You and you alone are responsible for your own success
Text Message between me and DJ Fuji
Me: (With the greatest humility I can summon up) I am the best PUA I know. (Exceptions: DJ Fuji and Arash)
(A few hours later)
DJ Fuji: ?
Me: Just venting.
Me: No one I know is better than me. I have come to realize that getting good at game is my responsibility and mine only.
DJ Fuji: It was, is, and always will be.
I have gotten decent at game. In fact, I have gotten quite good. Nonetheless, there’s still so much more I need to learn. For the longest time, I have always thought that “running a pack” gives your tribe power and you can do more as a group. I believed this for a very long time. One of the negative drawbacks of the “tribe” metaphor is that you come to depend on it a little too much.
My mentality became, “Go out with other guys so all of you can get good”. Well. This metaphor is no longer working for me. DJ Fuji was supposed to meet with me last October and we had a scheduling conflict. I have never seen him in field. His advice to me as a friend and his willingness to spend time helping me and others, even though I don’t give him any money is testament to him actually caring about his students instead of focusing on “money, money, money”. Also, there’s something about his background that naturally appeals to me. To me, he represents the game. A short Asian guy (also raised in traditional Chinese background) now actually teaching game full-time. Here I am, a tall, relatively good-looking tall Asian guy. If this guy can run game, well so can I, right?
Arash is the BEST PUA I have seen in field with my own eyes. His execution is flawless. At a well-know, upscale local restaurant, he gamed a beautiful waitress and he was able to repeat this every time we went out. In field, his delivery and his body language flows like that of a martial arts master. Yet everything he does appears natural and congruent. His girls are 9s and 10s, and many of them I have swore to myself I will one day learn how to get (not his specific girls, but girls that are of that caliber of beauty).
Arash has a girlfriend, and he doesn’t do many cold approaches these days. His gaming style involves being in situations that require the girl to approach him. Shopping stores, restaurants, hired gun game. His life is a constant stream of Hooters girls, HB9s at fancy restaurants, and girls he meets at his martial arts studio. He hasn’t always taken the time to instruct me on exactly what I am doing, however he has always been gracious in demonstrating his own level of game. Then again, I never paid him for 1-on-1 coaching.
Besides Fuji and Arash, a few naturals I know are quite good. One of them pulls DTF girls (not super good looking; but ok looking) on weekdays at a local bar. Another one is just naturally tall, good looking, and alpha at the same time. He’s fun to be around and due to this extreme height, party girls approach him at clubs asking him how tall he is. Girls are so original in their pick up lines aren’t they? 🙂
Another natural friend developed a social circle in downtown Palo Alto, and has a general system of pulling girls back to his place in the local bars there. Another 19 year old natural pulls teenage girls left and right on campuses he visits. He lives with his parents and has no cell phone, only a pager. He is always running out of money, and often gets the girls he meets to pay for him or stays temporarily at their place. He’s sort of like Nikki in “Spread” (Ashton Kutcher)
Interestingly, most of my natural friends aren’t particularly rich. In fact, they usually have mediocre jobs and not a lot of money. Most of the “PUAs” I know work high end tech jobs here in the bay. They make decent money. Their game sucks.
I went out today on my own and did a few approaches. Same thing on Friday. I was able to have some great interactions with girls. I realized that my game is generally very smooth. I still make some mistakes here and there. Once I get going and hit my stride, I am very consistent in my delivery and my success ratio is quite high.
As scary as it is to go out alone, once you have that ONE great interaction with the girl, everything feels… amazing. You feel FREE. I felt free. I no longer needed anyone’s acclaim but my own.
In a way, it sort of feels like salsa dancing. You can be on the greatest salsa team in the world. And you can perform, and represent the team. The whole team can look good on stage. However, at the end of the day, can you, as a lead, dance with another girl and lead her properly? No one else can do this for you. Even the best coaches can only give you direction on the side. The power of YOU to dictate the immediate future of the tonality, frame, and emotions generated by your actions is INCREDIBLE. Once understood, we stop making excuses and allow ourselves to take full credit and responsibility for our pick up success.
My next step will be to build up a social circle of female friends, simply by solo sarging. If I can do this alone, I will have my own acclaim and no longer will I need the approval nor help of others. Furthermore, I expect that I will run into some other natural players on the way, and in building up such a lucrative circle, I will be able to offer them some value in return.
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