Weekend Lessons 1.20.2013

I wanted to get this down before I went to sleep as I have been in field for the last 48 hours and have learned a lot and hopefully sharing these here with you will help you with your game. Last 48 hours I:

  1. Slept with 1 girl
  2. Opened 50+ girls
  3. Got rejected 20+ times
  4. Got about 8-10 solid contacts
  5. Made out with 1 girl in less than 30 seconds
  6. Made some really cool friends at a genuine level

Lesson 1: People can be very nice or very mean, they live in their own head space of reality.

I had girls who were extremely friendly, staying and chatting with us for 30 minutes, even though she’s in a relationship. I’ve also had girls who ignored me completely. When I got home tonight I got an random email from a girl on OkCupid just saying something to the effect of message 1: Hey if you don’t know what I’m talking about in my profile I’m not interested. Her second message was something to the effect of “You make sexual harassment jokes. fuck off”. This is in response to  my contractor writing: “My girl friends tell me you may already have 330+ emails by now from guys saying “hi you’re cute”.

I was about to write a scarring reply when I decided to just block her because it was a waste of my time. Funny thing was, she was a fattie! I thought about it a bit and maybe the fact that she wasn’t getting that many emails upset her, and that my “girl friends” were just hotter. Whatever her head is thinking, I have no clue. Nonetheless, you see how focusing on something like this is a waste of time? When they asked Hugh Hefner, how, back in the 1950s, when he bought the Playboy clubs at a loss in order to let both black and white folks in, he replied, “It is hard to people today to imagine what it was like back then, the racial segregation. To me, for reasons I still cannot comprehend today, people thought blacks were not allowed in the Playboy clubs. We disagreed with that notion, and sometimes, controversy is the way to change things.”

Of the 50+ approaches I did this Fri/Sat, the overwhelming majority like except 1-2 that ignored me were very nice and friendly. For this reason, we should keep an ego-less state and open mind when interpreting how others think and how they arrive at their decisions. And, with COLD approaching, NEVER take anything seriously or personally, until you establish a second date or get to see the person after the 7 hour time frame.

Lesson 2: Friendships are more important than girl’s reactions

Your friends are in battle with you during “sarging days”. Much like the marine trusts that his comrade will cover him under the fire of bullets, the wing is supposed to help and assist you in field. Not only that, you are good friends. A visiting scholar from Amsterdam taught me this. He wasn’t the best PUA, but he was always a good friend. Helped out whenever he could. The girls reactions are meaningless. Focus on how to develop stronger bonds with your friends and your wings. Your female friends can also be great wings, so genuinely befriend them. If sex happens, great, but never make that the focus point of your relationship.

Be aware of your wing’s level of selfishness and jealousy. Recognize their core identities quickly. Choose your friends wisely, but when chosen, give them the best intentions possible. Don’t be afraid to set your own rules for the company you keep.

Lesson 3: The way you view the world effects ALL of your relationships

I winged with a guy this weekend who was selfish. I winged him brilliantly – he got laid by what I considered to be a dime piece European blonde. The favor was not appreciated. We got into a discussion before I decided to leave tonight. In short, he explains that he doesn’t see these things. I think its BS, and that he’s just doesn’t care on some level. His desire to seek a girl to solve his personal problems will never be fulfilled, because that’s damage he needs to repair himself. The analogy here is the boat with holes. You can keep pouring water out to keep the boat afloat, but if the fundamental structure of the boat bridge is never fixed, water will always come in and ruin the interior. Some people like their lives this way, until the day they sink.

boat leaking water

Others view the world as a safe zone – they are turtles. Everything is “safe” or planned, and anything too much out of their comfort zone they will shy away from. Society has about 20-25% of this. For good reason – careful people survived the predators and ice age. But we live in an opportunistic, technologically driven age. This type of behavior doesn’t pay off. Nonetheless, my point is, the safe ones view the world in terms of risk. They see everything wrong with taking risks, and always allow potential problems to prevent them from doing something. Thus, their relationships are also defensive – they fix leaks here and there, but they never take the opportunity to challenge a friend in a genuine way, or take the opportunity to say how they really feel.

Others, more like myself, see the world as opportunity and risk – we sometimes fail to recognize that people have different views of the world, and that what we consider “fun, calculated risk” means “death” to another person unconsciously. Evolutionary theories suggest that the 4 “types” of personalities exists in all humans and some mammals, as society needs a balance of risk takes and “nurturers” to survive and adapt to changing weather and habitat conditions.

Lesson 4: Wings, friends, all you can control is yourself.

In a big group, people have a variance of ambitions, love, hate, what they want to do that day, bathroom breaks, hunger, they want to rest, they want to meet new people, all of this requires coordination. It takes a good bond and good leader to do a group even and make everyone involved and happy at the end of the day. Sometimes, your wings will be awesome and back you 100%. Other times, they will completely disappoint you. Regardless, you and you alone control you thoughts, desires, actions. And as a social artist,you can recognize group patterns and personal desires to navigate towards your goals, within your own value system that you set for yourself. So my point is, don’t let even your closest friends limit you to what you believe you are capable of that night. In most cases, you can achieve and get the girl you want and still keep peace within the group.

Lesson 5: Genuine Girl Friends

For the LONGEST time until recently I had no idea how to talk to girls and chill with them. I realize now that you need to make an effort, a big one, if you have never really had close female friend to be friends with one. Like any friendship, it takes work, and certain core values must overlap. I realize now that I am best with girls who are down to earth, and sexually open minded. This doesn’t mean they are slutty. It just means they are not constrained by what other people or society tells them about how relationships or sex should be, rather, they explore it on their own, and some to their own conclusions, be it liberal or traditional. Girl friends are tested on the same levels of friendship as guys – trust, loyalty, honesty – these things remain the same regardless of sex.

Lesson 6: Love

This will sound cliche without context, however, you can’t find true love without love for yourself first. Those who really understand this know of the love one can have for oneself and how its interconnected with everything.

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