Frame of Reference: How To Get A Hot Girl To Like You

January 16, 2014 by  
Filed under God of Style, Learn about Pickup

There are some dumbass threads on Yahoo! Answers where clueless chodes answer the question: How Do You Get A Hot Girl To Like You? Fucking lame. Then I saw RSD’s post by Matt281 and suddenly he articulated a concept I’ve been thinking about for a long time: Frame of Reference.


“[Girl’s name], you are cute as fuck. We should probably hang out :)”

Say two different guys send the following text to a girl they recently met.

One guy is a fun, happy, unpredictable and playfully sexual dude who has his life together and goes on dates every week.

The other is depressed, angry, shy and needy, and hasn’t been on a date in months.

Do you think that, these two guys, sending the exact same text, will have the same response from the girl?

Absolutely not.

In fact, guy #2 probably won’t get a response. It’s not the text itself is so bad, it’s who it’s coming from and the intent behind it.

Let’s expand this to a bunch of other things.

If guy #1 gives a girl a compliment, she’s flattered and excited that he might like her. If guy #2 gives the same compliment, the girl thinks he’s needy and manipulative or “a creeper”

If guy #1 calls the day after, she’s excited that he took the time to call. If guy #2 calls, he’s needy and probably doesn’t have anything else going on in his life.

See the pattern?


How fucked up is that? Or rather, isn’t that liberating? It is no longer your texts, but YOU. The same thing happens with online dating profiles. A guy model can say something like, “hey how’s it going” and get a response. Another less attractive guy can say, “hey how’s it going” and the girl thinks he’s a loser and a creeper.

The power of image is really important in life. She has to BELIEVE and perceive you to be, a man of high status, of value.

Before you go on calling women sluts or superficial bitches, we also do the same thing across the board. Scientific studies have shown that people like you and me, across demographic segments view more beautiful people are perceived as smarter and kinder. And, when have we not judged girls based on their looks? The truth is, no one knows what  she’s thinking or what she’s like. That’s why I approach 9s and 10s first in a bar. I’ve trained myself to not feel ANY hesitation walking into a bar and talking to the HOTTEST girl there. She’s just as likely to reject or like you as the next girl, so the percentages are the same. Why not get rejected or liked by a hotter girl over a less attractive one, if you don’t know any of them? Read more

Text and Phone Game

November 5, 2013 by  
Filed under God of Style, Learn about Pickup

DJ Fuji gave me some very good advice because of my high flake rate with 9s and 10s. Lately I have been getting offers for sex from a) fat girls b) ugly girls but not with the models I’ve met (yet) or any of the really hot blonde girls. It is getting frustrating and is starting to effect my mental state.

Even though he’s not here in person, just describing my situation to him, he seemed to naturally understand some of my sticking points. I have 3 areas of improvement:

Text Game

I lose a lot of girls on this one. Some tips for me were to talk about an event I am doing anyway, without inviting her. She will invite herself. A lot of guys will brag or talk about an event like he’s doing it just to invite her.

You can’t sell someone something until they are ready to be sold, so keep building comfort, and/or attraction via text. The best way to do this is actually via a phone call. Kezia Noble talks about how to do this in her Text and Phone Game ebook from a woman which I found VERY interesting.

Emotional Connection

This requires time. The way to do this during daygame is just to insta-date. Night game makes EC harder to do because of the environment. Unless you can spend some quality time with her or have massive social value flash game, most night game numbers are flakey unless you have solid game, or she knows you from somewhere, or you one night stand her.

There are ways to build EC with vulnerability and authenticity, however in general EC is harder to build on the first meet. Getting her just on the phone without asking her out helps.

Time Bridging

Talk about the events you are doing, if something she likes clicks, she will give you interest. Then you can talk about doing that together. Ask her what she’s doing and what her schedule is like. The point of talking about your events is because you are actually planning them. Only invite a girl to an event AFTER she shows interest, otherwise, don’t. Be implicit.