The following story is currently making the rounds on the Internet. Follow the link to read the whole article:
Supposedly, a woman posted the following personal ad on Craigslist:
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25-year-old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least [a] half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a businessman who makes average around 200 – 250K. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000K won’t get me to Central Park West. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
– Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms.
– What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings.
– Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?
– Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the Upper East Side so plain? I’ve seen really “plain Jane” boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the East Village. What’s the story there?
– Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows — lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
– How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY.
Please hold your insults — I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them — in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.
Mystery: “If all you say is ‘hi’, you win”
They like you in sneakers, they hate paisley, and you’d probably get more action if you dressed like a fireman. Here, the women staffers of Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, O, and Harper’s Bazaar dole out advice in our exclusive survey.
1. I prefer a man’s legs in:
A. Chinos 6.5%
B. Levi’s 80.6%
C. Suit pants 9.7%
D. Board shorts 3.2%
2. The most flattering color a man can wear is:
A. Blue 41.9%
B. Green 3.2%
C. Pink 12.9%
D. Whatever matches his eyes 35.5%
3. The sexiest thing a man can wear is:
A. A tuxedo 22.6%
B. Rugged jeans and a plain white T-shirt 67.7%
C. Those Marky Mark boxer-briefs 6.5%
D. A pair of tiny Italian swim trunks 3.2%
4. I like it when he smells like:
A. Nothing 58.1%
B. A sweaty fireman 6.5%
C. Citrusy cologne 16%
D. Scotch 19.4%
5. If I could change one thing about my man’s style, it would be:
A. I’d make him spend more than fifteen bucks on a haircut 25.8%
B. I’d teach him the subtleties of wearing or not wearing cologne 3.2%
C. I’d give away his double-pleated pants and buy him flat fronts 35.5%
D. His shoes. Oh, my God, his shoes. 25.8%
6. When I see a guy in sandals, I think:
A. A simple flip-flop will do 61.3%
B. He’s coming nowhere near my uterus 6.5%
C. He has sexy toes. I want to see ’em. 6.5%
D. Sandals haven’t looked sexy on a man since they were worn by the
Son of God 25.7%
7. My favorite thing to borrow from my man is:
A. His worn-out button-down shirt 45.2%
B. His underwear 6.5%
C. His robe 12.9%
D. His State U. sweatshirt 32.3%
8. The most common male fashion crime I witness on a regular basis is:
A. Athletic socks worn with dress shoes 25.8%
B. Pants that are too short 32.3%
C. Grossly miscalculated uses of pattern 12.9%
D. A suit that’s way too big 25.8%
9. A man who dresses better than me:
A. Would probably use all my expensive hair products 12.9%
B. Is my hero 16.1%
C. Yeah, right. Do you know who you’re talking to? 19.4%
D. Is generally not interested in dating my gender 51.6%
10. My man looks best in:
A. Sneakers 35.5%
B. Boots 32.3%
C. Suede bucks 6.5%
D. A shiny pair of dress shoes 19.4%
11. I like it best when he comes to bed wearing:
A. Those flannel pajamas with the big buttons 3.2%
B. Just boxers 67.7%
C. Just socks 0%
D. Nothing at all 29%
12. I like his jeans to fit:
A. Like John Travolta’s in Urban Cowboy 3.2%
B. Like Brad Pitt’s in Thelma and Louise 83.9%
C. Like Jay-Z’s onstage 3.2%
D. Like Huck Finn’s in The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn 3.2%
13. The acceptable dollar amount for a man to spend on a haircut is:
A. $15 29%
B. $50 41.9%
C. $100 22.6%
D. $0; I’m good with a pair of shears 6.5%
14. My favorite kind of suit on a man is a:
A. Two-button 32.3%
B. Three-button 51.6%
C. Double-breasted 9.7%
D. Sailor’s suit 3.2%
15. My favorite type of men’s shirt is:
A. A dress shirt with French cuffs 41.9%
B. A knit, short-sleeved polo shirt 12.9%
C. A plain white tee 42%
D. A taut, ribbed tank top that shows off his guns 3.2%
16. My favorite pattern for a man’s tie is:
A. Paisley 6.5%
B. Collegiate stripe 16.1%
C. Plain, with texture 71%
D. The ones with all those cute little sailboats on ’em 3.2%
