Fear of Change
I have become accustomed to the routine. This routine involves going to work for the past 1.5 years, same job, same company. This change has been very different than my past, which often involved moving from the east coast to the west, and the different changes that occur from freshman to senior year.
I fear change now, because I have grown used to living in this apartment. I have grown weary and scarred of change. I have become comfortable and somewhat semi-happy with life.
It is in this predicament that I find myself trapped, or somewhat unhappy. There are some things I am happy for:
But there are still many things I am unhappy, or just “content” about:
Lack of quality girls
Lack of events
Despite cool job, still trapped from 8-5 work week
How do we get out of this rut? That’s the question that’s bugging me, like a splinter in my mind.
Entourage: Season 5
It has been too long. Welcome back to Entourage, season 5. September 7th.
Niccolo Machiavelli on Fortune and how to treat Her
This passage from “The Prince” was a “a-ha!” moment for me in my journey in life:
“To be brief, I say that since Fortune changes and men stand fixed in their old ways, they are prosperous so long as there is congruity between them, and the reverse when there is no. Of this, however, I am well persuaded, that it is better to be impetuous than cautious. For Fortune is a woman who to be kept under must be beaten and roughly handled; and we see that she suffers herself to be more readily mastered by those who so treat her than by those who are more timid in their approaches. And always, like a woman, she favors the young, because they are less scrupulous and fiercer, and command her with great audacity.”
This can apply to building social circles as well.
Taking a Walk
I felt good today. The kind of good that you feel when success comes along your way. Certain things happen and the fruition of your efforts come to reality. A letter her, an congratulations email there, a sum of money here. You feel like you are going the right way. Not necessarily Fortune, which, sometimes, luck has a strong play in our reception of nice things. But these are almost always not as satisfying as when you are trying really hard at something and finally, you hit the tipping point and the rewards start coming in.
I have also been taking walks outside of my apartment. At night, it is very, very quiet. You can see the stars in the sky. These are the cool things about living outside of the city. I remember in the book “Founders at work”, which details interviews with major founders of successful companies that one of the Founders recalls working at a lab in MIT near a park, and when his mind would get stuck on a research project (funded by the school) he would go for walks to clear his mind. When you are walking, you see different people, you connect with nature, and I think to some degree you connect with God. From this, one starts to realize his place in the world, and for me, sometimes ideas start coming in because of this shift in perspective from “I, the Ego, the world” to, me, within this world, a part of this world, in the cycle of life and death of forces that are beyond our control and yet we still have the power of our free wills.
I am not sure if I am making sense here. I suppose there are 2 realizations here:
1. Success is most sweet when you work for it, along with a mix of Fortune
2. Take walks, go out one night and walk the streets alone and visit a place you have never been to. You may find something interesting, meet someone new or find out something new about yourself when you are in unfamiliar territory.