Do Not Shine Your Light Where It Is Not Welcomed

I am feeling strong mixed emotions right now and am compelled to write this post. Perhaps it will be a rambling of sorts however in deciphering this rambling for myself I believe that within this lies very important lessons in game and life.

Looks Matter. Here’s How

I think the whole idea that looks don’t matter for guys is complete bullshit. There. I said it.

Your looks matter, a lot.

I am a deep guy. I am above average good looking. Like, a 7 or 8. However, I am (not yet) model looking. I am ashamed to say this, but I have slept with girls who only liked me for my looks, and I have seen other guys sleep with girls with boyfriends primarily based on their looks alone. I have seen girls choose guys over looks.

Scientifically, it has been proven (The Survival Of The Prettiest) that women will sleep with men who appear to have dominant traits during ovulation and more passive traits when raising a child. Obviously, from these casual sex sessions, girls will start to develop more intimate relationships with these “alpha” guys.

That is just a fact of life, whether you have different internal values or not, the dating game skews in this direction on a macro level. To change the game would require a cultural and perhaps biological change.

My roommate is a good looking guy. Better looking than me, which is hard for me to admit. He has this girl that we picked up who choose him just for his looks. Obviously, they are together now for more than that, however that was the catalyst for his success. He knows he can do better, but he doesn’t take action. Therefore, he’s stuck with this girl who he is somewhat “satisfied” with and decently cute, but not the super hottie that most guys want.

There aren’t a lot of male model biographies, however one of them is from Bruce Hulse, and in his memoir he details the lucid events of girls hooking up with him, simply based on his looks alone.

So anyone that says looks don’t matter for guys – it does. It matters in the sense that you will get opportunities and easier, smoother progress alone the game continuum.

Now, some good looking guys are chodes, and settle for girls too. The long term prospects of looks can be devastating, because it diminishes character and makes one lazy. Too many male models are retarded and often lack proper skills to make a living outside of modeling.

But as a deeper guy who is actually intelligent, a good look can be devastatingly dangerous, and one without this bonus can be passed on in the brief game of dating very quickly.

You can mitigate the damage, or enhance your physical bonuses, through things like style, social proof, social circle. With the exception of style, these other things take time to build. You can also play the game in hard mode via game – the controlled, natural display of attractive male characteristics to bed the girl.


Game basically skips over this social veneer and launches you into the artist realm. So, you start developing roots, congruence, and a deeper understanding and connection with people. For beginners, game takes time to display. For experts, male social value can be displayed relatively quickly, depending on adaptability, quick thinking, and circumstances.

A bad looking dude with game can be dangerous, and he may need to approach more girls because naturally he will face some percentage of girls who are racist / think’s he’s too short /bald / ugly / whatever. About 2-10% of girls will write him off. The other 40% will give you a slight margin of error, and the remaining girls are fair game. The good looking guy will get 80% of girls to give him a slightly large margin of error.

The bad looking dude can use game to mitigate this social preference. He can use social proof, or own a club, or build a social circle full of cool, awesome friends. However, these are all secondary traits instead of primary ones.

So from a cold approach, instant fuck or instant date perspective, the good looking guy with the equal amount of game has a significant advantage. Now, that’s why we teach style so that the bad looking dude becomes normal looking, or even above average. In this sense, his game, now combined with his new look lands him in the “good looking and cool” category of sex worthy guys.

From The Source of Hot Girls

I have had several experiences with female friends. I’ll be honest here with you.

