Part of the incubation period over the past few weeks involved me working on our new site: PUA Lingo. It is located at PUALingo.com. We are still in the design phases so we appreciated any feedback you have. The official launch date will happen very soon. Read more
The Incubation Period
Our unconscious mind is a very powerful force. It influences our behavior, and its reaches are infinite. Our conscious mind is limited, but directs our free will, and power to control our desires. A great study on the unconscious mind and its influence over our business and entrepreneurial success is detailed in The Answer by John Assaraf. This is another topic for another day. Read more
How to Pickup Girls at Work: The Book?
More than 50% of our waking moments are spent at our 9-5 job – should we be able to apply the principals of pickup to this scenario?
That being said, I can’t help but wonder – if one was financially secure and was merely working for the passion of that career, how would working pickups be different? Let us assume that the PUA has decided to PU at work. How does he go about it? Do the same rules apply?
There has not been a lot of research or work around this. A couple of discussion points:
1. TV dramas show flirting at work all the time: Grey’s Anatomy, Scrubs, Boston Legal, CSI, it is only natural when your coworkers are that hot, and spend that much time together being dramatic. Characters that seem to do well in attracting women at work:
James Spader in Boston Legal
Charlie Sheen in Spin City
That wierd quirky dude from Scrubs
Ari Gold, Entourage
2. PU is different depending on industry
I have heard of PUAs who have infiltrated the restaurant staff and f-closed most of the waitresses there because he was the manager. Ok. Fair. Movie theaters, shopping malls. The same story repeats itself on the forums. What I think happens is that these jobs are just jobs, they are not careers. The difference between a job and a career is upward mobility opportunity and a vision for the future. While the girls depend on the job for the money, everyone knows this is just a job to pay the bills.
White collar workers are a bit different. High tech companies, management consulting, the women in these fields are often well educated and can play the alpha female part, whether that is natural to their innate character or not. It is a lot harder to game these girls. There tends to be 2 types of girls, to generalize greatly, at a more service oriented tech company:
A. The girls just out of school, or the girls that just like to party. To them, the career is great, but their focus is more than that. They have a life outside of work. While they take their work seriously, they do flirt and occasionally go out with male coworkers. They try to keep a good reputation, but it is not their number 1 priority.
B. The girls who care about their careers – more careful, a lot more professional, making it harder to break the professional barrier, even at off sites outside of the office. They have developed a keen sense, some of them at least, of flirting, for sometimes that is required for not being labeled a “prude”, however, it is very calculated and not genuine. They probably have some friends outside of work, are married, or dating someone for the long term. Their social lives are important to them, but it is not their number 1 priority.
3. I think it is hard to develop this skill of PU at work, because the risk of mistakes are so high. Where as in the field, we can be blown out of a set, slapped or worse, the PUA generally will not have any additional consequences or see the girl after that. At work, the cost of failure, of creeping a girl out, or even of having a vengeful coworker who you have slept with file a HR compliant against you, etc. are just too high. As such, the rewards do not justify the risks.
4. In stark contrast the point 3 – we are all human beings. Attraction is not a choice. And since we spend so much time with people at work, there is bound to be sparks. Work on your inner game. Continue to improve your passive value. Over time, women will find you automatically attractive, regardless if it is at work or not.
Being Great is easier than being Good
In Jim Collin‘s “Good to Great”, Jim and his team of researchers detail their painstaking research on companies that have started out as Good and, through a process, has become Great. Following “Built to Last”, which explored companies that were founded under strong culture and foundations, Jim received a question at dinner one night from a McKinsey partner:
“Well Jim, that’s great that these companies are already great – they had great founders and a foundation for sound processes, but how do normal companies become great in the first place?” Read more
Business vs. Love Part 5
You know the feeling.
Friend calls you up to go out, there’s an event at a bar. Same scene, same girls. You wonder if you should muster up the courage and energy to go out, or decide to stay in and make some progress on that website you have been trying to launch in the past 6 months.
Scenario 2 – you have been doing well at work lately – new job and new promotion. 2% salary raise. Yeh. You decide to go out more this week with your friends. You get a few number closes, but none of them return or pick up when you text/call. You wonder where your game has gone wrong, and after a while decide “fuck it” and focus on some other area in your life. Maybe you’ll muster up the anger or motivation to call up a few PU friends and ask for their advice, but ultimately, the game dynamics go back to you.
You go back to focus on work, but you realize that you are working your ass off for your company and they are making all of the money. The constant ass kissing and power maneuvers at work get to you. You decide to start your own company on the side. You do some research and work, but really have no idea where to start. You write a business plan.
A friend’s birthday comes up – you decide to go. You hit it off with this girl, and decide your game isn’t so bad after all. You go out a few more times over the next 2 weeks – some nights are good, some night are not. A lot of effort is being put into this and the results of lays is not showing.
If the above 5 paragraphs sound remotely familiar, that is because I have experienced it first hand. I have been writing these “Business vs. Love” posts for…. 1 year now!
It took a some simple advice from one group member, a Stanford PhD student at our MasterAlliance meeting to wake up me, “R, maybe there are just excuses? I mean, when I didn’t want to work out, I was throwing out the exact same reasoning as you. These are just excuses that stand in your way. Maybe I am wrong, but think about it.”
He’s right. The truth is, if it came down to it, I would choose love over money. Because love transcends material things, even this life, money is only a tool we use to trade things of perceived value in this world. But achieving both often means going after something the right way. You want to pickup a girl? Focus and learn from each set’s mistake. Don’t over analyze your sets, and focus on your skill set. Film yourself if you have to to see your flaws.
Waiting for that business plan? It is not going to write itself. Stop watching porn and if you are going to blow off your friends, make a commitment to finish 20% of that plan by the time you go to sleep. These are things that are definite and require energy, but the fact is sometimes this pain of exerting energy is better than the pain of mind-numbing and time passing that comes from doing a lot of things that are 1. half assed and 2. not significant anyway.
“With Scarcity comes Clarity” – Sergey said recently in the economic downturn, and this is another sage advice that I am lucky enough to see working at Google.