Frame of Reference: How To Get A Hot Girl To Like You

There are some dumbass threads on Yahoo! Answers where clueless chodes answer the question: How Do You Get A Hot Girl To Like You? Fucking lame. Then I saw RSD’s post by Matt281 and suddenly he articulated a concept I’ve been thinking about for a long time: Frame of Reference.


“[Girl’s name], you are cute as fuck. We should probably hang out :)”

Say two different guys send the following text to a girl they recently met.

One guy is a fun, happy, unpredictable and playfully sexual dude who has his life together and goes on dates every week.

The other is depressed, angry, shy and needy, and hasn’t been on a date in months.

Do you think that, these two guys, sending the exact same text, will have the same response from the girl?

Absolutely not.

In fact, guy #2 probably won’t get a response. It’s not the text itself is so bad, it’s who it’s coming from and the intent behind it.

Let’s expand this to a bunch of other things.

If guy #1 gives a girl a compliment, she’s flattered and excited that he might like her. If guy #2 gives the same compliment, the girl thinks he’s needy and manipulative or “a creeper”

If guy #1 calls the day after, she’s excited that he took the time to call. If guy #2 calls, he’s needy and probably doesn’t have anything else going on in his life.

See the pattern?


How fucked up is that? Or rather, isn’t that liberating? It is no longer your texts, but YOU. The same thing happens with online dating profiles. A guy model can say something like, “hey how’s it going” and get a response. Another less attractive guy can say, “hey how’s it going” and the girl thinks he’s a loser and a creeper.

The power of image is really important in life. She has to BELIEVE and perceive you to be, a man of high status, of value.

Before you go on calling women sluts or superficial bitches, we also do the same thing across the board. Scientific studies have shown that people like you and me, across demographic segments view more beautiful people are perceived as smarter and kinder. And, when have we not judged girls based on their looks? The truth is, no one knows what  she’s thinking or what she’s like. That’s why I approach 9s and 10s first in a bar. I’ve trained myself to not feel ANY hesitation walking into a bar and talking to the HOTTEST girl there. She’s just as likely to reject or like you as the next girl, so the percentages are the same. Why not get rejected or liked by a hotter girl over a less attractive one, if you don’t know any of them?

I used feel anger, even hatred at “club girls” or “the club scene”. I thought it enhances the most base animalistic instincts. Add alcohol and scantily-clad women. But I didn’t invent human nature. I didn’t dictate how women should behave. Now I just feel peace, I accept reality for what it is. I genuinely cared about my former girlfriends and no amount of money, or fade to their looks or health problems would have mattered to me because I loved them unconditionally. The last one, in particular. But she left me. And I was the one who suffered. I’m sure she did too, but it was her choice, and I am left having given my heart out 100%. You can probably tell I’m still residing some residue anger but that’s the truth and I’m ok with that now.

I value my friendships more than anything. Loyalty, integrity, truth, seeker of truth. Anyone who deviates from this used to bother me about 1-2 days ago. Now, I just accept that this is human nature. I don’t condone it, nor do I judge it. I try to understand, and realize that in the past, I’ve thought like that too.

While I don’t enjoy clubs all that much, I do meet a lot of girls there, and sometimes they are fun. They are good people too. Lawyers, doctors, occasionally group together with coworkers and go out. We all have deep needs and fantasies we need fulfilled.

I am taking on this persona for now of the guy who accepts all things and morally do not judge others. Instead, I try to navigate the waters to my advantage, and to the advantage of my close friends and tribe members. Maybe one day I will graduate to a Tribe Level 4 leader, but until now, I am operating at a high Tribe 3 mentality. (This is a Tribal Leadership reference)

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