17. My favorite man in uniform is:
A. Naval officer 35.5%
B. Policeman 9.7%
C. Fireman 51.6%
D. My UPS guy 3.2%
18. If my man asked me to pick one style icon for him to emulate, I would pick:
A. Johnny Depp 25.8%
B. George Clooney 61.3%
C. Tom Wolfe 0%
D. Kanye West 9.7%
19. An average man becomes instantly bed-worthy when:
A. He displays finely manicured hands 6.5%
B. He wears an impeccably detailed dress shirt 22.6%
C. He dons a tuxedo 29%
D. He just doesn’t give a damn 32.3%
20. A man should dress for:
A. His mom 0%
B. His boss 3.2%
C. Me 35.5%
D. Himself 61.3%
Most Disturbing Advice on Jeans:
“Above all, you’ve got to buy your jeans tight, guys, knowing they’ll stretch. Jeans that are too big are, in my opinion, men’s number-one fashion mistake.” -Lauren Gard, Marie Claire
Most Welcome Advice on Scent:
“All men have their own scent-whether it be cigarettes and river water or the Old Spice aftershave that his mom buys him-and if they’re sexy, then their smell is sexy.” -Polly Brewster, O
I recently completed a Presentation Training seminar sponsored by our company. The trainer’s name was Cara, and she was an excellent presenter. At first glance, she looked like a regular “soccer mom”, but the way she carried herself was very professional. She moved her hands when she talked, but also maintained her balanced stance and eye contact with the group of 5-6 trainees. She was articulate and to the point.
On day 2 of our training, a sweet woman co-worker got on stage. Her normal conversation style was very friendly and non-alpha, and Cara asked her to change it up to become more professional and authoritative. After our speech, I mentioned, “Cara, she looks great now and more authoritative, but I miss some of her natural character”. The woman immediately smiled and said thank you. Cara’s answer I remember now was a “ah-ha” parallel to my PUA training. Here is her response:
“That’s a very good point. In the beginning, learning a new skills can be difficult because it pushes you out of your comfort zone. And this is exactly what it is, a skill. The way you present yourself will have an impact not only on your friends and family, but also your co-workers, other people of authority as well as influence your own career path. The idea is to develop these skills so that you are making a conscious decision to use them.
The 80-20% rule applies here. 80% of the time, you recognize the conversation frame and respond or lead accordingly. There is a balance between authoritative and approachable. Ideally, you want to appear very alpha but also seem like you are open to other people’s ideas. As you gain these skills, you can throw in the additional 20% that reflects your natural character. This shows that you have mastery over your own projection to the world, and if you choose to show your character, you can. The idea is that you have the power to make the conscious choice.”
This idea struck me pretty powerfully as I thought about pickup. In MM, you follow the A1 to S3 flow. There are times where I was myself all night and had no luck with any girls. These days, I follow the Method and it leads me to consistent n-close and k-closes. There are bits and pieced where I throw in my own natural character, such as during the comfort phase – where I grew up, grounding stories, as well as life details that are all true and close to heart.
If a PUA can have mastery with 80% of his own version of proven techniques, he can prove to the girl, himself and the people around him that he understand the rules of the game. Then, if he choses to, he can consciously control and reflect 20% of his natural personality as he gets to know the girl.
Last week I had the honor of meeting Badboy in person at Project SF. He was quite an amazing guy, both in physical presence and in game philosophy. Below are the notes I took as part of the meeting.
As a shoutout, here is his official website:
Badboy Quotes / Introduction
Direct game works better here [in the US]
I represent direct game
The deeper I go, the more simple it becomes
You’re not picking her up, you are seducing her
Emotions are contagious
The girl is a mirror image of yourself. She will reflect your beliefs, thoughts and how those things are projected by your presence. In a way, you are “picking up” yourself.
Women don’t want to be the one choosing, they want to be the chosen. You are choosing her
Most 9’s and 10’s are very insecure.
