I went out tonight to game with some friends in the pick up scene in SD. I learned something new
Lesson 1: I met these 2 girls, one Latina and one Finnish. They were eating pizza and I went up and said hi and we became friends. The Finnish girl was extremely attractive, and I befriended them and we went to Florent. She was constantly hit on. It was interesting to see how the dynamic worked between the 2 girls. If you are already friends with the girls and you’re sex worthy, its almost impossible for another guy to cold approach and win. Also, the other girl felt competition and jealousy and it was interesting to see how that manifested with her telling me she’s the good one.
Lesson 2: Night game is hard – the jungle – I realized a lesson from the past – if you’re good at night game, and can authentically game AND communicate who you really are, you are really at the top of social dynamics. Cold approach night game – done right, done artistically, is the hardest and most beautiful of all social interactions. Take sex out of the equation, is it the kill or be killed scene. It builds character. It can also change you, and demotivate you. You have to be careful in the jungle, and remember what you true objectives are – to fully develop yourself as a man.
Lesson 3: Let go and have fun. Your work ego wont want you to. It will make you think you’re too cool. Your existing circle will make you not want to embarrass yourself. Take a walk yourself and be alone for a bit, and see the big picture – you’re here to let go, have fun, and interact with the girls and people you ultimately want in your life. So embrace it, one step at a time.
I believe that 1-2 nights week of night game is good for keeping sharp, and the rest social parties, circles and day game builds more authentic relationships. But nothing beats night game – fending for yourself and going for the hunt. That feelings of being out there, alone in the wild has no replacement.
Every guy at some point in his life dreams of visiting the playboy Mansion. On Saturday, August 27th my opportunity to do so arrived. It was Playboy’s 2016 Midsummer Night’s Dream party, and I got invited by a friend who had access to one of the promoters, and he was able to sell us exclusive tickets that are only available to a certain network of folks.
Prior to this on Saturday, we hit up Tai Lopez’s Influencer party, and the 2 events combined gave us a glimpse of the potential for a crazy Hollywood lifestyle of the elite.
Before everything started snowballing, we had been working on our online marketing business for 2 years now. When my friend BY started, he was broke and working at an online marketing agency. I remember him coming back from work, all depressed, and I would buy him lunch and food because I had just became a bit flushed with cash from selling my Google stocks. Fast forward 3 years, and BY, the same close friend I’ve had when he was down, is now balling out at a level that very few people reach. Our journey deserves another post, but the people we’ve met along the way, I am eternally grateful for. Had we not met these 20 something, self-made internet millionaires, our lives would not have taken this trajectory.
The Playboy Party Timeline
You have to arrive before 8:30 at a designated area near the UCLA parking garage. This is where the check-in occurs. We had a hookup through a specific promoter, and we had to talk to the guy who was in charge of that. The lines move fast and before you knew it, we found ourselves on a bus to the mansion. On the way we met some former playboy promo girls, and they had a thing for my squirtle.
After a 15 minute ride, we arrive at the mansion front yard. I rushed off the use the bathroom, but I suggest taking some time here to take pictures. The area is world-famous, and iconic of the mansion’s image.
The actual midsummer night’s party is crazy. The lights are beautiful glows of purple, blue and green. The mansion itself is blocked off except the main hall, which connects the front yard to the backyard. There are rows of food being served and hor d’oeuvres being passed around and an all-you-can-eat sushi table. Open bar, of course.
As for food, I recommend eating a bit beforehand, and eating a bit when you are there. The food is great but the main reason you’re there is to meet the people.
You have access to the dance floor next to the infamous grotto, only handful of people swam into it. The zoo has parrots that the caretakers are showing, and I got to play with them, it was really fun! The game house is also available to the guests. Bathrooms are handled with 4 lines, each leading to a large bathroom. Couples go in and have sex, I presume. I pulled the squirtle blonde into the bathroom and we messed around a bit, but I didn’t finish. 3 to 4 mixed guy and girl groups were going in at once, so I assume it wasn’t just for number 1 or 2.
I was mesmerized by all the guests, and before you know it, the clock will strike 1am. The security will very politely usher everyone out to the front, where they catch a bus back to UCLA. If you can, I suggest sneaking past the games and going directly the street for an uber or lyft.
Playmates, B-list celebs and local Models were abundant. About 20% of the girls were “working”. They were dressed up as Midsummer Night creatures and paid to be there to have fun and engage with guests. About 50-70 people are actually real staff. The food servers, the parrot handler, security. These people are generally very nice, especially the girls, so treat them well. One secret I learned from fashion shows is that the “non-beautiful” people sometimes are the most important. In a world where no one pays attention to them, be the different type of person who appreciate their work. Their loyalty or preference for you will go a long way. Many models and I assume the Playboy staff will talk about you favorably, and you will get another invite in the future.
A group of girls we met have been put on “the list” that gives them access to all the parties. Basically Hef and his team manages this list, and as long as you don’t fuckup royally, you will always have access to the mansion’s day and nighttime events.
