Step 1: Admitting you are not the sex worthy guy

February 14, 2009 by  
Filed under God of Style, Learn about Pickup

A few days ago, TK was visiting us from LA, and in the Mastermind Alliance group we began looking at each other and commenting on each of our physical, voice, and overall impressions on the group. This was done in a very constructive way and it was one of the best sessions I have had, personally. Afterward I really started to look at all of the comments that were said about me, and also how much of it I was aware of. Of importance were: Read more

Time Out on Inner Game

April 6, 2008 by  
Filed under God of Style, Learn about Pickup

Before going out this week, I took a 1 month break from sarging. I had to get my inner game together. I read a post by Steve Palina and even though this guy looks like a total nerd and his wife is no hunny bunny his mind is amazing. In the post “The meaning of life” I found some answers to the questions I had in my head.

I realized that in order to become a mPUA, you must go into the field at night. These are the toughest, most AMOG-like situations you have, and in order to become good, you need to learn how to win battles here.

I realized that I wanted a foundation. When I got sick, I didn’t have that many female friends who cared. Thus, I needed to build my social circle. B and a few others I am working on.

I realized that I wanted a “foundation”. First, financially. Then, socially. A foundation is something that is more permanent. For example, instead of going out and picking up HBs and running the sales cycle for pickups, you own a hot bar and HBs come to you. Hugh Hefner did this with playboy. Celebrities do it with fame and fortune. Even Donald Trump was able to do this by owning the Miss America and Universe pageants.

Finally, I was able to prioritize my health and my career over my pickup skills. Because without a healthy body, you have nothing. The things I have learned in the field have helped me increase my ability to adapt to tough situations at work. I am able to understand my boss (who is a female manager, type A) better and improve my relationship with her. All of this goes beyond just fucking HBs. The moment I realized this, my game seems to have improved significantly, more so than before.

Last but not least, this time around I really internalized the abundance philosophy. I will run a routine many times, often in the same venue just to get that routine down. I now have 5 that I know always works when delivered correctly that will usually get me into Comfort. I started calling up girls who flaked or don’t return my calls/text, and telling them that I will never bother them again but I need to know where I could have improved for personal development purposes. Some have actually called or texted me back with (sometimes) really ego-blowing but useful comments. In the true sense of this phrase, “This is much more than just about picking up girls. This is about building a life”, Mystery is right.

3. One of the toughest things to do is to realistically assess those around you. Who are the 5 people you spend the most time with? These people shape your life and thoughts. It was really hard for me to admit, but a lot of the guys who were “Gods” to me when I started 2 years ago and starting to seem like “average PUAs”. I say this because (without naming names) these guys think they know the answer to life. And while they get lays, it is not consistent and the quality of the girls is just not there. This is going to sound harsh, but I had to admit, slowly and painfully to myself, that perhaps my friends, even my aPUA friends were not as good as I once thought they were.

The friends I have that got HB8+ lays were now gone (One is in Boston, the other lost touch). And I realized that I had nothing to offer them. So if I was them, I wouldn’t call me back either. Truth.

Working at Google, having access to Larry, Sergey and all the talented people we have made me realize something: there was a DISTINCT difference between the “Life Context” thoughts of people who were great and those that are average.

GREAT people realize that the more they learn, the more they understand how little they know. I always have a vision of opportunity for what lies beyond the limitations. These limitations can be based on business (company financials), life, love, or other aspects. Sergey and Larry will often joke about things when they speak on Fridays. They act very humble. And most importantly, they admit their mistakes. When asked if our technical repair shops around Google could be better, Larry replied, “Hm. I think they are doing great. Who thinks the Techstop people are great? raise your hands”. A lot of hands go up, including mine. Larry, “See. Cool. I don’t know, maybe they treat me differently. *Laughs*. I think they are doing great and they deserve a round of applause.” Larry, by the way recently married a super smart, hot blonde girl who graduated from Stanford’s PhD program.

AVERAGE people tend to have a life context of “been there, done that”. I am sorry to sound harsh, but this is true. Many of my friends are AVERAGE people. They succumb to the status quo. They say things like, “R, life is not what you think. You’re idealistic now. I was too when I was your age. But divorce is tough. You will never meet ‘the one’. You have to make compromises’. I have also heard this, “It’s too late for me, I am already 30. When you’re 30 you’ll understand”. You get the picture. We have all been there.

I don’t hate these people, but I hate hearing these comments. I hate hearing these self-limiting beliefs coming from my FRIENDS. While the financial comments hit me harder because I have personally seen many of my classmate succeed to a large degree post college (I went to a school that was well known for its number one entrepreneurship program)… nowadays I get pissed off when I hear these comments made about pickup, because these guys don’t know the half of it. My skills have improved and I have become on par with them, to say the least. And yet, I realize how little I know and how far I must go. Many of my friends are good, but they have stayed at “good’. When asked about why they aren’t picking up HB9 blondes, they will make excuses about the limitations of just picking up girls. While this is true (I believe that HB10+ sometimes require a lifestyle that also has HB10+ equivalent Style, financial and other “social foundations”), why can’t our conversations turn into ideas for making more money? For opening up our own club? I find these limitations frustrating. Credit goes to Stone here, who is probably the only guy I know who I consider to be close to Master level and yet, having gone through a 5 year marriage and divorce, still believes in eliminating “limiting beliefs” as I do. Stone is a Charisma Arts alum.

Foundations

February 17, 2008 by  
Filed under God of Style, Learn about Pickup

Foundations

A “foundation” is something that cannot be taken away from you very easily or quickly (within a few days). In history, great empires have fallen, seemingly “over night”. But usually, things with foundations see waves of change long before the event happens. The Berlin wall, the fall of the Roman Empire, Troy, all these momentous events saw waves of change and ripples in the water before the final fall actually happened.

A personal foundation are things in your life that:

  1. Cannot be taken away by mere chance or little to medium effort by something else, such as an adversary.
  2. Is there for you, even if you leave and come back, having a sickness, “fall out” or otherwise absence for a period of time.
  3. Has potential to exist and continue to grow as its own entity without you

What are my pillars of foundations? A good foundation provides stability, but a poorly designed foundation could trap or constrain you. Therefore, build your foundations carefully.

An easy and recent example of a foundation can be found watching The Girls Next Door – every month, 3-4 girls visit the playboy mansion (19-26 years old) and test shoot for the playboy cover. Hugh Hefner goes out for a night at dinner with them, accompanied by his 3 girlfriends. Although Hef is noticeably old, he has built his empire, and Playboy Enterprises continues to grow and evolve around him.


80-20 rule on Routines and Frame

September 9, 2007 by  
Filed under God of Style, Learn about Pickup

I recently completed a Presentation Training seminar sponsored by our company. The trainer’s name was Cara, and she was an excellent presenter. At first glance, she looked like a regular “soccer mom”, but the way she carried herself was very professional. She moved her hands when she talked, but also maintained her balanced stance and eye contact with the group of 5-6 trainees. She was articulate and to the point.

On day 2 of our training, a sweet woman co-worker got on stage. Her normal conversation style was very friendly and non-alpha, and Cara asked her to change it up to become more professional and authoritative. After our speech, I mentioned, “Cara, she looks great now and more authoritative, but I miss some of her natural character”. The woman immediately smiled and said thank you. Cara’s answer I remember now was a “ah-ha” parallel to my PUA training. Here is her response:

“That’s a very good point. In the beginning, learning a new skills can be difficult because it pushes you out of your comfort zone. And this is exactly what it is, a skill. The way you present yourself will have an impact not only on your friends and family, but also your co-workers, other people of authority as well as influence your own career path. The idea is to develop these skills so that you are making a conscious decision to use them.

The 80-20% rule applies here. 80% of the time, you recognize the conversation frame and respond or lead accordingly. There is a balance between authoritative and approachable. Ideally, you want to appear very alpha but also seem like you are open to other people’s ideas. As you gain these skills, you can throw in the additional 20% that reflects your natural character. This shows that you have mastery over your own projection to the world, and if you choose to show your character, you can. The idea is that you have the power to make the conscious choice.”

This idea struck me pretty powerfully as I thought about pickup. In MM, you follow the A1 to S3 flow. There are times where I was myself all night and had no luck with any girls. These days, I follow the Method and it leads me to consistent n-close and k-closes. There are bits and pieced where I throw in my own natural character, such as during the comfort phase – where I grew up, grounding stories, as well as life details that are all true and close to heart.

If a PUA can have mastery with 80% of his own version of proven techniques, he can prove to the girl, himself and the people around him that he understand the rules of the game. Then, if he choses to, he can consciously control and reflect 20% of his natural personality as he gets to know the girl.