I have more success talking to with American girls!
I love other guys. They drive the girl to the club, pay for her drinks and bring her back! I don’t have to do anything. The other guys are my best friends.
• How do you feel? How does she feel? Pay attention to how she feels
• Don’t negotiate with logic or argue your way into sleeping with her. Logic does not work with women. Of the Fortune 500 companies, only 4-5 CEOs are women. It is not in their nature to be logical.
• Don’t change the way she thinks. Change the way she feels. When talking to a woman always notice how she feels during the interaction.
There are 5 emotions you must make her feel (Note: same as BadBoy’s DVDs)
4. Physical Comfort
On being rich and on social status
Club Swords Guns Money
Being “rich” isn’t necessarily what you think. She’s not being a gold digger. It makes her feel the following emotions: comfort, security, protection, power, dominance, stability. The things that evoke these emotions have changed over time.
On buying drinks
Don’t buy drink as a way to impress or attract her. Do it for building trust and comfort after she is attracted to you. Having a drink has become a social ritual of friendship. Calibrate on drink buying. How many times have you thought, “if I only bought that girl a drink I would have got laid!?”
How to create Trust
• Changing location
• Leading (activity, motion)
• Give her something you own, or wear something of hers (glasses, hat, etc)
• Sit down (high heels are painful)- you are helping her with her pain
• Time = trust
• Give something to the girl’s friend, and take the girl (show physical leading technique) and tell her you will come back.
Physical Comfort /Kino Escalation
• High five
• Palm reading
• Smile, relax, “love to be touched” vibe
• Movement of kino goes from hand, to shoulders, to the head/hair, to the mouth, breast, and then back down finally to the vaginal region.
Dominance = achieving things without using force, but influence
Aggression = force. You will face resistance if you use force
[Badboy demos locking hand leading and sitting the girls down by lightly pressing her hip area]
If you get resistance, you are either a) too weak (no motivation or energy) b) too forceful, too much pressure and will raise resistance and trigger “danger” in her mind.
The club is a fake and dramatic environment. Pick one girl and think, “I am going to make her happy for 1 night.” Think about her, not about your wanting to fuck her
The best cologne is the pheromone the female body releases
[AW: was he joking?]
All your life, girls have developed ways to filter out the real men. Be the man. I don’t believe in rejection.
“In love and war, remember there are no rules”
On day 2s
Tell the girl she can pick the time, you pick the location. Location gives you more control
Be unpredictable. If you become predictable, it is game over.
Day 2 venues
Telescope and blanket (park)
Running / sports
Party vs. Emotional Girls
Party girls: confident, sexy, and flirty
Attraction keys: leading. Don’t talk to her, show her with physical lead. “Sex, drugs and rock and roll”, if you are good sex, they will come back for more.
Emotional girls: long term, value building, security and protection
Attraction keys: build value, connection. Have the “we are soul mates” vibe.
Whisper “You’re so fucking sexy” and then walk away (she will think about you for the rest of the night. Wait 10-15 minutes, “now we can talk”
Badboy tells us story about the HB10 with 7 guys, how he turned her around and then shook his head and walked away. She was hooked.
“Stop” like a police sign
Both hands on shoulders turn her around and keep smiling
Hand leading (very dominant)
Hand her your card / number “you’re a smart girl. You know what to do”
Social Circle Game
• You still have to have club game in order to build and maintain a social circle. The club scene is the most difficult environment that will test your social intuition skills. Keep this in mind as I tell you about social game
• 5 really hot girlfriends. Keep your dick in your pants and try not to fuck them. Each will have a circle of about 10 girlfriends
• If you take a friend, be sure to replace her
• “Bait” to catch the bigger fish / use as pivots
• House party – invite 10 girls, 3-4 guys. 3-4 parties later, make them feel comfortable so they will get drunk and sleep over. Then harvest.
• Give the girl a mission, “you bring the salad, you get the drinks” to reduce party flake rate
• Relax, no community guys, no hitting on girls at party
“Being a mPUA is great. For me, it is the chase that gets off. The sex is great too, but I love the chase!”
“My purpose if life is to give women the men they want”