About 40% of the people were single guys, some older, some young, and some as a “couple” group. We met YouTube celebrities, Cooper, Hef’s son, and many of the guys were ballers. It was a good networking opportunity for rich businessmen.
Haters – most of the guys were super cool, but there were very few haters, like 5% (I talked to a lot of people). Most people are nice at these elite events, they don’t want to be bad mouthed, but if you do meet a hater, just leave quickly and wish them a good night.
I got an opportunity to game some really gorgeous girls. Jayde Nicole was there with a guy friend, as was Anna Kendrick (Twilight) with her date. I talked to Merissa Underwood (Miss Newport Beach) for like, 30 minutes giving her a hard time and she was super blunt. She basically talks like a guy, and if your game is weak, you will lose. Patti from The Millionaire Matchmaker was there, but I heard she was a mess.
Social Theory vs. Reality
We decided last minute to go as a theme was pokemon pajamas. What I learned was that if you go “wack” go all the way. If you own it, it’s funny. I had a squirtle backpack on, and we had a snap with all the girls shouting “Vince we want to squeeze your squirtle!”
One of the guys bailed, and if the group fails, you lose the group effect. Also, if you stop having fun and owning the costume, you lose state. So it’s a group dynamic energy and if you go all in or not.
I noticed that 20% of the girls loved Pokemon, and one of them stuck really well. I actually had a date with her the next day. 80% of the girls thought it was kind of wack when we separated ways (there were 3 of us), and we lost the group effect. So keep that in mind when you decide to do a “funny” outfit.
High ratio of 9s and 10s
Because of the incredible abundance of beautiful women, 9s and 10s start acting like normal girls. The same girl will own a club because she will be the hottest one there, she’s actually super nice and friendly. The girls go into this state like “ok I’ll follow what you have in mind”. Even super hotties. I realized this is because she doesn’t know who’s who – anyone she pisses off could be very important, or really rich, and high on the social hierarchy. This, combined with the high percentage of hot girls, makes her extremely impressionable. I saw older rich dudes pull complete 10+ stunners. You just have to be dominant, persistent, and lead.
I ended up pulling a blonde milf into the bathrooms just by picking her up and saying “ok we’re going”. The vibe that’s created by a party of this nature really makes it easy to lay 9s and 10s.
This was the last party that’s organized by Hef’s internal staff. Going forward, the parties will be hosted by another events company. Hefner is a legend to me, someone who championed women’s right, the sexual revolution, and the freedom of choice. Despite his haters and his flaws (as all human beings have), he changed the world for the better.
The playboy mansion used to host A-list celebrities, back in its heyday. Today, it was host to B-list celebrities and people who can afford the connections to get in. Just getting a glimpse of how these parties are thrown, gives me insight into how to host parties like this in the future.
This is the last “Hefner” in house team party, after this one, an event planning company is taking over all the events, and also the estate will be sold eventually to Hef’s neighbor. That said, the Playboy parties will likely continue as long as Hef is alive and residing in the current Playboy Mansion. While far from its heyday glory, it was still interesting to see how these parties were setup and how it can be replicated for a younger generation.
Wedding are fun. An (expected) once-in-a-lifetime celebration of love, bringing together family and friends. Tons of preparation, money and effort goes into the details, and it is important to know how to make the most of your wedding invitations, as well as add the most value.
I did some searching online for “how to have fun at a wedding” and “how to plan to be a groomsmen” and most of these deal with obvious details. In this post, I am going to explain advanced social dynamics at play, so you can make the most of your time at this eventful celebration.
Weddings are big businesses, and can cost a lot of money. Be aware of the financial arrangements at a party, because they can come in handy later on. For example, if you know the father of the groom is paying for a particular dinner, express your gratitude specifically to him. In some cases, one family’s financial power is much greater than the other, and that family generally holds more power of the festivities. They will be the ones who hire the wedding planners, decide the venue, and involve all the guests. Above all else, express gratitude for their invitation of you.
Beyond the financial arrangements, the power dynamics extends directly from the people who are spotlighted: the bride and groom. The social hierarchy will fall into play after the first 1-2 days based on who’s closest to them, and everyone else notices. For example, if you are the best man to the groom, people will pay more attention to you and give you more leeway. You will also get more attention from girls at the wedding.
Because I was good friends with the groom, and his bride and I have hung out before, I was particularly close to both of them and was able to enjoy being really close to all the events, from the rehearsal dinner to the wedding ceremony itself. If you are on the outskirts of the social circle, you can still add value by the following: Read more
For many guys, it starts with a beautiful smile on a lovely body. A subtle head tilt and enlarged irises. She’s hot. Hotter than most of the girls you’ve dated so far… and she seems to like you. Her facial structure elicits a pleasing neurological response from your brain, and her body elicits a different type of response from your other brain.