  1. M, is a perfect 10. I dated her briefly and we’re friends. By pure 10 I mean, tall, blonde, soft, feminine voice, model-like, gorgeous face, every guy agrees she’s a 10. Speaking with her, she looks for guys who have a certain trait. However she won’t date guys who are short. She also had a 2 year old kid, and therefore her preference is more mature. She won’t tel me about her hookups, as she skipped the subject, however I would assume that she prefers good looking guys. However, she’s at a stage where as a single mom, she’s open to relationships with other types of guys. She’s also a modest person, and doesn’t consider herself a 10. This fact lends credence that really, any guy who has the right stuff can get her.
  2. E, is a blonde who is not hot, but has high standards. Her high standards come from her inability to compete for the guys she wants with her other blonde friends. As such, it is harder for her. I suspect that any guy with the right confidence can game her, however her inferiority complex extends beyond her looks into how she deals with her own challenges and perception of value in her life.
  3. L, my last GF, beautiful blonde. Some would day she’s a 10, I would give her a solid 8 or 9. She’s not as experienced in bed, but she’s super tall (6 foot) and has a nice personality. She can be quite judgmental on guys who look a certain way, however she gives more value to his confidence – all the guys she dated “fizz” out and lose their mojo. They start giving into her beauty. She’s a deep person and very ambitious, and her priorities are not fucked up – she doesn’t hook up regularly and she looks for guys with a core sense of self.
  4. E2, is an acquaintance -a European girl we met she parties a lot. She’s pretty hot. Most guys would want to sleep with her. However, her priorities are fucked up. She judges based on looks alone and surface level traits like money, race, social standing, etc.
All these 4 girls represent different mentalities and differences in the value perception in the dating game.
  1. A look looking guy can have a chance of fucking M and L, and definitely fuck E and E2.
  2. A normal looking dude with great game has a chance with all of them, except E or E2 if he possesses a certain quality that they don’t like.
  3. And, an ugly dude will probably have no shot with E and E2, and with M, if he’s short, he’s out. He may have a shot with L because she’s the only one who values “core values” without prejudice.
More Time = Less Looks Matter
Now, of course, opinions change over time, and if the guy had regular access to these girls (i.e. Hefner) he can craft his image and they get to know the real him. However, for ONS in a nightclub environment, these traits simply cannot be conveyed that quickly, and therefore, the looks competition can be fierce. The good news is that looks and congruence and male dominance accounts close to 50/50 in this game, as opposed to the 90-10 for guy hookups.
These variables also don’t take into account numbers. A great PUA hits LOTS of sets. Hes’ going to run into M, L, E and E2 and other girls who don’t care about looks. Naturally, due to his game sense and experience, he’s going after the biggest prize with his hunt that he can attain. So because of the population explosion, your looks no longer matter in the sense that there are so many girls now with different mental maps.
Please understand I am not promoting any message here that says looks do matter or don’t. I do think, however, that the marketing messaging and incentive for money in the industry has resulted in a brief, inadequate understanding of how looks really matter for men. If you looked at the scientific data, you will realize that looks play a role in the mating game. Perhaps one may truly understand this and use it to their advantage. I think the problem is that most of these things cannot be changed, and therefore a focus on game alone is the seduction community’s salvation.
But I will argue that as I read more about the science of looks, I am able to make decisions for myself. For example, a scruffy 3 day no shave look is attractive to women, and I am willing to pay the price of trimming my beard and not shaving it. However, I also know that a strong jawline is attractive to women, but I am not going to risk the injuries that may occur for that procedure, the risks are too high. In a sense, I am making an accurate decision based on data about masculine chins / faces.
My friends say I am obsessed with looks and I agree – going down this path will send you into depression, or a feeling of despair that the world is this way. Please do not travel this path I have traveled. I will say this: we need to better understand, via data, the true implication of looks. From there, we take it for what it is, no more, but no less.
In short, I will summarize by saying:
  1. Good looks can compensate for a lack of game, or allow a guy of modest game to get really hot girls with less effort.
  2. Normal looks with great game is enough to game super hot girls, as long as you go through the numbers and run tight game. Most guys will fall into this category upon a style makeover and working on improving your body, style, and vibe. I currently fall into this category, and into category 1 with Asian girls.
  3. Fixing bad looks is crucial to increasing your margin of error with girls.
  4. Whatever your looks, good game and secondary elements like planning, social circle, preselection can supersede cold approach, “stranger” game. You will need a little more time, and more planning, and going through some random chicks (numbers) who just qualify based on surface level values like race, height, accent, etc.
So Tyler (RSD) was right – Game supersedes all. However I believe it is important to understand why it supersedes all and gain a true, scientific understanding of how looks matter or don’t.
Batman does great with his planning, money and leadership. But imagine if he had superman’s powers. What would happen then? If he wanted to, he could rid the world of crime, perhaps.
How To Deal With People Who Dislike You

Never compromise your values to get the girl. The effect is opposite of what you expect. I learned this the hard way by chasing. The girls don’t follow and run away. The feeling of them running away is slightly negative, but what’s worse if my feeling of myself. I feel ashamed – I just compromised my values – I feel used – for a chance to get laid. Ironically if I stuck to my values and walked away, the chances of her actually coming back, albeit still low, would have been at its best. Because even with your enemies or people you dislike, you can respect their decision on certain events. But all is lost if that person loses their conviction and betrays their own code of conduct.

