Owen Cook (Tyler Durden) Talk at the SF Lair

Back in 2007, we used to host talks from Juggler, Zan, and Badboy at the pick up 101 mansion in Chinatown. Those days are long over. Tobias arranged the talk today at the Renaissance hotel and Owen Cook showed up to give us a talk.

For those of you who don’t know who Owen is, here’s a link. His talk was intimate and he relayed some realism to the whole world of pick up. When I first walked in he was wearing sun glasses and seemed bit distant.

As the talk progressed, he got to interact with the audience more, and explained that he had a prescription for the glasses and wasn’t trying to “be cool”. He touched upon several important topics:

1. Putting common sense and reality into pick up. What do you have to offer the girl? If you’re a male model or movie star, obviously you have some advantage. As a guy who does cold approach pick up, you will have an advantage over average guys. Pick up is not a holy grail. Guys who are good or are getting laid get lazy – they don’t have a need to go out. Only a PUA instructor constantly goes out because he needs the practice to do his job. It is unreasonable to assume someone will keep going out after he can consistently get laid or has a lifestyle that gets him laid. Therefore the cold approach skill set – very few people are good at it. At the same time, the OGs who master this, if you put them out in the field, within 1-2 weeks they will regain everything they’ve learned in their motor response. Read more

Lessons from the OG and Visiting Miami

I had a few epiphanies while traveling to Miami this time. Here they are.

1. The closer you are to the truth, the more profitable you will be – business lesson

2. In Miami, girls are more calibrated to approaches. They act more “icy” or cool and collected. There are still bitches here too but the ones that are open are more talkative and less “deer in the headlights” – game lesson

3. Practice the consistency of putting yourself out there unapologetically - as it. “This is me”. The more you do this, the better your game gets.

4. There is a subtle (sometimes not so subtle) cultural component to long term relationships. This is based on mutual necessity and desire. Read more

Why Opinion Openers work

When genuinely curious, opinion openers work great. See 29:00 onward on why that is (Sean Stephenson explains):

LR In Miami October 2012

I did it. It was 7:30 AM in Miami and I wanted to walk around. To sustain the feeling of accomplishment (as far as getting high on life goes, I think this is it) from last night. The vibe of awesomeness didn’t subside until I went to bed later around 1:30.

I wasn’t sure why I was visiting Miami. Alone. Perhaps unconsciously I was looking for answers to questions that I didn’t know existed. Questions like these can’t be answered quickly and I’m sure you are reading this post mainly for the lessons and technical executions you can learn from my field experience so here goes:

Wednesday night I spend dinner and mostly thereafter hung with the hostel kids. I can’t stand the beds here they smell bad and are super small. I was trying to challenge myself to experience new things and not be so attached to living a certain way. I lasted 2 days. But mainly I was hoping to meet some cool people at the place. I did to be fair – there were a few cool guys – if you do stay in a room share, get the coed dorms you have a higher chance of getting to know the girls better and you have more social value as a coed dorm.

I thought these were the cool kids that had game but I wasn’t impressed – most of them drink all the time, smoke weed, and generally have a lazy attitude towards getting things done. Occasionally you meet the talented kid who is on a vacation and in “disguise” as in, traveling and experiencing new things. The kids that stay at the hostel for months on end, working job to job are stuck in a perpetual cycle of a walking daze of “chilling out”. Read more

Fallacies of the Seduction Community #7: Getting Laid Makes Your Self Image and Game Better

Getting laid gives you a certain sense of ease, a sense of accomplishment within.

However, have you ever gotten laid, and then got rejected just as bad one night as other nights when you didn’t get laid?

The outside person doesn’t know what you just accomplished. A new set is just that: a new set. The stock market is not going to give you better luck or conditions just because you made a lot of money on a previous trade. Reality is constantly changing and so are the variables.

Imagine a celebrity in Taiwan talking into a US airport. Unless he’s already hit mainstream here, he’s unidentifiable. Jackie Chan explained this in his autobiography “no one knew who I was!”

Also, getting laid by the same girl will increase your laziness – you won’t want to go out. But again, does LeBron James quit practicing basketball because he’s won a game? He’s playing for the big prize – his legacy. There’s no stopping. Likewise, until you reach your pick up goals, don’t stop. If you meet a truly great girl, perhaps make that decision. For me, until I get the skills I need to bed any hot girl level I want, I can move on. This assumes that the perfect girl doesn’t show up in the meantime

Do not confuse getting laid with getting better at game. Yes, you get more comfortable and your sex skills improve. However, you are still approaching a new set and the same guidelines apply.

Tyler explains in this video why if you don’t go out, your self esteem actually improves. To deal with the “war zone” and constant social velocity out here in the world can be tough:

Tyler on not going out and not dealing with REJECTION