Frame of Reference: How To Get A Hot Girl To Like You
There are some dumbass threads on Yahoo! Answers where clueless chodes answer the question: How Do You Get A Hot Girl To Like You? Fucking lame. Then I saw RSD’s post by Matt281 and suddenly he articulated a concept I’ve been thinking about for a long time: Frame of Reference.
“[Girl's name], you are cute as fuck. We should probably hang out :)”
Say two different guys send the following text to a girl they recently met.
One guy is a fun, happy, unpredictable and playfully sexual dude who has his life together and goes on dates every week.
The other is depressed, angry, shy and needy, and hasn’t been on a date in months.
Do you think that, these two guys, sending the exact same text, will have the same response from the girl?
In fact, guy #2 probably won’t get a response. It’s not the text itself is so bad, it’s who it’s coming from and the intent behind it.
Let’s expand this to a bunch of other things.
If guy #1 gives a girl a compliment, she’s flattered and excited that he might like her. If guy #2 gives the same compliment, the girl thinks he’s needy and manipulative or “a creeper”
If guy #1 calls the day after, she’s excited that he took the time to call. If guy #2 calls, he’s needy and probably doesn’t have anything else going on in his life.
See the pattern?
How fucked up is that? Or rather, isn’t that liberating? It is no longer your texts, but YOU. The same thing happens with online dating profiles. A guy model can say something like, “hey how’s it going” and get a response. Another less attractive guy can say, “hey how’s it going” and the girl thinks he’s a loser and a creeper.
The power of image is really important in life. She has to BELIEVE and perceive you to be, a man of high status, of value.
Before you go on calling women sluts or superficial bitches, we also do the same thing across the board. Scientific studies have shown that people like you and me, across demographic segments view more beautiful people are perceived as smarter and kinder. And, when have we not judged girls based on their looks? The truth is, no one knows what she’s thinking or what she’s like. That’s why I approach 9s and 10s first in a bar. I’ve trained myself to not feel ANY hesitation walking into a bar and talking to the HOTTEST girl there. She’s just as likely to reject or like you as the next girl, so the percentages are the same. Why not get rejected or liked by a hotter girl over a less attractive one, if you don’t know any of them? Read more
FR Wed PB 1/16/2014
I arrived at 10pm to pacific beach and the scene was already happening. Tavern was good and the taco bars in between that and Garnett Ave has some cuties. I wandered to Shore Club and I saw lots of girls head in. I was right. I waited on the beach and meditated for a bit, thinking about what Angel said today. Was his view of the world right? Am I being too soft? Am I viewing a world that is unrealistic and more animalistic than we think?
After meditating at the beach I felt calm, unlike before, when my mind was cluttered. I walked into Shore Club and hung out. Some guy said “nice jacket”, I said, thanks. Its nice to know that these kids are just young and not all of them are douchebags. Actually, I met some genuinely nice guys tonight, for the most part. I walk out and see Angel, when we walk in again, I was ready and hitting sets.
First set was so-so, just said hi to warm up. Another set the girl rubbed moisturizer on my hands and I said, “you’re rubbing me the wrong way” (One of my soundbites from Psych’s homework). She laughs and immediately her eyes glow, asks for my name. 5 seconds later her boyfriend pulls her away.
3rd Set was a beautiful girl from NY. I didn’t think she was super hot at first, but later on I realized she was the hottest girl there. Beautiful, tall brunette, fashionable too. I chattered her up and her friends. She seemed friendly. I mentioned fashion, and she became more interested. Invited her to a fashion show, she’s in. Girls are vain in a way. I wasn’t lying either. “You have a good height, a good look. Style is not bad. But you gotta dress up though, there will be photographers and modeling people there”. This is an easy in and most girls who get validation through their looks are just more into it because they want to be discovered. In any case, I end it well and I see her later and said hi.
A few other sets in between went ok, some of the girls reject harshly, ignoring you or shaking their head. You don’t get that downtown. PB girls are random, the ugliest girl can be the meanest, and yet the prettiest girls are sometimes nice. Sometimes, a super hot girl is a complete bitch too. You just never know until you talk to them, so because you can’t always judge a book by its cover, never take it too personally.
A beautiful girl with pink lipstick stood out. I said hi. She’s with 5 guys. I just bantered. I forgot what I said, something like, “wow you’re really popular, all these guys around you”. She confesses, one of them is her new roommate, she just moved here last week, and is new. I understood that all these guys are orbiters and trying to fuck her. They were giving me the evil eye. I just smiled and said “what’sup” and shook their hands. None of them had any game so no one amogged me. Turns out they are from MA too, and I chatted for a bit.
