I’m a supporter of democracy, equal rights and openness and freedom. My dad was a diplomat, and my whole life the theme of open expression and world freedom has been ingrained since my childhood traveling the world with my family. Recently, the media coverage of the PUA community and the response from so called “feminists” have compelled me to write this blog post explaining what I think is going on in a fair and concise manner. For me, the seduction community was an enriching experience when I joined in 2007 where I met lifelong friends who helped me on my journey to become better with my social skills and with meeting women I truly wanted. It also came full circle in helping me become a better man and having more core confidence in myself.
Something that so helped enrich my life is now being bashed in our culture, and I wanted to take a moment to write to anyone who is interested in having an open discussion about why that is.
There has been many accounts of the PUA community being misogynistic and with every group there are the X-Men and the Brotherhood – seducers and bad apples / misogynists. I have been in several lairs over the last few years (PUA groups in other cities) and have gotten to know the guys quite well. The majority of the guys in these groups are just good, regular guys who want to improve their skills with women. Their desire to do is is driven by a love for women and a drive to improve their lives. All in all, these guys are positive, well-intentioned dudes.
Somewhere along the line, money got involved, and “gurus” began pitching products to “get laid fast” because that’s what sold. The outside world views this as the main theme of the community. In my experience, it is not. Go-to any well-run lair in your city and you will most likely find monthly meetings of guys talking about fitness, making money, and improving their dating lives. The essence of these groups of improvement of ourselves, and to establish social ties to help us do this. For example, in San Diego we have a group called “The Mission”, and the leader of that group interviews guys like Tim Ferris and Tony Robbins on lifestyle hacks that he shares with the group and implements. Our last meeting involved talks of meditation and “morning routines” – how your morning routine can effect the quality of your whole day.
I think the reason that the impression of the seduction community is one of misogyny has more to do with the marketing of seduction products, more-so than the actual groups of men trying to improve themselves. This is just based on my personal experience.
There’s already been lots of takes on this from Kezia to Julien to Tyler, The owner of RSD himself (thread hidden) The best summary of this whole fiasco is probably by Russell Brand:
Was Julien asking for it and was he wrong? Absolutely. But did the feminists / white knights get their facts right? They went a little overboard. The picture of the sexual assault chart was a mock parody (albeit in bad taste) of what not to do, and the idea that Julien teaches men to choke women is simply untrue. If you review his videos he’s been doing this for 7 years, arguably one of the best in-field coaches. Anyone who watches his videos and seen him out in-field knows this. He was experimenting to see if he could approach a girl, and place his hands around her neck, as if mimicking choking, and get away with it and still get her to like him. Does he actually use force? no, he’s simply placing his hands there. Does he tell other men to do this? No, he’s just demonstrating that with proper game, in a real social environment, you can get away with a lot. Is this done in good taste? Absolutely not. But forget the facts. “Ban Women Hating Dating Coach From Teaching Men To Choke Women! He Hits and Assaults Women!”. These one-dimensional bite-size news pieces are simply untrue.
Feminist Situation Read more
Re: RSD Hot Seat Event in SF
This is my first “bootcamp” experience of any kind, other than hanging out with Troy Dizon as a friend. I am not affiliated with RSD in any way, although I have been a fan of Tyler Durden’s work since the publication of the Blueprint.
Overall, the hotseat experience was amazing. The cost = $300 USD, well worth the money spent. The most insightful breakdowns happened when the videos were paused, and Tyler explained the subtleties of the pickup.
Section I: Notes I Wrote Down
1. The look. Tyler: “at a certain point we develop a social intuition for that ‘look’ girls give. Their eyes light up and you know she’s ‘popped’. She’s attracted to you. Take a look at where this happens in this video. Where is it guys? when? when?”. I’ve experienced this before and it was nice to see him break it down on footage.
2. This happens all the time, Tyler: “you have to behave as it this is a normal occurrence for you. Like it happens all the time and it is not a big deal”
3. Life is exciting. Tyler: “but notice how happy my face is when I’m spinning her around”. Life is supposed to be exciting. Picking up girls is fun and exciting. And it should be that way. No matter how many times I do it, whenever I get to this point I always feel it.
4. Logical vs. Emotional Selfs – Tyler showed us a video of a classical “good girl” and how she was asking all these logical questions. He kept on engaging her emotional side and eventually walked her home. Most of us related to girls as a FRIEND to FRIEND relationship. But, chemistry comes from relating as a MAN to a WOMAN relationship.
5. Jeffy: “Yeah I am usually like XXX (an asshole). Times 5.”
6. Accepting a girl for who she is. Not judging her for having a sexual side. Read more
In writing the naturalization of game on PUA Lingo, I came acorss a really funny clip of Jeffy and Tim promoting Flawless Natural. There’s some great material in this product and there is no doubt that in the next few years, more models will be developed for creating more internal based game learning.
