we realized something during this also – that they are not technique based. A lot of this is based on philosophy and more so “way of living”. Thus, I think these groups are useful for those who have more natural game styles or are in a higher level of PU where by they are already dealing with serious relationship issues. Because let’s face it – beyond the PU and the lay, it is a relationship between 2 people and and in and of itself is one of the most complex things in life.
I still believe in technique, and there are many that teach this, including TMM, RSD, AM, PUATraining (London), among others. What’s important is that the community today has become a free and growing marketplace, where one can choose to learn from whomever they want.
Going back to the nature of women – Maybe picking up a girl is easy, compared to the task of understanding women.
The Creative Class / Singles Ratio in the US
Recently, Richard Florida visited us at work. I was not able to make it to meet him in person, but he was here to talk about and promote his book, “Who’s in Your City”. The underlying philosophy is interesting.
His hook is this: “How the Creative Economy is Making the Place Where You Live the Most Important Decision of Your Life.” He argues that the location we choose to live has “powerful influence over the jobs and careers we have access to, the people meet and our “mating markets” and our ability to lead happy and fulfilled lives.”
I also found this graph interesting. Why are all the high women to men ratio on the east coast? One hypothesis I have is that, historically, more men migrated west (since colonies first settled in the east) and women’s power for migration (income, social status) was less, thus contributing to this contrast. I could be wrong, though.
Day 4: Round 2
I feel an wired itch, but this time it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I simply turned it off. That, and the fact that my schedule has been quite busy that I haven’t really had time to think about masturbating. This is good…
Day 1: Round 2
Let’s try this again. For real this time.
Either the energy gets overwhelming, or I figure out a way to transfer sexual energy into something thing. Whether it is production, spiritual, or energy that’s in another form.
Time Out on Inner Game
Before going out this week, I took a 1 month break from sarging. I had to get my inner game together. I read a post by Steve Palina and even though this guy looks like a total nerd and his wife is no hunny bunny his mind is amazing. In the post “The meaning of life” I found some answers to the questions I had in my head.
I realized that in order to become a mPUA, you must go into the field at night. These are the toughest, most AMOG-like situations you have, and in order to become good, you need to learn how to win battles here.
I realized that I wanted a foundation. When I got sick, I didn’t have that many female friends who cared. Thus, I needed to build my social circle. B and a few others I am working on.
I realized that I wanted a “foundation”. First, financially. Then, socially. A foundation is something that is more permanent. For example, instead of going out and picking up HBs and running the sales cycle for pickups, you own a hot bar and HBs come to you. Hugh Hefner did this with playboy. Celebrities do it with fame and fortune. Even Donald Trump was able to do this by owning the Miss America and Universe pageants.
Finally, I was able to prioritize my health and my career over my pickup skills. Because without a healthy body, you have nothing. The things I have learned in the field have helped me increase my ability to adapt to tough situations at work. I am able to understand my boss (who is a female manager, type A) better and improve my relationship with her. All of this goes beyond just fucking HBs. The moment I realized this, my game seems to have improved significantly, more so than before.
Last but not least, this time around I really internalized the abundance philosophy. I will run a routine many times, often in the same venue just to get that routine down. I now have 5 that I know always works when delivered correctly that will usually get me into Comfort. I started calling up girls who flaked or don’t return my calls/text, and telling them that I will never bother them again but I need to know where I could have improved for personal development purposes. Some have actually called or texted me back with (sometimes) really ego-blowing but useful comments. In the true sense of this phrase, “This is much more than just about picking up girls. This is about building a life”, Mystery is right.
3. One of the toughest things to do is to realistically assess those around you. Who are the 5 people you spend the most time with? These people shape your life and thoughts. It was really hard for me to admit, but a lot of the guys who were “Gods” to me when I started 2 years ago and starting to seem like “average PUAs”. I say this because (without naming names) these guys think they know the answer to life. And while they get lays, it is not consistent and the quality of the girls is just not there. This is going to sound harsh, but I had to admit, slowly and painfully to myself, that perhaps my friends, even my aPUA friends were not as good as I once thought they were.
The friends I have that got HB8+ lays were now gone (One is in Boston, the other lost touch). And I realized that I had nothing to offer them. So if I was them, I wouldn’t call me back either. Truth.
Working at Google, having access to Larry, Sergey and all the talented people we have made me realize something: there was a DISTINCT difference between the “Life Context” thoughts of people who were great and those that are average.
GREAT people realize that the more they learn, the more they understand how little they know. I always have a vision of opportunity for what lies beyond the limitations. These limitations can be based on business (company financials), life, love, or other aspects. Sergey and Larry will often joke about things when they speak on Fridays. They act very humble. And most importantly, they admit their mistakes. When asked if our technical repair shops around Google could be better, Larry replied, “Hm. I think they are doing great. Who thinks the Techstop people are great? raise your hands”. A lot of hands go up, including mine. Larry, “See. Cool. I don’t know, maybe they treat me differently. *Laughs*. I think they are doing great and they deserve a round of applause.” Larry, by the way recently married a super smart, hot blonde girl who graduated from Stanford’s PhD program.
AVERAGE people tend to have a life context of “been there, done that”. I am sorry to sound harsh, but this is true. Many of my friends are AVERAGE people. They succumb to the status quo. They say things like, “R, life is not what you think. You’re idealistic now. I was too when I was your age. But divorce is tough. You will never meet ‘the one’. You have to make compromises’. I have also heard this, “It’s too late for me, I am already 30. When you’re 30 you’ll understand”. You get the picture. We have all been there.
I don’t hate these people, but I hate hearing these comments. I hate hearing these self-limiting beliefs coming from my FRIENDS. While the financial comments hit me harder because I have personally seen many of my classmate succeed to a large degree post college (I went to a school that was well known for its number one entrepreneurship program)… nowadays I get pissed off when I hear these comments made about pickup, because these guys don’t know the half of it. My skills have improved and I have become on par with them, to say the least. And yet, I realize how little I know and how far I must go. Many of my friends are good, but they have stayed at “good’. When asked about why they aren’t picking up HB9 blondes, they will make excuses about the limitations of just picking up girls. While this is true (I believe that HB10+ sometimes require a lifestyle that also has HB10+ equivalent Style, financial and other “social foundations”), why can’t our conversations turn into ideas for making more money? For opening up our own club? I find these limitations frustrating. Credit goes to Stone here, who is probably the only guy I know who I consider to be close to Master level and yet, having gone through a 5 year marriage and divorce, still believes in eliminating “limiting beliefs” as I do. Stone is a Charisma Arts alum.