Perhaps you’re on a date, or you’re hanging out with friends. She shows you signs of interest and she’s actually intelligent. Well, intelligent enough not to be totally stupid and annoying. Maybe you leave her with a kiss goodbye, maybe you walk her to her car in the morning. Either way, it was a great experience. You find yourself thinking about her for the next few days, despite having other dates, or having important work to do. This is where a girl you actually “really like” can go into rotation, and start a “dating process”, or maybe you’re the kind of guy that just prefers to see this one and see where it goes.
Unfortunately, somewhere along this dating process, she suddenly goes cold. Texts get returned slower, phone calls aren’t picked up. She doesn’t suggest another date to hangout, and instead offers up excuses and says she’s busy with other “important things” that aren’t related to her dating life.
This is where most guys panic. Oh no! I’ve lost her! I need to get her back? But you can’t lose something you never possessed. In fact, I would argue that you never truly “possess” another person. They’re not your property. We are human beings, with our own volition and therefore, freedom to spend time as we see fit, no matter how destructive or constructive the activity.
Due to my extensive experience “interviewing” for corporate type jobs, allow me to use my knowledge is job interviews to showcase how this situation can be handled.
How Dating Is Related To Job Interviews Read more
Over the past few days I’ve felt a sense of unease. My subconscious is aware of it too – I’ve been having weird dreams that left me waking up in a bad mood. As I tried to identify the issue I thought about many things, and after 2-3 days I’ve come to some answers.
Walk away from your crutches, even if its your best friend
First, I am lucky enough to have a great best friend in San Diego. However, it is important to know when you must walk your own path. Often times, we lean on the shoulders of others, and in the process, forget to learn that which we should learn to do ourselves. For example, I am constantly hanging out with him, and we play video games. This is great fun, but lately after our LA trip I’ve felt a sense of waste after playing games. So I uninstalled my Heroes of the Storm bnet account and now I have a lot more free time on my hands. So the lesson is, learn when you need to develop your own strength, and have the courage to walk away from your best friend. He/she will understand, that you need time to yourself to develop inner strength.
I’ve also learned that my daytime pick up skills are better, and that I tend to do better on my own. Sometimes, you need to go out there and see the world for yourself, instead of resenting others for “holding you back”, when in fact, you’re the one that’s doing it!
Seeing the silver lining in everything
As a kid, I used to think that if I’m learning the piano in the afternoon, all the other kids are out there playing in the golden sunset! No! I felt a sense of loss! Yet, nowadays, I am grateful on some nights when I can just be in the office and work to my heart’s content. No family, no friends bugging me, nothing. Just me and my work. Sometimes I may feel like this is lonely and perhaps it is, but that’s the way it is for now, and I’ve learned to view it as a blessing, I get to hangout with my friends when I want to, and have my own time without being stressed by work or personal obligations.
Being cool without “trying”
I’ve leverage the ability to be present thanks to Ekhart Tolle and I’ve noticed that when I am relaxed and unstressed, I have an open vibe. People talk to me. “What’s that you’re buying?” “Hey this elevator is slow huh?” I think that on weekdays, because so many people are stressed, an unstressed, open energy translates well in contrast to all the pent up energy that we see everyday. I’m lucky enough to have financial freedom at this point in my life, and I will continue to channel a chill, open vibe, even if I am working hard at work.
Presence, and internal love
Being “chill” also means non-judgement. When we judge others, in some ways we are also dealing with our own demons. Live and let live. This is perhaps one of the universal truths of all religions (which has been killed off by religious dogma). Your own presence of light is enough – that alone can sustain you and add love to the world. Sometimes our ego gets in the way, and blinds us from the spark and magnificent of what’s already there to begin with.
Strive for the best, judgement free of others
I used to judge others or “hate on them” when they’re useless to my goals. I realized now this is the wrong way to look at the world. Everyone is on their own journey. In many ways, my negativity towards them was really at myself – at my inability to make things work. I should have sought out help earlier, or acknowledged that I needed to meet new people, instead of resenting my friends. You can’t always change someone, however you can always love them.
It’s ok to be an asshole, sometimes our mistakes teach us how to arrive at the right solution
In order for me to “find peace”. or reach a point of acceptance, I had to go through pain. The pain helps you get to a point (hopefully) of throwing away the baggage of the ego.
Intimate relationships, savor all the life has to offer. Drink from the fountain
While I used to go for the hottest girls, I now want the deepest relationships in all areas of my life. Am I still drawn to beautiful women? Absolutely. But my fascination now is more than just a physical one. I find myself losing attraction for superficial beauty, and more in tune with inner beauty.
I am still drawn sexually to superficial beauty, but in terms of my relationships and an-ongoing type of situation, I see myself valuing a beautiful girl who has great inner qualities as well.
Banquet of Kings from Fate / Zero
In the anime Fate / Zero night, heroes of the past are summoned to fight for the Holy Grail. In this series, Saber (female King Arthur), Alexander the Great, and Gilgamesh enjoy a brief truce at a drinking session. Their views on life are fascinating and this is one of my favorite scenes from the whole Fate / series.
Despite their differences, each King lived their life to their fullest, in their own way, with their own philosophy: