One of the key business lessons I learned was to focus on your strengths, and try to neutralize your weaknesses in the most efficient way possible. Spending life worrying about what you’re not good at is just painful and not much fun.

Ironically, that’s what school teaches us to do. Raise your grades! Be good at everything. Stay quiet and behave. In the real business world, leaders are born from leveraging their strengths and being able to see the strengths in other team members.

Instead, school puts social pressure on us to become best students. When I was in undergraduate business school, the best kids who started their own businesses didn’t have the highest GPAs. They maintained average Bs while they worked on their side businesses. A close friend of mine to this day, EH made and sold a website about student ringtones for $50,000 his junior year. His GPA was around 2.8 / 4.0.

So how to do find out what we are good at? Many management consultants have tried, and business books such as Strength Finder 2.0 and personality tests attempt to answer the question via large scale surveys and measurements.

Well, for me, one of my original inspirations came from a professor in college. Here is my recollection of the story of how I came to become the entrepreneur I am today:

It was a sunny day in May, near graduation time. I was a senior, and was acing my way through Global Marketing. I enjoyed the class, and I always thought our case studies of international markets were amazing. One day, Professor Jeannet asked me to stay after class. I thought I was in trouble.

Me: “Hi Professor”

Prof J: “Hello there”

Me: “I’m sorry I’m always 5-10 minutes late for class. I can come in earlier next time!”

Prof J: “I don’t care about that”

Me: “Oh. Ok…”

Prof: “R, you have a gift.”

Me: “…?”

Prof J: “You have something that is unique to you, and it will become very valuable when you graduate and get into the real world.”

Me: “What is it professor? I don’t quite understand”

Prof J: “You have a strategic mind. Your insights in class on the case studies are great. Your father was a diplomat, right?”

Me: “Yes!”

Prof J: “Your experience helps you see things differently, but that’s not it. It is the way your mind works when you think about business cases. Strategically, you see the big picture. This will be very useful in big corporations and with people that need vision in the business world.”

Me: “Thank you Professor”

Prof J: “That’s all. Don’t waste it. Let me know if I can help you with anything before graduation”

I didn’t think much of it at the time, but a few months later, I became the youngest project manager at management consulting firm located near New York. I had left my Boston school life and one day, after work, our CEO walked me into the bar because I wasn’t old enough to get in! (I was 20 at the time)

Chris Rock says in his skit,

“A job is a 9-5 thing you can’t wait to get out of… you’ll be in the bathroom and it stinks but you still don’t want to go back to work”

“A career – on the other hand, there’s never enough time. People with jobs hate on people with careers”

I would add to that and say, a “calling” is what you were born to do. A career can be forced by developing our weaknesses and strategically going after a “high paying” job. Many of my friends did this by going into finance after graduation. There are no lies in a calling. It simply is. The person becomes the human embodiment of those values and beliefs. The crocodile hunter would quality as such.

My work in strategic consulting was taxing on the body, but I realized that I had a natural ability to see things strategically. My insights helped out clients tremendously, although I did have weaknesses in paying close attention to and remembering details. That said, forcing me to do math and excel spreadsheets helped me develop an UN-natural competency in business analytics and extreme attention to the details. Just like my Chinese teachers, who hit us with a crisp bamboo stick once for every point we missed from the perfect score of 100, you learn to get good very quickly, even if you suck at it J

Thus, my math skills are significant, considering that I do not have a natural talent for it.

I would categorize a level of success in any profession of these 3 things

1)      Your strengths – what are you born to do? What are you better at than anyone else? What talent has God given you? What are some memories from your childhood that standout, when you were able to use a skill you had to get out of a tough situation, or to lead a team and do something you never thought was possible?

2)      Your competencies – these are the skills you develop to have “street cred” in the profession and are required for success. For example, as an online marketer, you must understand email marketing, affiliate sales, and web analytics. You need to know the basics of hosting or find someone who does this for you. Even if you have an employee, you need to know the general framework of how websites work. If you are not naturally good at this, you can still leverage your strength in “people – skills” while mastering these “core competencies” of the trade.

3)      Certain people and CEOs have the necessary resources to hire the right people for the right role, and not think about it. Vincent Chase is good fictional examples of a movie star who handles none of his own business and lets his manager Eric do the rest. But if you consistently do this as a leader, you will always be at the mercy of other people. Marilyn Monroe suffered such a fate when she trained with Natasha L., who became her constant comfort from over medication. A sick dependency developed until she was able to find another acting coach in Lee Strasburg in New York. There’s a certain freedom to knowing the skills of your craft, even if you are not naturally good at it.

Think about your natural gifts and how often you make use of it in your day-to-day life. Post your thoughts, comments and strengths below.

Work. Office. Boss. Emails. Routine. Lunch. Get back home. Sleep. And the day starts all over again.

I did this for 3.5 years. I hate it everyday. I would find every opportunity to wiggle my way out of it, or to find an alternative to the path. I started building my own business, with a partner still in school. We succeeded in making some money, but it wasn’t enough.

Certain people can deal with the mundaneness of this routine, but I cannot. Yet, when push comes to shove, you need to money to put food on the table. You need it to survive.

A plan evolves to put your life in order. To put the life you were meant to live into action. As you travel on this path, things change, people change. You succeed at certain things, you fail at others.

Over the past few weeks, I have gone from pure Ecstasy to sometimes, the most painful feeling in the world. This type of pain I haven’t felt before, not even when I broke up with my last GF. It is the type of pain that feels like a black hole in your stomach, sucking the life energy from every direction. Your feet starts shaking and you are afraid. Afraid of losing the life that you have and the dreams you envisioned.

I started to push myself into action, because the depression alone would crush my soul. I sought help. I went to interviews. I went to see the founders of the startups of the Silicon Valley. There were supposed to be the Gods that I prayed to and worshiped for the last 7 years. As I journeyed along I realized that the Gods do exist, but they are merely mortals in the position of Gods. Their powers were controlled via their ability to motivate others and to organize process and information.

When I left Google I promised myself that I would always live life to my potential. And this has led me to my current journey.

Its not easy starting a company. In fact, its fucking hard. But I wouldn’t say it is harder than working the same mundane job. It is just different.

Recently, I met 2 mentors. Masters in their craft. One is Arash (Achilles). This guy oozes game and has incorporated pick up into everything he does. He sees no limitations where others do, and he is strong in many of the ways that I am not. Instead of criticizing others, he inspires. I am beginning to see the potential not just in pickup. I used to think that it is a “game” and once I mastered the “skill” i can goto a nightclub and get girls. Arash has taught me that this has to be part of your life. In addition to just “PU skills”, it extends beyond that. Having hot girls in your life, and integrate with our mission, your business, and your leisure time.

Another mentor of mine found me. Through pure luck or God’s grace, he is financially a master. He saw potential in me, and has offered me a chance to do something that I have always wanted to, with a very strong financial backing. He’s not a pick up master, but he’s a master investor. His previous businesses all took off, and he sees the waves that happen in business acquisitions and…. just understand how money moves around in the world and how to siphon it.

A 3rd inspiration is my friend EH. EH has always been an entrepreneur, but has suffered losses. Despite losing everything, his spirit remains strong and he sees this as a lesson. He has inspired me and he knows exactly what to say when he’s down. He makes me realize that wealth and love are mutually exclusive, and that today’s global world enables us to create the life that we want despite geographical and political differences.

Without these 3 people, I suppose my life would be in a deep depression right now. Instead, when I wake up these days I feel a strong energy from my gut. It radiates and makes the rest of my body and mind stronger. It feels like I can do anything. This energy fluctuates in strength over the course of the day, but it is generally there… as long as I am walking the challenging and difficult path I am supposed to be traveling.

I had setup the meeting because I dreamed of him. My subconscious was trying to tell me something. Coincidentally, he also was looking for something, as he now no longer needs to work, and as Paul mentioned, the next level for him was to help others succeed, thus passing on the torch.

I made the 1.5 hour drive to Marin county, because I wanted to do this face to face. I wanted to see the man in person and have a heart to heart with him.

As I walked up to the door of his house and rang the doorbell, I looked up in the sky for a second and wondered, “What the fuck am I doing here?”

Paul opens the door, I haven’t seen him since we were acquired and things got political with the acquiring firm. His piecing gray eyes, his stature, his voice, it was all coming back to me now. Paul was very friendly, greeted me like a friend and sat me down. As he sat me down, he went on about how he thought I was looking for something, just as he was and asked me to ask him questions directly, although always controlling the frame. It was interesting, because it was like he already knew what was on my mind and was one step ahead of me every step of the way.

His insights hit hard, and it will take me years to understand everything he said. This I am sure of. Here are a few of the major points that I took down in my notebook:

• When you are in a company, think of yourself as an “intra-preneur”. You feel trapped Richard? Why? Ok.

• Try not to think of it as being “trapped”. Think of this as an opportunity. You are being PAID while LEARNING the skills you require to one day start your own business. Google is your oyster -take the time to learn how to company works and how it makes money and these lessons will make the time worthwhile.

• While looking for other people, seek those made of the same “oak”. Some people get it, some people learn to understand it, and some people just don’t no matter how hard you try. My brother, for example, I wish he would understand, but he doesn’t.
• See this as a longterm goal. A stepping stone. During your journey, you are going to go in circles, it is NEVER a straight line. However, as long as you have a vision of your final destination, eventually you can build and take the steps to get there.

• You MasterMind Alliance is very important – people you can rely on ad advisors and who can assist you in your goals. Brain power from your advisors – example of the Client Advisory Board at our old firm. Find 3-4 positive people with good ideas, who you can trust. This can even be employees at Google! The important thing is that this is not a chat chat session to “COMPLAIN” about life or things. This is a session about ideas, positivity and sharing life challenges and finding solutions. It is important to find others with thesame mindset as you for this.

• Within the company, while being an “intra-preneur”, you must figure out ways to make money for the company. This is your role, and you will learn in this role. It is also required as part of your journey to discover your own hidden talents and skills.

• Let the detractors go. Envy, Anger and Vengeance are usually negative emotions. If you need to crush someone, then so be it, and do it with finality, but very rarely is this the case. [Paul gives an example where one guy at an old company was unable to work with him, and ultimately he went to his boss at the time and made an ultimatum and the other guy was fired]. Most importantly: those people whose minds are filled with this negative energy will be their own undoing. You need not alot resources or attention to people who envy you.

• With Managers, I talked to Paul a little about my trouble with them. He agreed, and said, “Well, you are not good with managers, that is true”. Which hit hard, but now that we no longer work with him, this was really good advice!

• With managers, reflect their goals and objectives and GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT. IF you give them what they want, eventually you will get what you want. You must give to receive. KEEP YOUR GOALS CLOSE TO YOURSELF. Projecting your goals on them will only detract you from your real goal.

• They may be “higher” than you, but in your mind, you know the real score. This is just a stepping stone for your master plan. Once you take care of all of a manager’s asks, you have time to explore the technolgoy of your compan-y and do your own personal learning that way.

• When staring out, use your own money. When you use your own money, you are in control and you do not have to give away any leverage in control. Retain control of your business by using your own capital (funny how this parallels to Machiavelli’s The Prince is using one’s own army to retain full control of your princedom).

• R, You need to understand how management systems work, because one day you will be managing people and they will walk all over you if you do not have this skill mastered. What is the Google business model? Study it! Use this to your advantage

• Execution is very important, and you must write down your goals, and then breakdown the SPECIFIC skills you need to learn in order to become successful at that business. The hiring. The specific way the ads work. How you can get clients. These are skills that may take years to learn, so start now by noticing these processes and ingraining them in your mind, unlike much of the rest of the population, just waiting for their next paycheck. You MUST put money and invest towards your goals, without this it is just a pipe dream.

• Apply the 17 principals of success from Clement Stone, the first of which is a positive mental attiture. This is the start and most important of them all. There is also a level of Serendipity – more examples given of Paul’s personal life events.

• See this as an opportunity:
• 1) to get paid while you learn
• 2) to learn to deal with difficult people
• 3) to deal with managers and pleasing them

• This is a good start. No one else can define your wealth for you. I remember asking a social worker a long time ago for help – I was in a bad place. He said, “Paul what do you want to do with your life”

• I said, “I want to become a millionaire. You know what he said?”

• The worker said, “Stop bullshitting! You must be more in tune with reality. Forget your pipe dreams”

• I called him a few months later, and told him that he had a bad mental attitude and because of that he will never have the life he really wants.

• If I said, “R, what do you want to be? A rockstar? And you said, ‘yes’, I would not make fun of you. I would cultivate it, IF YOU WERE SERIOUS. Great. How? What does it take to become a successful rockstar? You should study the music industry. Past rockstars. A band. The elements of making music, the process of producing music. How tours work. How one reaches celebrity status. The business of producing sounds tracks. The pricing structure of the music CDs and the different channels of revenue. The dynamics of a bank for success. the type of music… Do you see where I am going with this? With ANY goal in life, you must base on merit and take the time to learn the skills that are required to succeed in this role.” (I was starting to see how his mind was working)

• It is the same with making millions and starting your own business. What type of business do you want to start? How do you get there? A nightclub? What are the specific skills and elements of success of a nightclub? How does it work?

• Obtain the TOOLS OF THE TRADE. This may take years, but it is your foundation. A solid foundation, once built, is hard for failure to break.

• Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Talked to me specifically about price margins for our previous business and how this was key in negotiations and retaining our profit margins in the startup. This knowledge took Paul may years to acquire.

• The Artist’s Way – Julia Cameron – suggested read – cultivating creativity in a spiritual way, by reaching your subsconcious into the conscious. Chronicles what happens in side your dreams.

• Plain white paper: What is your goal? How to achieve it?
• Column A: SKILLS I HAVE
• Column B: SKILLS I NEED
• Last but not least, make it FUN.

• “Paul, this all sounds great, it just…. sounds, really hard…”

• Why is it hard? Well, you need to make sacrifices to get to where you are, but these are not in vain. Also, is it really that hard? There are always things in life that will be hard. Try to enjoy the journey. Remember as a kid, building jigsaw puzzles? The beginning is tough. However, the process is fun when you know what the big picture is. Piece by piece, as you put it together, it all becomes clear. And although the first few pieces are difficult, isn’t it fun? Enjoy the journey, enjoy the challenges. The journey continues forever, and it never ends. Thus, see your challenges as as opportunity, and HAVE FUN!

His comments and insights will continue to guide me for many years to come, I am sure of it. This was something special. As I reflected on his words, I also realized how much of this applied to Pickup. All of a sudden, for a moment as I was driving back, I felt like I saw a light at the end of the tunnel.