The original Secret Society post by TD. Read it. Write it. Internalize it.
by Tyler Durden
Tyler Durden talks about the secret world of the player.
Many guys will dislike this, because it implies that women are sluts and untrustworthy. Well, I can only speak from my experience and report back what I’ve seen. I’m also posting in a semi-satirical tone – I haven’t gone off the deepend….. yet…
A secret society exists. Around 52% of people on this earth are a part of it.
Of that 52%, 50% are women, 2% are men.
Of that 2%, 1% of those men are gay, the other 1% are players.
What I’m talking about is the sex secret society – and you are either *IN* or *OUT*.
SOME RULES OF THE SECRET SOCIETY:
1) Don’t talk about the secret society.
2) The priority of the secret society is to have perpetually good emotions in all members.
3) Create shrowds around the secret society, like “all men are dogs”. Hide the truth that women are far more likely to cheat than men.
4) If you are part of the secret society, you will never be denied anything at any point.
5) If you are not part of the secret society, you will scrap and beg for everything you get.
6) Communication in the secret society is less often verbal, and more often spoken through bodylanguage subcommunications, and verbal subcommunications that would only make sense to members. Any other way, and the 48% of men would pick up on it, and it would no longer be a secret.
7) At the first sign that someone who is not part of the secret society is possibly trying to pretend that he is, barate him with both love-rhetoric, and accusations of chauvanism and nit-witted-ness.
It’s OK to cheat on someone who is not a part of the secret society, so long as it is for the purpose of fulfilling the needs of someone who is, or if it to fulfill your own needs and it is with someone who is a part of the secret society. Sleeping with a rare guy from the secret society is no worse than grinding with a girlfriend at a club and making out with her. “It doesn’t count”.
9) Nobody judges eachother in the secret society. There is no such thing as a slut. A slut is only as slutty as people who are NOT in the secret society are aware of.
10) Secret society members COME FIRST. If someone in the society is not having fun with an interaction, it is cut off. Conversely, if a secret society male is with a non-secret-society male, and a secret society female (all females) decides she wants sex from the secret society male, the friend of the female may have sex with the non-secret-society male, because EVERYONE in the interaction must feel good. However, if the non-secret-society male is blowing himself out so badly that he makes the female member feel very bad emotions, then the secret-society-male must face the consequences of bringing negative emotions into the equation, and lose out on his privilege for sex in that interaction, until he ditches the non-secret-society male. Bear minimum requirements for non-secret-society males being grandfathered in with the male member, is that he not qualify himself or make anyone feel uncomfortable. Failing to meet those requirements, both are blown out.
WHAT IS THE SECRET SOCIETY?
Women are repressed by men, and so must look out for themselves. They will take care of:
1) Their own sexual needs.
2) The sexual needs of anyone in the secret society.
3) The sexual needs of the few males who make the secret society possible (“players”).
The secret society is what allows women to appear wholesome and allows them to screen for a long term provider/emotionaltampon.
Women hold off to find the perfect boyfriend, while sleeping with a guy who is likely sleeping with all of their friends, and their friends friends.
They also fuck their gay boyfriends or jerk them off or give them head. They’re part of the secret society too, so they can’t be left out.
EYE WITNESS ACCOUNTS FROM SECRET SOCIETY INSIDERS (based on dozens of interviews I did over the summer, with girls in London England, as well as some from my own experience as a player):
1) If you tell a girl that you’re gay, and that you want to “see what it feels like to be with a girl”, she’ll sleep with you. She won’t insist on using a condom either, unless you do. You’re part of the secret society, where condoms aren’t necessary because they are logical entities and not emotionally relevant.
2) If you subcommunicate that you are a part of the secret society, and tell the friend of your target “I’m really lonely. My girlfriend cheated on me, and I need to re-validate myself tonight”, she’ll tell her friend to fuck you. Her friend will realize from this that you are a part of the secret society, and she’ll fuck you. Moreover, if the friend refuses, the ugly girl will offer you a blowjob to help you out.
3) If you manage to verbally subcommunicate that you are a member (its still subcommunication, because the verbal ways you communicate it aren’t direct at all), the secret society members will gladly tell you all about their sexual exploits and adventures. As soon as you subcommunicate that you desire romance, she will immediately retract all of her previous statements (and she’ll look completely congruent doing so), and downplay them that it was something she did just one time and that she’s looking for a relationship.
PUA: “I love to go out and hook up. I hate it when girls try to run my life”..
HB: “Me too.. I hooked up with guys all last year.. My boyfriend tried to control me, but I do what I want.. My girlfriends all do it too.”