You will die one day, and in facing death, one appreciates life. In understanding this concept, I realized that I no longer need to put up with girls who don’t like me. In truth, in my mind I’m thinking “these bitches – fuck ’em”. But I am also trying to transcend specific, petty events into the larger battle of the frame or issue. That is to say, never mind E2 tonight .What about ALL the girls who wouldn’t fuck me because they thought they could do better? Why does this trend happen? How to I change this trend (instead of her, because there are others like her). Instead of stressing over that one person, how to you learn to deal with everyone in your life who will not like you, for whatever reason? That is the true power of a artist.

I always remember at Google one time Eric Schmidt got a really rude comment from a guest at the SEM convention. The guy was a real asshole he was invited to Google and yet asked a rather insulting, rude question about Google “monopolizing” certain features on phones.

The whole crowd was booing his bad manners and attitude, and tone.

Eric did something I will never forget.

He smiled. And then said, “Thank you for your feedback. I understand your concern”

That was the mark of a true leader. He thanked his enemy, and perhaps even neutralized him. He understands that to win the game of war, this single person is nothing. Rather, he’s fighting the cause -the power, the decision that come from Google’s entry into mobile phones, and how reality will be changed. Thus his battle is no longer happening between the pettiness of politicians of businessmen, but rather, his battle is one of ideology and a symbol, much like The Joker and Batman representing Chaos vs. Justice and Order.

I want slutty, hot girls. I want to fuck all of them. I also want to be deeply involved in intimacy. I want to develop my good looks, and my game. My frame is that of a Hugh Hefner of another generation. Our pursuits of our own happiness and out ability to build a social platform to help others. To do this, I must look beyond the single bitches and into the future, the vision.

That said, don’t bottle up your emotions, say “fuck that bitch, I’m fucking alphawolf” and cut her off and don’t look back. Understand the level of the game and life battle you’re fighting at, and elevate to a new level.

Update: I woke up this morning and after speaking with my friend (who was there last night) realized that I was mad that the girl I was with wasn’t feeling me. And, as a PUA, that was frustrating to me. Like my training dictated, I did the right thing and kept being polite. However, I started gaming other girls. Well too. At one point in the night, I got up from our seating area, walked over to a group of 4 girls, and they offered us drinks and we chatted with them. This was in full view of the group. When we were done 20 minutes later they already walked out of the bar. I’m sure they saw us.

My friend said something to me that resonated: you’re always going to meet some girls who dislike you for whatever reason, so be ok with that. It is part of the game. The only hard part was that I was driving those girls home and there was no chemistry, so it was logistically a bit annoying for me. Nonetheless, that’s the game. Don’t hate it, don’t get angry, just move on.

I also noted to him that the girl I was with seemed to have no interest whatsoever. Usually there’s always some “gradient” of game, as in, she’s receptive to something, but the girl last night seemed completely close off – as if she’s already made a decision to not be sexually attracted to me. And, in all honesty, that feeling sucks. It creates contempt. At least for me, it does. Perhaps there’s a better way to do it. I’ve had girls I liked that didn’t like me back, but I’ve never felt this way about it before. I think the hotter the girl is, and depending on how she handles her responses, the more angry the guy gets. Keep in mind, that I still feel like something is missing here. As in, why did I get so angry? She was denying me my basic feeling to feel like a man. As in, even if she wasn’t interested in me, she could have acknowledged that I was, in fact, a man, a sexual being. And she didn’t do that. She also mentioned how another guy got mad at her on another night, and this seems to be a reoccurring pattern.

When I talk to black or Asian girls, yes, I know most of the time, I am not going to sleep with them, but I still flirt and acknowledge them as girls. I give them that respect. And I think sometimes others who don’t share that incur the wrath of others. As in, they totally even ignore them as human beings and dissuade any and ALL advances, or actions that can be interpreted as advanced.

I get it now: she thought we were low value, and it was obvious that she thought we were low value. That creates contempt. At least give the courtesy of pretending otherwise.

Like what you've read?
  • Over 12,000 people who are serious about improving their style and dating lives have downloaded my free "10 Style Tips That Makes Any Man Sexy" ebook. Just click on the green button below to change your life:

  • Speak Your Mind

    Tell us what you're thinking...
    and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!