Chapter 5: Prison Break (I quit my job at Google today)

My resignation letter read as such:

Dear Google,

Breakups are never easy, and I wanted to write you a thank you letter in lieu of what I could not say to you in person. Over the past 3 and a half years you have assisted me in my continued growth both professionally and personally.

You made work easy by offering to feed me whenever I was hungry.
You gave me nice massages for a nominal fee.
When I was sick you gave me the time to stay home and recover.
You even did my laundry and washed my dirty dishes.

You showed me that work can be rewarding, and that people are by nature, good.
You showed me that it was possible to fight for a just cause, despite public opinion swaying the other way.
You showed me the kindness of those perceived strangers you call “Googlers”
Being with you also made me learn how to deal with high stress situations and achieving high goals, and I will take these lessons to heart on my journey.

Rarely, when some of your friends abused their power, (as is inevitable when you have so many friends) you consoled me with summer BBQs and teddy bears, though I know that you had no control over their day to day actions.

Most importantly I will remember all of the awesome friends you were able to introduce me to through your social circle. I met all sorts of amazing Googlers that I will continue to be friends with, even after our breakup.

I hope we can remain good friends as well, and I wish you the best in your future endeavors.


On my last day, the goodbyes were easy to make, as I started at the eyes of my co-workers, some of them felt genuinely sad but happy for me. Others hid behind a general and fake politeness that detaches from authenticity. Even others, better friends of mine actually felt sad and “a little jealous” that I have the opportunity now to do my own thing. I felt fine. I felt like this was long overdue and I have actually stayed for too long.

Playing society’s game for 6 years, I have gone to a wide eyed college graduate to a more mature young man, who is jaded at the corporate game. The social programming that society has put in place to keep things stabilized. Play the game! Work the tough job! Win money for yourself! Buy the nice car! These are all short term fixes to true self esteem and core confidence.

Tyler Durden (RSD) on social conditioning and the state of advertising in this country:

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Business vs. Love Part 5

November 9, 2008 by  
Filed under God of Style, My Personal Life

You know the feeling.

Friend calls you up to go out, there’s an event at a bar. Same scene, same girls. You wonder if you should muster up the courage and energy to go out, or decide to stay in and make some progress on that website you have been trying to launch in the past 6 months.

Scenario 2 – you have been doing well at work lately – new job and new promotion. 2% salary raise. Yeh. You decide to go out more this week with your friends. You get a few number closes, but none of them return or pick up when you text/call. You wonder where your game has gone wrong, and after a while decide “fuck it” and focus on some other area in your life. Maybe you’ll muster up the anger or motivation to call up a few PU friends and ask for their advice, but ultimately, the game dynamics go back to you.

You go back to focus on work, but you realize that you are working your ass off for your company and they are making all of the money. The constant ass kissing and power maneuvers at work get to you. You decide to start your own company on the side. You do some research and work, but really have no idea where to start. You write a business plan.

A friend’s birthday comes up – you decide to go. You hit it off with this girl, and decide your game isn’t so bad after all. You go out a few more times over the next 2 weeks – some nights are good, some night are not. A lot of effort is being put into this and the results of lays is not showing.

If the above 5 paragraphs sound remotely familiar, that is because I have experienced it first hand. I have been writing these “Business vs. Love” posts for…. 1 year now!

It took a some simple advice from one group member, a Stanford PhD student at our MasterAlliance meeting to wake up me, “R, maybe there are just excuses? I mean, when I didn’t want to work out, I was throwing out the exact same reasoning as you. These are just excuses that stand in your way. Maybe I am wrong, but think about it.”

He’s right. The truth is, if it came down to it, I would choose love over money. Because love transcends material things, even this life, money is only a tool we use to trade things of perceived value in this world. But achieving both often means going after something the right way. You want to pickup a girl? Focus and learn from each set’s mistake. Don’t over analyze your sets, and focus on your skill set. Film yourself if you have to to see your flaws.

Waiting for that business plan? It is not going to write itself. Stop watching porn and if you are going to blow off your friends, make a commitment to finish 20% of that plan by the time you go to sleep. These are things that are definite and require energy, but the fact is sometimes this pain of exerting energy is better than the pain of mind-numbing and time passing that comes from doing a lot of things that are 1. half assed and 2. not significant anyway.

“With Scarcity comes Clarity” – Sergey said recently in the economic downturn, and this is another sage advice that I am lucky enough to see working at Google.

Transition in work, life

October 14, 2008 by  
Filed under God of Style, My Personal Life

Alpha, what have you been doing the last 2 weeks?

Alpha: Well. I was basically in a tough situation at work with 2 of my female managers. The situation lasted for about a month as I worked very hard to transition out of the group into a new team. For me, this was a difficult road. I learned a lot along the way. Read 48 laws of power and highlighted specific chapters. Basically, I was in a position of no power, and I had to play the game by other people’s rules and still come up on top. Read more