PUA: “Really? Cause to be honest, I’ve always felt like I’m a romantic guy.. And girls always cheat on me.. I want to find a girl who won’t cheat.”
HB: “I would never cheat. Guys are dogs. I’m always loyal.”
PUA: “But didn’t you say…”
HB: “No, I said nothing.”
PUA: “No, you said that you don’t let your boyfriend control you and you do what you want.”
HB: “No, I didn’t mean that. I’m not a slut. I have no idea what you’re talking about, I didn’t say that.”
4) If you are a member, and say that you are really lonely and you need someone to snuggle and makeout with, all members of the secret society will agree to do so with you. If you are a girl, you have privilege to snuggle and kiss and sleep in the same bed as all other girls. If you are gay, you can do the same. If it escalates to sex, its an accident and does not count. If you’re a player, and you make girls around you emotional, and the friends are all in good emotions about it, they sleep with you. No one is a slut in the secret society, because the secret society does not judge.
5) If a group of girls living together find a guy who is in the secret society, they will all fuck him. They’ll recommend him as an honourary secret society member, and enjoy him. Meanwhile they may be in relationships with non-secret society members that they’ve fallen in love with, however this is not an issue because nobody in the secret society judges and sex with people in the secret society does not count. If you are a secret society member now, but in the past enjoyed a romantic relationship, what you may not realize is the part that was left out of the romance novel story (due to rules no1&2 of the secret society code), which was that after you dropped her off your romantic star watching, a secret society member came by and fucked the shit out of her without a condom and gave her the money shot all over her face.
6) If a secret society male has a non member male friend, the friend of the girl who wants sex from the male member will have sex with the non-member even if she doesn’t like him. However, rules state that if if the non-member is “creepy/scary” (kinos too much, leans in too much, asks dumb questions, tries too hard to impress, overqualifies), then the male member will be expected to return either alone or with another male member. Also, the male members must remember that positive emotions are always priority, and if he is alone he must still maintain the positive emotions of the female member who will not be getting sex, secret society rules not to be breached. Number 1 rule of the secret society, outside of not talking about it, is that EVERYONE maintains GOOD emotions.
THE UNDERLYING MISUNDERSTOOD TRUTH OF THE SECRET SOCIETY:
The 49% of men who live outside of the secret society don’t understand the mental model of attraction of people who are in the secret society.
Men view attraction in their MALE MENTAL MODELS. They believe that attraction is “sexual aggression”. They understand attraction as having a physical urge to have sex, and then mentally deciding that you will go after it.
They try to seduce women by touching and grabbing them, and getting them very horny. They try to seduce them in the SAME WAY that a woman would do well seducing THEM. They try to seduce them as if they were seducing a GUY. This sometimes works, and the propaganda is spread – “this is how to get chicks”.
Secret society members will not fill them in, due to breach of the code.
What the secret society members are not telling you, is that they understand that most sex occurs when women are not sexually AGGRESSIVE, but sexually RECEPTIVE.
They understand that for women to be ready for sex, they need not feel horny, they need only feel EMOTIONAL.
They understand that women are not logical, and that they are emotional. They understand that for women sex is not a big deal at all, and that its their LOGIC that puts the breaks on it.
They understand that most women are afraid of sex because they lack TRUST, and because their LOGIC is putting on the breaks.
They disarm logic by making the women EMOTIONAL, so that their LOGIC (which is the BREAKS of emotion) becomes disarmed, and at the same time maintain TRUST, so that the emotions generated won’t be interfered with.
Then they simply have sex, because although the women are not WANTING sex, they are too EMOTIONAL to DECLINE sex. Then, once they BEGIN to have a physical interaction, the women become horny and sexually aggressive as a result, and sex begins.
(NOTE: This is why girls must COCKBLOCK for eachother. Because they know that clubs are emotionally charged environments, and that it wouldn’t take much for a guy to use her resulting sexual receptiveness to lay her. The guy may not be a guy that the girl would lay normally, were she feeling more logical, so the girls must look out for eachother. Guys don’t need to do this because firstly, they will not be judged for sleeping around (no logic), secondly, they are sexually aggressive – not receptive – so their decisions will not be regretted later usually, and thirdly, because they do not need trust because they are not usually in any physical danger).
They also understand that value + trust + attraction = sex (rough lazy model).
Value = being someone in the secret society (it can also be SO many other things, but being a member can in some cases be sufficient)
Trust = not telegraphing interest
Attraction = increasing her buying temperature by making her emotional (emotionally aroused, not necessarily physically aroused.. the former will cause her to be too illogical to prevent you from causing the latter, when she’s ready)
Don’t tell anyone about this. All knowledge will be denied and you will be ridiculed.