My girl is super down, and new in town, and willing to meet new friends. I seeded the fashion party. “I’m so down”, she says. She looks a bit tipsy so I qualify hard. “what’s my name?”
Me: “Say, ‘I’m Allie and im awesome” Read more
FR Date: The Chodes Are Back
I went on date today with a decently cute girl. She’s Spanish. Very socially uncalibrated but sweet. Going through downtown I saw tons of hotties but decided to give her a chance. At the last minute she hesitated and I sent her home. Not to be unexpected, she has only been with 1 other guy so I’m not upset or anything. What did annoy me was she kept on complimenting and apologizing after and making a big deal of it. She’s just too innocent for me. I realized that she’s not that much younger than me, and that had I kept going to “normal” route, I would be an uncalibrated social disaster in the guy version. At least girls have some options of guys saying hi and coming up to them.
Tonight. DT SD is back. TONS of hotties. And TONS of dudes. I was a seersucker and literally a wall of death of guys standing there with their drinks. On nights like this, we approached 3 hot blondes and one of them was like “see, there you go”. “Are you guys fishing?”, I asked and they started laughing. Over the last 2-3 weeks actually since thanksgiving the people that goto clubs are 1) hardcore club girls 2) guys looking to get laid 3) guys and girls in the industry. Now, everyone is out. Normal girls are out. This is good, because it gives me an opportunity to meet a wider range of girls.
There are tons of hotties now, evening out the chode level. The guys that really know what they are doing are still there, but now that the club scene is back after holiday season, the average ratio is:
20% fuckable Read more
Per Psych’s instructions I am writing this FR before I goto sleep. It is late but the lessons are important and I see now why we need to write it right away instead of waiting even a day because memory won’t serve us as well.
I was invited out by a friend tonight. I wanted to stay in and work, but I put on my beanie and scarf and went out. We hit up a few sets on the way, nothing major. At Bang Bang, I opened a few girls and they were DTF. 1 was married, and the other was DTF. I seeded threesome (2 guys) as a joke, and she was actually in, which was interesting. My wing J was onto her right away. He liked her. He’s not used to night game so I left him have that one, even though I opened the set. I grabbed the married girl and gave them 15 min. Afterward she came back and I did too and we realized that they did not exchanged numbers so I closed her. But we failed her shit tests. She gave me her number and told me to call her later. I hugged and lifted her. I realized this only works with girls that already like you, if they don’t they find it annoying. Her reaction wasn’t great, so I left it at that. 2 texts are no reply. “its rich”. “afterparty, bassment”
Note: married girl had no game, was kind of annoying to talk to, until she dropped the act. Questions like “where are you from, do you come here often”. She sucked at flirting. After about 5 min when I was talking to the real her, it was a lot better, but most people don’t have anything interesting to say. Read more
Evolution Of the Wolf and the Truth about Wealth
“That’s it. I’ve done it. I’ve arrived.”
That’s what we used to think. In high-school I wanted to be older. In college, I wanted to get a cool job so I could get girls. At my first real job, I wanted to to “make it” and become an awesome employee. At Google, I wanted to be “awesome and Googley”. There’s always something else to aim for before we find happiness.
I think the human mind, and perhaps to a degree the media draw up this fantasy of the “get this and you will be happy” mentality. When in fact, the very idea of doing what you love is the fantasy itself. Coach Wooden saw this in his life (UCLA legend). Donald Trump also expressed the same sentiments in his book “How to Think Like A Billionaire”.
The truth lies more in what Ekhart Tolle called “being in the present moment” and enjoying the process itself. I think coach John Wooden really understood this. We are also the products of our parents. My mother, who is very pragmatic, and always knew how to save money. And my dad, who wasn’t afraid to go after what he wanted. He taught me many a great deal about how to be diplomatic and kind to people, and how to be a man. I think one of the reasons my brother and I turned out to very rarely lie is because my dad rarely lied about anything. And that’s tough given his profession as a diplomat.
Owen and Julien talk about being the wolf, and how It is never “complete”.
The other thing I learned recently is that I feel free. I understand now what it takes to generate “wealth”, and I will never be poor again because I am mentally prepared to generate value in a capitalistic world. Despite his ego and public persona, Trump shares an insight he has learned about wealth: Read more